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parent/teacher meetings, how concrete is the feedback given? what to expect?

33 replies

timetoask · 10/10/2011 11:39

My very first parent/teacher meeting is due in a couple of weeks. DS (reception) never tells me anything! I have a rather faint idea of what is being done in the classroom. He brings reading home every night but that is about it. I am really looking forward to this meeting but I am not sure what to expect.

I know it's early days for my DS but I would like to have some concrete information about what he is doing and his progress so far. What type of feedback do teachers usually give?

I am also very interested in how he is developing socially and emotionally, he is a shy child and finds it difficult to make friends and speak out. Is this something that teachers would expect to talk about during these meetings?

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NiecieTheTerminator · 12/10/2011 17:00

Don't give them a week Iamnotminterested. I would do it a day or two before at most. They will only forget if there is too big a gap!! They should have it to hand anyway - it isn't like they have to do any additional work because monitoring should be on going.

If they still don't do it, arrange another meeting to discuss them properly after the parents' evening. There will be no excuses then! Don't let them fob you off.

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timetoask · 12/10/2011 12:05

Hi Iamnotminterested,
Your experience with parent/teacher meetings really do sound terrible.
"she is doing fine and making progress" is not good enough is it? I would definitely pursue a more concrete measurement of what progress has been made. And don't take no for an answer, you are entitled to get this information.
Good luck with it. This thread has been helpful for me, thank you all.

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Iamnotminterested · 12/10/2011 09:21

Forgot to say I will put this to them a week or so before so that they can be prepared.

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Iamnotminterested · 12/10/2011 09:20

Thanks mrz and NiecieTheTerminator

Usually at parents evenings in the past we have asked for her current levels and they "haven't got them handy" Hmm and will be jotted down on a post-it note and stuck in her home school diary a few days later; I think this time I am going to say, either in person to the teacher or via her diary, that we will be expecting to discuss her progress/levels/targets and will they be available on the night? Does that seem reasonable?

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NiecieTheTerminator · 12/10/2011 08:16

timetoask - I think in the early days 10 minutes is enough to have a fairly formal conversation about where your DC is and where they are going.

However, I would say in the early days it is worthwhile doing more informal visits too. In my DS's school they have an evening a week where you can go and look at their work, like a mini open evening. Some parents (not many) would be in there every week to find out how their DC was getting on but it worth going a couple of times a term to have a look and you can chat to the teacher then and there are no time constraints other than maybe other parents how have also dropped in. IMO parents't evening shouldn't present any surprises because you should be able to get the gist of what is going on anyway.

Imnotminterested - ask to see your DD's levels and the progress over the time in the juniors. That should concentrate their minds and they can't argue with a lack of progress if that is what they show.

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mrz · 11/10/2011 14:23

Legally the school have to provide parents with a report and levels at the end of KS1 & 2.
Personally I don't think there is anything to be gained by not being brutally honest with parents and much to lose. Schools and parents need to work together for the benefit of the child we can't do that if we hide information or mistrust each other.

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Iamnotminterested · 11/10/2011 13:42

mrz - another query!

Dd1 is in year 6 and we have parents evening after half-term; I feel that this year is "crunch-time" really, wrt current levels and her targets for end of KS2; Am I perfectly within my rights to ask what these are as to be perfectly honest we have had three years of bullshit ie. "she is doing fine and making progress" in a particular area where clearly she ISN'T and I just want hard facts really.

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mrz · 11/10/2011 12:18

30 children x 10 minutes means 5 hour parents evening (without a loo break or anyone over running) by which time I can't remember who I am never mind whose mum you are Hmm If you want to discuss things in depth it is far better to make an appointment at another time.

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timetoask · 11/10/2011 12:03

Hi FrightNight. thanks for remembering me! It's very interesting to hear how your meeting went and for me it has reinforced even more the fact that I need to be prepared with a list of questions/areas I would like to cover.
Shouldn't the meetings be longer though? 10 minutes sounds extremely short.

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FrightNight · 10/10/2011 21:22

Hi again OP. Well I can tell you it was very quick. My only issue is that as with the nursery (same site) they tended to head toward the development concerns rather than start with positives. When I mentioned that, the tone shifted quickly and became far more productive.

The time constraints meant depth of content was limited, when I mentioned that we had been looking forward to the meeting to get a real understanding of DS's progress I was immediately offered a follow up meeting in a few weeks time.

In summary expect high level feedback, if its less positive than you hope say you want to hear the positives, arrange a follow up if necessary.

Hope that helps x

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Snowy27 · 10/10/2011 17:52

Our school only give 5 minute slots for Parents Evening (and parents tend to just turn up whenever rather than at their appointment card!) So I have to be super organised about what I say!
Usually goes:
How do you think thing are going/do you have any concerns? (ask parents, who usually just look at me like I have two heads!)
How they've settled in
Any concerns (although I would have bought these up earlier, I don't think it's fair to spring things on parents at parents evening!)
Things you could do to help- (again 2 heads at this point!)

Parents also look through their learning journeys and are encouraged to comment- we provide translators to help with this bit and the actual meetings. It's really lovely if you can comment in their learning journey- how are they settled, what do they do at home, how lovely the teacher is :)

To be honest if you want a really in depth conversation its better to make an appointment at another time, luckily I tend to see most of my parents daily so I tend to 'chat' every day rather than save it all up!

Personally I wouldn't mention profile points at this stage in the year, we assess children against it at the end of each half term, and this early on it doesn't necessarily mean anything- things change so quickly in Reception- I'd rather focus on more general stuff- are they happy, settled, socially ok, can they concentrate, play with other, only play alone, sharing etc etc....

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mrz · 10/10/2011 17:34

You should by law have received a summary/report at the end of reception of your child's progress against the profile (schools only need to give out scores if parents ask for them as they are pretty meaningless without the summary). The scores are just numbers and two children with the score of 7 could be working at totally different levels of achievement. Only if all profile points are achieved could you say two children are working at the same level.
IMHO the summary report is more useful to me as a teacher/ a parent.

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chipandbiff · 10/10/2011 17:26

sorry to jump on board, but I have a similar question! mrz I have a child in yr1 and to date, there has been no mention of EYFS (in reception or nursery)....would it be unreasonable to ask for the scores? And what would it show me?!!
Sorry for the hijack, we've got our meeting coming up too, and I'd really rather go with meaningful questions so I can understand more of what's going on!

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mrz · 10/10/2011 15:49

Some teachers are very hung up on saving every piece of "evidence" to be stuck into the child's learning journey folder. I prefer to send home a child's first independent writing (and photocopy for myself) or a lovely painting or a photograph and share the moment when it happens not at some point in the future.

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timetoask · 10/10/2011 15:36

mrz, I have not received a single thing, meaningful or not. So my only hope now is that the teacher did indeed stick it in a folder for us to see.
Can I come and visit your school please? it sounds wonderful.

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mrz · 10/10/2011 15:32

We have a slide show on the IWB as parents drop off and collect children every day not just for parents evening

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mrz · 10/10/2011 15:26

As the EYFS profile is intended as a summary at the end of the reception year don't be surprised if this isn't mentioned.
As a reception teacher I didn't use worksheets and sent home anything the child produced when it was produced and meaningful for the child rather than stick it in a folder to share long after the child could remember what they had actually done.

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timetoask · 10/10/2011 15:19

Thank you FrightNight, that is a really kind offer and good luck with your meeting....

strawberry oh my goodness, sorry but had to giggle a bit. I cannot help but feel a little sorry for the teacher, she must have been mortified.

musntermum wow a slide show on the loop, fab. I will make sure I get there some minutes earlier..

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munstersmum · 10/10/2011 15:06

DS has been at 2 primaries & both have suggested you get to your parents evening appt 10 mins early so can have a flick through your kid's worksheets/folder/books. One also even at the first meeting in yrR had a slide show on loop of the kids doing various activities.

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strawberrymivvi · 10/10/2011 14:36

I've never found parents evenings that good to be honest. At our last one we spent the first two minutes listening to the teacher telling us how dd was getting on, It didn't quite tally (levels, etc) to what we'd been told in the report. She then called dd by someone else's name and it clicked that she'd been telling us how this other girl was getting on. The two girls have different colour hair and dd was even sitting with us!

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FrightNight · 10/10/2011 14:18

I've put this on my watch list as I have my first ever PE this afternoon. After DS goes to bed I'll send you an update if you like OP.

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timetoask · 10/10/2011 14:11

hmm... the "learning journey" sounds brilliant, I hope they are documenting his little achievements for me to look at.
I think I will have a little list under my sleeve... it might be useful you never know.
I think I'll make use of Red's list which covers lots.

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Tgger · 10/10/2011 14:00

Just remember that Reception is not that "progress" orientated! (thought I should warn you in case of disappointment). I think it's hard for it not to be rather general at this point as they've only been in school 6 weeks and the teachers and children are still getting to know each other.

We are always given their "learning journey" to look at- this has photos and comments from the teachers (as well as all those EYFS target things), so often you can look at this before the meeting and then pick up on something in it- perhaps something your DC enjoys/is good at and chat a bit about that and then this can lead onto a more general discussion of strengths/weaknesses/stuff to do at home if you want.

We had a similar meeting at this time last year at nursery and it was rather general and didn't learn much at all. However, did help build a relationship with key worker and then there were other opportunites during the year when I did get to chat to the teachers and learn a lot more about how DS was doing- eg "You know he can read a bit now" (errrr no!!!, thanks for telling me!).

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timetoask · 10/10/2011 13:13

Thank you Red, that was extremely useful.
I like the idea of having his targets discussed and to talk to some degree about his EYFS profile.... It is really annoying that DS doesn't tell me much, I really don't know what to expect about his progress.
I only know about reading, because that is the only thing he brings home everyday.
Thanks again Red.

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redskyatnight · 10/10/2011 12:59

(IIRC) DD's Reception parents' evening went something like this

  • they told me how she had settled in, how she was finding the school routines, and that she'd made friends
  • they told me about some things that DD liked doing (which was not a big surprise!)
  • they gave me her "targets" - which were things like reliably being able to count 10 objects, recognise common words in reading etc.
  • they showed me her EYFS profile as they'd assessed at the start of the year and told me how this compared to the "average" Reception child at this point.
  • they told me they had no concerns about her (presumably if they had these would have been covered)
  • I was asked if I had any questions
  • they also stressed that I was free to come and talk either to DD's teacher or her keyworker at any time


... it kind of was "she's settled in well, goodbye" in a more drawn out way, but actually if your child has just settled in fine and is progressing, it's hard to know what else they can say.
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