Can I have some advice please.
I started a thread in AIBU over the weekend about the standoff over DS's homework
However, I could do with some advice overall.
DS is 7 & in Y2. He's bright (predicted L3s) and is a very active boy. Has always struggled with sitting still etc, although much better as he gets older.
There have been issues with him finishing his work at school. He is not finding it hard, nor is he being particularly disruptive, he is just not doing the work. He's easily distracted an doesn't like to miss out on anything else that's going on.
His teacher (who I really like) has taken to keeping him in at break or lunch to finish his work. She hopes it will give him incentive to get his work done. She is also worried about SATS tests as he won't finish the tests in time, even though he is working at a high level.
I've been fully supportive of all of this and tried to reinforce it at home.
However, it's not working.
Now DS is complaining that no one will play with him and he doesn't care about break time. I think this is because once he gets outside, everyone has already teamed up for games etc and are in full swing.
He is becoming more miserable. He's always been a popular, confident boy.
I want to speak to his teacher about the break time thing but don't want to undermine what she is trying to do, or be all PFB about my little angel.
I would like to offer some alternative suggestions but not sure how this would go down.
Any thoughts?
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Strategies for demotivated boy - loss of playtime
fruitstick · 22/01/2013 21:06
Have just ordered Myth of Laziness mummytime, can't wait to have a read! 
mummytime Thankyou for not instantly deciding that I am a pig ignorant Worlds Worst Mother . I only found out about what was said by the teacher a year ago, and what my son said was pretty much confirmed in my mind when I was given information which tied said teacher in with working with him around that time although I was not aware as the teacher was not his class teacher or classroom TA, in fact I am quite sure she is outside help (I need to find out about that). Yes he is on SA+ for BESD, currently under assessment with camhs for ASD but he isn't having any additional help with school work other than that from the teacher because he has been assessed by an EP and he came out as being more than capable but lacking motivation, 
wonder why that could be?? therefore my son wont be treated any different than any other. His teacher has actually told me that my son doesn't do most of his work because he "can't be bothered" backing up the whole "lazy" label he has given himself. I am just waiting at the moment to find out if there is something causing his difficulties which fingers crossed wont be much longer and then my husband and I will sit down and decide what we are going to do either look elsewhere or get the big guns out.
like the ear plug idea! my sons problem is he seems to notice things that most wouldn't. eg a teacher walked past the window one day and she had her hair in a pony tail which he said was hilarious because it looked like she had a dog stuck to the back of her head (in all honesty I would probably of noticed it too 
! I asked him if anyone else saw it he said no only me, I asked him what he did he said sat laughing and then got in trouble with his teacher. It does sometimes make me wonder if its the teaching style being used at the times when he isn't completing his work...hence looking around for something more interesting to focus on.
Ear plugs now why didn't I think of that
Slams head on keyboard!
Hello fruitstick. We have the same going on here, I'm afraid if you look into your schools policies I'm sure the staying in at breaktime/ lunchtimes will be covered somewhere. My son has been struggling with the same things as you describe including the no friends scenario, I was called in so many times last year because his SATS were around the corner, watched him go from being a happy bubbly chappy to a pasty faced anxious snappy little boy (
). Sadly it is the same this year, he is still being kept in at breaktimes/ lunchtimes for either not completing his work or being rude ( and from what he tells me being rude is saying no to finishing his work 
), he has always found it hard to complete work in a given time frame and we are told that he completes the work during class time but our son has finally ( he thought we would be cross if he told us last year which added to his anxiety) started to tell us when he finishes school what he didn't finish and when he had to finish it...so far this week he has failed to complete work in 4 lessons, missed watching a dvd (which was in place of swimming), had to work through his art lesson (something which he really enjoys therefore wouldn't purposely miss for the sake of not doing other work), 2 breaktimes and 1 lunchbreak and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it (have spoken to teacher and head they simply agree with what I say about the fresh air etc and then carry on doing it either way). And there's his teachers wondering why he shows no enthusiasm in his lessons??
We asked him why he still doesn't finish his work in lesson and his answer was because I'm lazy, thats what every teacher I have had apart from Miss x (nursery teacher) says 
, No type of intervention has worked so far but so long as he doesn't get to the point he was last year I will just concentrate on keeping him as relaxed and happy at home as possible.
You're right - the simpler the better.
His other issue is that he has always struggled with his sleep. He finds it very difficult to wind down and in the past it has been awful. When he was younger, we tried reward charts but they never worked as we could never get him to get his first sticker, so he just gave up bothering.
Hopefully this might work.
I'm off to drawer a totaliser on the kitchen notice board
I tried a timer this morning for getting dressed but it didn't make a blind bit of difference.
He eats well, although he is far more sensitive to sugar than his brother, so I try to limit sweets etc.
I actually have no idea whether he's regular or not. That's bad isn't it 
He has never drunk enough and I do try to make him, but if he had his way he'd leave in the morning without drinking anything. I'm not sure how much he drinks at school.
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