primary admission - if I put that as school has provision for music, and DS plays instrument - he woudl fulfill his musical development

[Hotpotatofood]

Just thinking - I remember on the application form for primary school there was a box asking if there is any social/ medical needs for the child to be in the school. If I put that if as school has provision for music, and DS plays instrument - he would fulfill his musical development there? because local schools in our area do not provide music. ( I mean extra curricular activities). would this make any sense?

The pastoral needs I have known to work (though for secondary admissions) have been things like:

school has specially trained bereavement counsellor and child's mother is expected to die shortly

child has very unusual SN which causes severe (=requiring medical treatment) anxiety concerning school situation: this school is the only one who has experience in dealing with this specific situation due to already having a child with this particular SN on their books

Sorry but you are clutching at straws. Is this the more local faith school which you want to appeal ? Is it any nearer/more accessible than the one you have been allocated.

Hotpotato, I understand that you are frustrated that you haven't got the school you wanted. But please think again before you go down this route. Unless there is a bigger picture that we don't know about none of the issues you've describe make your case exceptional.

There is another post in this section from someone whose friend was not able to apply under exceptional conditions and is looking to appeal. Her child has cystic fibrosis, an incurable life limiting condition that requires careful management both at home and at school in order to keep the child well. The school also needs to have very high levels of pastoral care to help them deal with all the emotional problems that go hand in hand with the condition.

What you are suggesting as reasons for exceptional consideration I feel are somewhat insulting to this mother and child

if my dad has got terminal cancer and he is the one who often plays iwth my son and picks him up from school - then this provides a continuity of care? if it is broken by going to the distant school, then this is going to affect my son's feel of safety and security?

I thought on your other thread it was your mother doing the school runs?

May I be very frank?

We seem to be going round in circles here. I understand that you very much want this particular school but you have not mentioned anything that is likely to get you into the social/medical need category on the waiting list and/or help you to win an appeal, if you decide to go down the appeal route.

Wanting a particular person to do the school run just isn't a compelling enough reason for place a child in the social/medical need category. That is usually reserved for (say) a child with a hearing impairment who needs at the place at the only school with a hearing loss unit. The need would have to be verified by documentary evidence from the child's doctors or other professionals and the school would have to be the only one that could meet that particular need.

I am very sorry to hear that your father is so unwell, but in terms of admissions criteria or appeals, it seems to me that your situation is on a par with that of parents who want a school next to their workplace to make the school run easier, near grandparents so that they can provide after-school care, near the childminder they are using for other siblings etc. I can understand why parents would want such things, but they don't carry enough weight to place a child in the social/medical need category or to win an appeal. The LEA (and the appeal panel, if it came to it) would take the view that parents should sort out some means of getting their child to school on time, whether that is using a childminder or mother's help, arranging a lift swap with other parents, using breakfast and after school clubs and so on.

In terms of admissions/appeals, it makes no difference which grandparent is doing the school run.

I have both mother and father who help me, I thought to built my point around the fact that the tie that is between my father and DS has an impact on emotional development and thriving of my DS - also my father has a terminal cancer, so by braking this tie, my DS will have a huge impact on his feeling of safety

Ah. Seems a little .........tasteless....... to me, so I think I'll bow out.

also - if I had a baby recently and DS has gone through unstable emotions - again, changing to distant school can unstabilise him more as it is too many changes at the same time. he woudl need to be in his local school in order to provide him with familiarity

You need to take a step back. You have no grounds for appeal, and no grounds to jump the waiting list. Your childcare arrangements with your parents are irrelevant. Even if your parents can't take him to school, they will have plenty of other time to see him. Thousands of children every year experience disruption as the existing care arrangements change as they go to school, these have no weight at appeal or admission.

You need to focus on the practicalities. Getting on waiting lists, sorting out transport to the school offered.

Again, none of the reasons you mention would be sufficient. Many children have new siblings, many children lose grandparents (and I'm sorry that that must sound blunt during what must be a very difficult time for you). Medical issues must directly concern the child, or possibly the main adult carer (in some LAs). Continuity of care won't wash. The same might apply to the thousands of children whose parents wish them to stay on with an established childminder.

Having a new baby is irrelevant too, otherwise thousands of kids would have grounds for appeal every year!

Hot why do you keep labouring the point, when people who are very knowledgeable are telling you that you have no grounds to appeal?

Surely it would be best for your son to say 'this is where you are going to school' and start to get him ready for that?

Again, we are going round in circles. The arrival of a younger sibling is such a common situation that it does not add any weight to school applications or appeals.

I am sorry but you are clutching at very brittle straws.

Telling a school you need a place for your son so that your terminally ill father can struggle on the school run with your child, to provide continuity is going to make you look, not just lacking in empathy but mean spirited and un-charitable!

To be blunt, your father is going to die, it is better for your childs continuity that your father does not take him to school.

OP - I'm sure that the recent months have been very hard for you with your father being so ill and having a new baby.

But that doesn't get away from the fact that you didn't even bother to go and look at schools. You have been given your first choice - yes? And now you have changed your mind - although you still haven't been to see the schools in question. Is that right?

What is to stop you using a childminder to take your child to school like so many other parents do?

I have to agree with seeker. Bringing up your fathers terminal cancer in order to get a place in a school, even though you already have a place in your first choice school is a bit tasteless.

You put a school down. You didn't stop to think how on earth you were going to get your child to and from this school for the next 7 years. And now you are trying everything from musical ability in a 4 year old to a child unsettled by a new sibling in order to get a place at another school.

The experts on here have already told you that this is not going to work.

My father is the only one who can take him to school and he cannot walk long distances to the bus
also my father has a terminal cancer

Um, so what do you plan to do about getting your child to school after your dad's too-soon death? Who will escort your son then?

Is this whole thread a windup?!

What instrument does your son play?

I understand that you possibly didn't factor in the logistics when you chose this school (and you did choose it, by putting it 3rd) but you seem to be stretching the truth to try, and find some wiggle room, to change your school choice.

I strongly feel your using DF cancer as an appeal, when previously you have said DM for childcare, is unethical. He didn't factor in your original plans for getting DS to school but now you feel his cancer will hold more weight at appeal, suddenly he's involved.

People have given you excellent advice, I am often amazed the time/effort/energy they put in assisting people through all this stress but you haven't listened, only tried to find a loop hole in what the are advising.

The fact is GPs do school runs, people get sick, have babies, have religious needs, have musical children. None of these are unique, many people have far more severe situations and they are still not grounds for appeal.

I'm a single parent with no family, 3 young children, one with an acquired brain injury and wouldn't use any of it as grounds for appeal. A mum at school was undergoing Chemotherapy when her DD started in September, she had to walk as couldn't drive because of chemo and didnt appeal her other, closer, schools.

Life is difficult some times, we don't get what we want and have to deal with the consequences of actions we didn't make. I really feel, as a Christian, we have to deal with things in a morally ethical way and in this situation I feel that is to find the solutions and not fight the decision.

aah balls, planned to edit that, got a bit carried away, especially the Christian bit, oh well.

i do not appeal but just trying to bump up my waiting list

We appreciate that, but you don't have any grounds to bump yourself up. Sorry, but you need to deal with that and move on.

So you're prepared to use your dad's terminal illness just to "bump yourself up the waiting list?" Hope he's happy to be used in such a way.
However, waiting lists don't operate according to 'need'. They will take into account the published criteria, which usually includes things like siblings/distance etc.. Not sure about Catholic schools though.