Aggressive child in nursery with dd

[Idontknowwhoiam]

My daughter is being hit on a regular basis by a child in her nursery class. She is 4 and this child will be moving with her to reception so is either also 4 or will be soon.

I know this child does not have a SEN diagnosis, I also know his older brother is massively disruptive in class. His brother throws chairs, equipment etc around the class room, is generally nasty. (As a parent helper, brother hit me twice leaving a mark.)

So younger brother hits my daughter (and other children in the class) regularly. She has had a nasty black eye (toy was used ) and today has a large scratch down her forehead from this boy.
She says she tells the teacher (not 100% sure she does everytime) and he either gets put on the 'thinking mat' or if its particularly aggressive or persistent he's taken to the head.

She comes home most days telling me he has hurt her, I've spoken to the class teacher and the head teacher and I've been told that she needs to just tell him to stop or tell them so they can deal with it.

This is obviously not going to work as the teachers intervention isn't stopping this child's behaviour so why would he stop if my dd tells him to?!

My question is what can I do about this? As he gets bigger, he's going to be able to hurt my dd and the other children more.
His behaviour is going to be disrupting their education and she already mentions him as we walk into school, hoping he won't hit her that day.

What rights do these children have over this other child, how far can I push for something to be done or should we be resigned to him forever being allowed to 'think' about his actions.... its not enough and getting away with it at 3/4 is surely just going to cement the behaviour.

Ps. This has been ongoing since September.

Pps. Sorry for the massive post and thanks for getting this far!

[Jasonandyawegunorts]

YouCantEducatePotatoes

That's not true, Haven't you seen the toy story films?

[mummytime]

In this situation however lovely the nursery may be it is failing at least two children the DD of the OP and the violent little boy. The OP putting in a written complaint might just help both of them.

[SauvignonPlonker]

I think the school are letting your DD down badly. That's a really crap response from the HT.

I would put something formally in writing, requesting a written response. And also involve the parent council.

[StarlightMcKenzee]

What Miaw Said. Every time your child reports an incident, report it to the school, in writing.

Specialist services are in very short supply and the evidence of need in this regard has a very high bar now. The parent could be crying out for help but because of the older son, is being blamed for the behaviour rather than the school getting help in.

Whether true or not, your best call for your child, and the child who is being difficult, is to keep an evidence trail that at some point, the school will HAVE to address.

[Cleo1303]

I feel so sorry for your DD. The nursery has a Duty of Care to your daughter and is failing her badly. The injuries you describe are hardly minor and I'm astonished the school is dealing so badly with the situation.

Complain in person about every incident, email them about every incident and take photos of every incident.

Is this nursery part of the same school your daughter will be starting in September? If so, write to the Governors about the situation too.

[nicp123]

If your child returns from school with marks or injuries you must ask the school if they are registered/logged. They should inform you & discuss the incidents with you every time and you should be able to see the 'Accidents & Incidents' log, sign and comment on it! Have you read the school's Policy & Procedures on Health, Safety & Behaviour?
Seems very dodgy to me... Teachers might be doing something (very slow) to sort things out or they might very well 'hide their heads in the sand' thinking the problem will go away. If I were you I would start taking photos every time marks are obvious and not accidental and write down what child tells in her own words. Keeping a diary will be very useful later. Send formal letter of concern to those in charge and if no improvement is made, then make a formal complain to the Chair of Governors. Every child is entitled to safety no matter how many children with special needs are in their school. Good luck!

[IoraRua]

You know, as the sibling of a violent autistic boy, I had to put up with a lot of shit in my childhood that was brushed off with an "ah sure, he can't help it the poor love". And irregardless of his ability to stop it, that doesn't make it ok. It took me years of therapy to stop making excuses for that, and how my parents had let me down.

With that said, his behaviour isn't your concern, not really. What is your concern is that your dd isn't being protected - and you need to come at it from that angle. Basic safety is a right. Complain, complain, complain. And photograph everything.