Appropriate reading when they read everything in sight?

[DubaiAnna]

Hi all,
DS is 8 (oldest of 3) and is devouring books, which we encourage by keeping the bookshelves stocked - lots of top ups from the local charity shops and various other sources. He's read a couple of Kindle books, but I like him to have the feel of a real book, plus the security that I can see what he's reading.

But how do we keep an eye on the appropriateness of what he's reading? Yesterday he borrowed Harry Potter Deathly Hallows from the school library. I have only read the first few HP books, but HP is 16/17 now, and although the few pages I flicked through last night were not objectionable, I feel uneasy about this (have kept it with me until I have a chance to read more). I don't want to hold him back, and I know that readers will always get to material which is beyond their years - but how do you monitor your young child's reading, and are there particular books you keep him away from? Same for movies really - but I am even more conservative on that point. Would love to hear from others at a similar stage or who are a little way ahead with your DC...

[FriendlyLadybird]

The only books that my parents ever banned when I was a child were those by Enid Blyton. My father cared only that a book was well written. I'm inclined towards the same approach. I honestly don't think children properly take in things that they're not ready for. Quite a lot of books that I read first at a young age I would discover completely anew when older.

[dollybird]

Just to add, I am re-reading Over Sea Under Stone in the Dark is Rising sequence as I want to read all of them (only read the first many times as a child as I loved it). Loving it this time, but I really don't remember there being nasty people trying to get the map/grail, breaking into their house while they were sleeping etc, so I do think some things go over childrens head

[DubaiAnna]

Sorry to be late coming back with a replies - and thanks for the very useful feedback from all of you. I'll have another good old look through Deathly Hallows and then let him get on with it. He doesn't seem to scare easily (though hasn't been exposed to much of the horror variety) but is apt to tell smaller brother or cousins too much of the plot. What he's able to handle, his 5 year old brother or cousins may not be. Just have to watch that.

[MaddAddam]

I've only ever censored one book, I hid "We need to talk about Kevin" from my 11yo and her horror-loving friend, I don't want them to refuse to go in the school gym for the next few years, that would be awkward.

Apart from that, I tend to hope that a sensible child will self-censor (I did, and still do, I avoid horror books and films) and if a child isn't that sensible I suppose I hope they'll self-censor anyway! Harry Potter is a kids' book anyway, it's not really very gruesome compared to serious adult stuff.

[Marmitelover55]

My DD2 read all of the Harry Potter books aged 9 back to back - she loved them. Admittedly though I haven't read the later ones. She read the first 2 Hunger Games last year aged 8 - I had read these and was a bit concerned, but her teacher thought she would be fine. He was right, although she didn't get on with the third one so well and abandoned that. Didn't understand the political angle so well I don't think. Since finishing HP she had ready the Maurice Gleizman holocaust series "once", "then", "after" and "now". I cried when I read these, but she has taken it all in her stride. I do think some of it must go over their heads at this age. Thankfully she is now reading "swallows and amazons" which I feel more age appropriate. My elder daughter is not as into reading, and I am reluctant to curb DD2's enthusiasm. I remember reading "Flowers in the Attic" at a similar age (not very literary and probably quite unsuitable but didn't do me any harm).

[VileWoman]

The HP books are interesting, I wouldn't ban them if the child could read them themselves but I think the films aren't appropriate for an 8 year old, the later ones are all 12 rated. You can easily stop reading a book, I think a child would find it harder to walk out of a room where a scary DVD was playing.

My problem is more around films at the moment. When we were visiting my Mum my 7 year old nephew pulled out 'War Horse' and said 'can we watch this, it's really good'. I said 'no, DD's too young, look it's a 12 rating' and he laughed and started boasting about all the films he'd seen that were 12 or 15 ratings. It's pretty hard to put your foot down in a situation where you are effectively criticising someone else's parenting but since DD gets scared in the theatre when the lights go down and sat with her head under my jumper when we went to see The Croods I'm definitely not going to let her watch a film with a 12 rating.

[exoticfruits]

This is why the best solution is to get the child a library ticket and let them choose. Nothing wrong with suggesting.

[IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou]

I think I may have approached this question from a slightly different angle from some of you. When I knew my Enid Blyton's off by heart, I didn't stumble upon LOTR or Les Mis or the complete works of Dickens. I stumbled across Jackie Collins, Jilly Cooper etc.

I know there are books I gave to ds1 which he was too young for and now refuses to re-read. I've never given a book a 2nd chance either. I accept I'm the poorer for it but there you have it.

[posadas]

My main consideration is to encourage my son to avoid reading (or seeing, for that matter!) things that will give him nightmares. He had nightmares after reading HP book 3 a few years ago (age 7) so I suggested he not read further in the series until he was older. My brother gave him HP 4 as a gift at Christmas last year and, again, he had nightmares for a few weeks, so I've put further books in the series on hold. He's now suggested he could read HP 5 in Spanish ... so I might give in and let him try -- both to get him to read more in another language and also because the impact of "scariness" probably would be less!
I'm not sure whey the HP books have had this impact on him. Other fantasy books that seem scary to me haven't affected him the same way. Movies, though, do have more of an impact so we try to stick to lighthearted films. He loved reading The Hobbit but found the film upsetting because some of the characters were so grotesque on screen.

I agree, though, that children usually interpret what they are able to interpret from books so I don't try to restrict too much they take an "age-appropriate meaning" from books and might well have another interpretation if they were to read again when they're older. For example, the Roman Mystery series has quite a lot of "sexual" innuendo (orgies happening in back rooms, for example) but I think my son just enjoyed the main plot and didn't pick up on those themes.

[VenusRising]

My 9 yo has read all the HPs. And seen all the films, after reading the books.

Banning books is counter productive imvho!
I was in that position when I was a child. My DM had banned lots of books, and tbh it put me off reading for a few years. Also whenever I had a book in my hand my DF would advise me to read more appropriate books. It was like I was being stalked and nagged.

What your kids read should be chosen by them - you don't tell them what to think, so let them choose their own books.

Any mature themes will go over their heads, and at 8 they should be getting an inkling of more mature themes anyway - it can be helpful to have the birds and bees discussion in dribs and drabs anyway if that's what you're worried about.

[exoticfruits]

I was a prolific reader so I would have been seriously hampered if I had to wait for my mother to read them first. I had a library ticket- the most wonderful thing to me and the freedom of the children's library. I think it self selective - if it is unsuitable you generally don't understand it and give up.
I am always surprised at how biddable you think children are. I was very well behaved,and not a rebel of any sort, but my mother not letting me read a certain book would have made it instantly desirable! In case of OP I would have had it out if the school library and read it at school without saying so.
I read anything and everything- impossible to monitor really. e.g. I loved problem pages in women's magazines and unless your mother is going to watch you like a hawk they are going to miss what you pick up in dentist waiting rooms etc!

[cory]

It is lovely to have an early reader because they can really access the good classics before they feel too "grown-up" for the contents: E. Nesbit, The Secret Garden, Ballet Shoes, retellings of Homer and Beowulf, Rosemary Sutcliffe, Jennings, Just William...

[MissManaged]

Echoing allowing LOTR -after starting with the Hobbit.
I can't remember how old I was, but mine DCs had all read both before 12.
Wonderfully written.

Perhaps the greatest opportunity, with readers who are young enough to be easily guided, is that one can offer them the best, and they tend to love it

[thegreylady]

The Lord of the Rings is amazing. Most of the linguistic stuff is above a child,s head. Start with The Hobbit and if he likes that try the others. One excellent Tolkien for younger readers is Roverandom.

[exexpat]

If you are worried, read things first, but as an early advanced reader myself, I have to say that you are not going to be able to monitor everything for long. By 10 or 11 I was helping myself to all sorts of things from the top of my parents' bookshelves...

I don't think 8 is too young for the whole Harry Potter series - DD read them all at 8, as did a lot of her friends; DS read the first five at 6 (he had to wait for the last two to be published).

Rather than banning them, maybe try talking to your DCs about how to decide for themselves, or come and talk to you about, whether they want to read or carry on reading a book that they might find scary or sad or whatever.

[pointythings]

I haven't censored anything - I've always discussed the book with the DDs and let them choose whether or not to read it, and they've been pretty sensible. On the whole Jacqueline Wilson bothers me more than LOTR and HP, but even there I've just discussed rather than banned and on the whole it's been good. The DDs have held off on HP 6 and 7 and are now 10 and 12 so IMO old enough for them - witht he films, we've read the book to them before letting them see the film and that's worked.

DD1 has read LOTR, DD2 has tried it and not quite got on with it. She's currently reading The Ear, the Eye and the Arm by Nancy Farmer, which was given to her at school and is Young Adult - fascinating science fiction set in a future Zimbabwe, she is getting a lot out of it. DD1 is reading another YA book called Seraphina, by Rachel Hartman, because she is into dragons at the moment. I think if you have very advanced readers you need to read a lot yourself as a parent so you know what you are getting into, and you have to be light touch about keeping things under control.

[Runningchick123]

Mother inferior - I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't read LOTR. I haven't read many books with any level of interest since being an adult. I even got through my university degree without reading any books for the entire three years .
Going to buy LOTR as a Xmas present for my son. Thanks for the reassurances about suitability .

[Pachacuti]

I read Lord Of The Rings at seven; I don't think it's unsuitable (if he's read HP 1-6 it's certainly no worse than those).

[Ferguson]

I think Arthur Ransome books are excellent, as they are interesting adventures that also impart the history and way of life of the period (1930s), AND if one is really keen you can pretty well learn to sail from them!

"Coot Club" is particularly good as it is set in real places in the Norfolk Broads. All the villages, rivers, broads etc mentioned in the story can be found on the Ordnance Survey 2-1/2" Broads map. This can give the added interest of following the route in considerable detail. Apart from there being less railway lines, and more major roads, surprisingly little has changed since the'30s!

Another book that can be followed on large scale maps, as well as on dedicated web sites is "Watership Down". The housing development that destroyed the rabbits' first home, is on the outskirts of Newbury.

MCP - I read Du Maurier for the first time a couple of years ago - at the age of 73, and now 'hooked'.

[ClayDavis]

I'd agree with that MrsCakes. There were only 2 books my mum banned me from reading at primary age (although tbf, there wasn't any need to ban the rest of the Stephen King books after I'd read the first half of the one I got my hands on). My friend's mum was pretty straight laced and banned a lot of stuff, particularly anything aimed at teenagers with more mature story lines - a lot of Judy Blume springs to mind here. What we read in years 5, 6 and 7 was pretty similar and we often swapped books. The difference was my mum knew what I was reading and we could discuss it.

[MrsCakesPremonition]

I was reading anything and everything from around the age of 9 or 10. Daphne Du Maurier, Len Deighton, Casino Royale (seriously unsuitable with hindsight). I don't think I read the books with the understanding of an adult, so quite a lot went over my head and I've only spotted stuff on rereading as I've got older. I think the important thing as a parent is to be prepared to keep communication open, try not to ban anything but be ready to talk through any ideas or issues that crop up.
I can honestly say that I've never been damaged by anything I've read but I've always steered clear of horror because I'm a coward and luckily my parents didn't own any horror books.

[motherinferior]

You haven't read LOTR??

It's fine. I read it at eight. Mind you I read - and enjoyed - Jane Eyre at seven.

[dollybird]

my DD has just turned 10 and is currently reading Deathly Hallows. She's seen all the films (got them for her birthday). She's also read The Hobbit. For her birthday she got The Dark is Rising series, a Terry Pratchett and Artemis Fowl, all recommendations from on here.

[ClayDavis]

thegreylady, the complete works of Dickens was what I had in mind when I was talking abut stuff I enjoyed as an 8 year old but find unreadable now.

[Runningchick123]

Mistlethrush - I suppose it depends how good the individuals imagination is and whether they are a visual thinker or not as to whether they find books more vivid or films. In any case my son has read the ooks and watched the films and wasn't disturbed by any.
I'm quite sure he's going to nag me about The Lord of the rings books until his dad caves in and let's him have them to read.
Has anybody here read the lord of the rings? If anyody has can you please tell me how unsuitable it is likely to be?