Premature birth and delaying school start

[hawthers]

My DS1 was born at the end of August but should have been born in late October. He spent quite a long time in the NICU and has had extensive follow up by his consultant and a developmental specialist. Amazingly he is fine health wise although small for his age. He does not have any major developmental delay aside from the overall general delay if that makes sense.

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone has any experience of delaying primary school entry for their child? I'm gathering there is not a whole lot of guidance on how to do it and it is very much at the discretion of individual headteachers but many of them are not keen to step outside the standard procedure.

My DS1 does not appear to have any SEN but i guess it may be too early to tell right now (he is 3). It is clear though that he is just younger than all the other kids in his preschool and it seems barmy to push him along in the wrong school year where he will always struggle. His consultant and the developmental specialist have both said that they will support a delayed entry.

Would be really grateful to hear any experiences.

[Dozer]

It's true that under the current arrangements there's not a lot families can do, but IMO it adds insult to injury when people argue that it's not a problem, when it often is.

In Scotland (government has more money per head to spend than in england) there is flexibility and parents decide.

[LeBFG]

Even aside from prematurity issues or other SEN problems, the UK school system has always favoured grouping pupils by age. The rational I guess is that even if academically there is an unequal outcome wrt birth date, other potentially worse problems are avoided. I'm thinking in particular about maturity particularly in the teenage years. Although I find it hard to believe primary level kids are comparing ages, I could easily imagine this would happen at secondary level - I could imagine there would be a stigma attached to the child who was by far the oldest in the class.

[homebythesea]

Honestly kids don't take any notice of each others ages- it's school year that matters. They may be vaguely aware of when their friends birthdays are but it has no significance. There's plenty of other sources of stigma!!

[homebythesea]

Dozer- whilst I am prepared to accept that being v young for the year (by virtue of prematurity or being born at 2355 on August 31) could mean the child is challenged at the outset of their education. However the point is surely that by the time they move on through the age differential becomes less and less apparent until it disappears. If you look at a group of 11 year olds who will be at different stages of growth, development and maturity you would have no idea where each lies in the age range of their class.

There is support available in the classroom for strugglers and keeping them back could have worse implications later. This is the point most are making.

[CelticPromise]

Marking place to read and respond. I have a 27 week DS born end of August, we are attempting the same thing.

[LeBFG]

I see your point homebythesea, but I think the point is being made that in spite of a lot of mixing of different abilities etc and over time differences becoming less apparent, there is still a trend that younger children in a year group do less well. This is only a trend. Not ALL young ones do less well. Not ALL older ones do better.

I agree with the general UK policy that, even in the event that a premmie does less well as a result of age, it matters more that they are with peers of their own age rather than ability. I think this matters much more when children are reaching sexually maturity.

Schools are already equipped to help with SEN pupils and pupils that fall behind have lots of opportunities/support to catch up. Perhaps this is what OP could focus on? Making sure that, in the eventuality her DS struggles, what support systems are in place to ensure he keeps up with the rest.

[hawthers]

But surely that supports the idea that he should go into the academic year of his edd? He'll be emotionally, socially and sexually less mature than his peers as the absolute youngest of his year.

I'm not suggesting he goes back several years just into the year he should have been born in. I wouldn't be considering it if he was premature and in the same school year as his due date. The issue is he summer born and for the sake of a week or so, he is in this position.

All advice gratefully received. Just trying to do the best thing!

[CelticPromise]

There are parents who have managed to do this OP. Bliss may be able to put you in touch with some. There is also a Bliss supporter who has had some success in persuading his LEA to alter their admissions code and is looking to take the campaign further. Info on the Bliss facebook page.

I agree that it's important to get the HT onside. Have you spoken to your LEA? Mine told me to clear it with HT first, but that may be because our preferred school is a VA school not a community school. Private is absolutely out for us.

HT of my preferred school has advised me to apply this year and discuss flexibility once we have a place. Although she has made the right noises I am not convinced she'll be supportive so I will be sending a letter and supporting evidence with the application making it very clear what we want ( other options have been mentioned eg two years in reception, a longer period of half days).

Like yours, my DS has been incredibly fortunate not to have specific long term problems, but he is very immature even for his corrected age. It's not just about his ability to learn, he is behind socially and emotionally, can't follow instructions, is nowhere near potty training and needs lots of help to eat lunch. He has much more in common with the two year olds at his pre school than with the other school applicants.

LeBFG the thing is, the kids in the year below are my DS's age. He didn't get a head start by being three months prem, quite the opposite. He won't be reaching sexual maturity any earlier because of his early birth!

[CelticPromise]

There are parents who have managed to do this OP. Bliss may be able to put you in touch with some. There is also a Bliss supporter who has had some success in persuading his LEA to alter their admissions code and is looking to take the campaign further. Info on the Bliss facebook page.

I agree that it's important to get the HT onside. Have you spoken to your LEA? Mine told me to clear it with HT first, but that may be because our preferred school is a VA school not a community school. Private is absolutely out for us.

HT of my preferred school has advised me to apply this year and discuss flexibility once we have a place. Although she has made the right noises I am not convinced she'll be supportive so I will be sending a letter and supporting evidence with the application making it very clear what we want ( other options have been mentioned eg two years in reception, a longer period of half days).

Like yours, my DS has been incredibly fortunate not to have specific long term problems, but he is very immature even for his corrected age. It's not just about his ability to learn, he is behind socially and emotionally, can't follow instructions, is nowhere near potty training and needs lots of help to eat lunch. He has much more in common with the two year olds at his pre school than with the other school applicants.

LeBFG the thing is, the kids in the year below are my DS's age. He didn't get a head start by being three months prem, quite the opposite. He won't be reaching sexual maturity any earlier because of his early birth!

[CelticPromise]

Oops sorry for double post. I thought the first one failed.

[LeBFG]

It's a debate about being the oldest in the year verses the youngest.

I would worry more if my DS was the oldest - he is likely to mature sooner than his class mates, sexually and in other respects. I would fear he would stand out as being older and thus identified as being a 'bit thick' or needing extra help by the adolescent years.

[CelticPromise]

Ah I see what you mean. I do worry about that, but my DS isn't likely to be the biggest or mature fastest. Looking at it from the other side, he'll be the first one who can drive or buy a pint if he goes into the year below.

It depends on the child, I think I'd like to see more flexibility in the system in general.

[homebythesea]

hawthers the point I was trying to make was that in terms of maturity, size etc you would have no idea when in the year any child in a particular year was born when they get to say age 11. They grow and mature so differently. You will ALWAYS have children potentially 364 days older in a class whatever the cut off is - it is a necessary function of a system. It would be chaos if we could effectively choose when our kids started school. And I remain sceptical that there is any statistical proof that August born kids do significantly worse at GCSE, A level or Degree levels

[MustafaCake]

One of DS's classmates was a 27 week Summer born premmie. He's still a tiny wee boy but has done fantastically well in reception and now in year one. He's in the most challenging/able groups for both numeracy and literacy (DS's school splits the class for these subjects due to the huge range in ability).

His Mum had huge reservations about sending him to school in the "correct" year as he seemed quite "babyish". However, she said that the school has been fab and reassured her that they would work together to ensure he got whatever support he needed. She told me she assumed he'd struggle due to his age/prematurity and was anticipating loads of problems - in actual fact he had none at all bar the usual "starting school probs" - getting tired, strugging a bit with playtime etc.

School did say that if he struggled they could do half days, Jan start etc but he did not need that.

So maybe just see how your son gets on at school and deal with any issues as they arise?

[gelo]

homebythesea - As you are sceptical, here is the link to the ifs study dozer mentioned. It found August born children about 5.5/6.1% (girls/boys) less likely to meet KS4 threshold (5A*-C grade GCSEs) than their September born peers.
Differences at A level too, but not so pronounced as that's only the ones that have opted to stay in full time education (obviously the August borns are less likely to have met the academic requirements to have stayed on to begin with).

[jellybeans]

My twins made the year above also as they were slightly prem. They also had problems and global delays \possible autism. However they went to school as I felt it would help their speech, school had a therapist in often. Also worried about the social aspects of being in the ' wrong year' or missing reception As it happened they did OK although it was a massive disadvantage at first. They caught up later on about year 2 or 3. I do wish they had been born later though some times and made their proper year!

[homebythesea]

gelo thank you for that.

[Dozer]

The system seems to work fine in Scotland. And think the oldest are more likely to be advantaged (eg in terms of sport, performing, academically etc) rather than face stigma.

[LeBFG]

How can anyone know when DC are young how quickly they'll start maturing? I feel we can only look at averages and the spread. As homebythesea says, the variation within year groups can be quite large.

If we are deciding whether it's best to be very old or very young for an age group, I guess it would depend on the school. In the sort of comp I went to, young = babish and would have been pretty tough. In the school my DH went to, young (i.e. jumped up a year) = bright, so been more revered. Also, age issues cut both ways, being old might mean others in his year group treat him well, but he might feel he has more in common with the year above.

So complex! I can see why the system is quite strict in England.

[gelo]

The problem with the Scottish system is that you end up with an age range of about 18 months or more in each class instead of just a year. Which means the very youngest are even more disadvantaged, the oldest even more advantaged and the teachers have an even bigger ability range to teach.

[homebythesea]

Totally agree gelo which is why the system is inflexibke

[hawthers]

I can see those points and I'm not suggesting a general free for all in deciding which year to go into. But I do think that my DS1 should have been born in Oct so should go into that school year.

No doubt if he doesn't he will 'catch up' but if you put any Oct born child in the upper year then they would also do ok eventually. You could probably put a Dec born child in the previous year and it would probably work out ok in the end. Doesn't mean you should do it though and also doesn't mean the child might not have a shit time of it being the smallest and latest to do things (yes I know this is not necessarily the case but they will be statistically more likely to be as the youngest).

So its all very nice having the debate about what should be done in the education system but having seen him fight for his life and spend 10% of his life in intensive care, forgive me for trying to give him the appropriate start at school.

I am interested in all opinions but I'd be interested to know the background to those opinions I.e. parent of a premature baby (and whether they are summer born), doctor, teacher

[EyeoftheStorm]

Hawthers the application for primary school came on Friday and I have to say I had a bit of a wobble. I burst into tears on Sunday when I had to tell DS2 off for something and I'm quite strict and have never done that before, never even come close.

He is a July baby born at 30 weeks with extra complications including brain surgery at 5 months. He is my third, my baby. I had PTSD and needed counselling when he was 18 months old. There won't be any more babies for me and he has been through so much and will live with hydrocephalus and a VP shunt for the rest of his life.

But what is it I want for him? I want him to be resilient, to take bites out of life. I don't want him to feel different because he was premature.

My DH would say that sometimes I see problems where there aren't any. That I'm worrying about things before they have even happened. That I shouldn't underestimate our son.

I think what I'm saying is that if I thought I could delay DS2's school year easily I would. But if it was hard, if it threw me back to all the stress and worry of his birth and the unfairness of it all, I don't think that would be very good for DS2.

Perhaps there is a middle road - where DS2 starts school without delay, with his teachers and the school aware of my worries and concern, with an extra effort to bolster him if any problems come up. But not to expect them. To expect that everyone will love him because he looks like a red-headed milky bar kid and he's funny and gregarious. That he might surprise me and be that genius/sports star that everyone bloody well told me he might be