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I am a trainee head teacher and would like to know what makes a school good or bad at communicating with parents and getting parents involved in the wider school community

102 replies

HastingsJo · 18/08/2011 09:16

HI I'm an experienced Primary teacher and am undertaking the NPQH - head teacher qualification. As part of my learning I'm looking at what, for parents, makes schools good or bad and communicating and building a relationship with parents. I want to make my school, when I become a head have the best relationship with parents as possible to enable to maximise their child's learning. If you have any experiences or thoughts you'd like to share I'd really appreciate it - I've also put together a 5 minute survey which I'd be really grateful if you have time to complete. Many Thanks
Jo
//www.surveymonkey.com/s/parentschoolcommssurvey

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HastingsJo · 25/08/2011 10:47

MumsNet folk - you have surpassed my expectations and have been absolutely brilliant. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. If your children or grandchildren come to my school - I promise they'll have the best education the state provides :o

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SE13Mummy · 24/08/2011 21:56

Survey done. I've added a link (within the survey) to 'my' school's website so you can see how we use that to communicate with parents.

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spiderpig8 · 24/08/2011 19:00

i have found teachers jump to the defensive too, even if you are not criticising them taht is their first thought!

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sunnydelight · 24/08/2011 06:47

Being automatically on the defensive if a parent approaches you makes for a very uneasy relationship. It facinates me that EVERY teacher, including the head of primary and overall school head at our otherwise fantastic school stops making eye contact the SECOND anything other than 100% positive is said. It is great to see a Head support his or her staff, but not to the point of stupidity. If people give feedback in the spirit of giving feedback rather than just moaning, be gracious about it - it is often much easier as a parent to keep your mouth shut and then the head is left wondering why people seem unhappy but nobody is saying anything.

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Katisha · 23/08/2011 18:33

I think there can be a big disconnect between what the head and staff think is going on in school and the impression parents are getting. For example the school's policies may be praised by ofsted and tick all the right boxes, but if parents are getting a different picture, either through experience or grapevine, then you need to improve your communication, not just say "oh well they don't understand..."

For example, you may have some thought-out designed-to-encourage marking policy (talking about older pupils here), but parents just see spelling mistakes uncorrected, or books not marked for weeks on end and get the impression that things are lax.

Communication is key - eg put stuff on the website and direct people to it. Explain stuff.

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munstersmum · 23/08/2011 18:22

Good practice:
Totally agree with those who have said HT in playground at start of day. Ours is & usually surrounded by kids excited to tell her things - but she is available to parents who want a moment.
One fortnightly newsletter with all bits & pieces is plenty.
Office email address openly available.
HT sent out an anon. survey on what areas parents thought could be improved - and then sent out collated responses & action plan within the same term. didn't go forward with everything but made it feel worthwhile not just box ticking.
Termly curriculum summary in advance is useful (mean mummy might buy related Horrible History book as birthday present Grin)

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prettybird · 23/08/2011 18:07

Yes, you can't assume that everyone is on-line. statistics here

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ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs · 23/08/2011 18:05

I have done the survey, although since DD is starting at a new school in two weeks time, I've had to use my experience at her last school.
When I chose her new school, I picked the one who were positive about her overseas life, rather than baldy stating that she wouldn't fit in well because she has never lived in England.
DD spent a day at the school in July, she had the time of her life and can't wait to start.
The staff are all superb. I firmly believe this stems from the HT. My DH is a teacher (and has been a head) and FWIW, I think the whole feel of a school is set by the head.
Good luck.

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TalkinPeace2 · 23/08/2011 18:04

I have just finished with Primary school - Yippee

HT should be in the playground EVERY morning greeting the pupils, enforcing the uniform and encouraging parents to go into the office and book appointments for later - discussing pupil progress in the playground should NEVER be encouraged

Our children may be young learners but many of us are highly qualified professionals - please do not patronise us.

Communication MUST be timely. Very few mums are full SAH - and many of those are the disorganised type with smaller kids. We need time to organise diaries.

Be willing to deal with parents by email / web calendar updates. You teach the children ICT, please use it yourself!

At the end of the day, HT can stay in their office - at the aforementioned meetings - but ALL class teachers (right up to year 6) should come into the playground to greet parents.

If there is a parents assembly / play / event / concert : Turn up, sit down, pay attention.
HT's who scuttle out when my kids are playing should be shot.

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Feenie · 23/08/2011 17:45

Not everyone is online though, spiderpig8.

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spiderpig8 · 23/08/2011 17:42

send letters out by email or post on school website, hard copies get lost.

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prettybird · 22/08/2011 15:55

Our school has a "Meet the Teacher" event very early on in the new year (we've just had our letter home, written by ds, inviting us to it on 7 September, which will be 3 weeks into the new school year). To quote his letter "It starts at 5.30pm and finishes as 7.30 but you don't have to be there for the whole two hours, for example from six o'clock to quarter past six. For meet the teacher you can go to the school hall and find really useful information of what I'm going to do this year."

They've changed from calling it a "curriculum workshop", which was offputting to some parents (even we, as involved parents, felt the need to ring in and ask if it was something we needed to go to, to be told it was about the coming year's curriculum) and in the last couple of years have got the children to write the invitation (the older ones, in their own words).

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usingapseudonym · 22/08/2011 10:00

I'm a teacher and will be going back when my daughter is at school - however I am really sad I will miss her assemblies and similar activities that SAHM can do. Similarly we are in a stay at home area, and of those that work a lot can be flexible - you just cant be as a teacher :(

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CMOTdibbler · 22/08/2011 09:47

I agree with Feenie - also ensure that for any mothers day/fathers day events you have a solid plan in place for what those with an absent/dead/posted overseas parent will do, and know who is likely to be upset by it.
DS's school had a lovel grandparents day last term - a concert, show your gps round school trail, served tea to them etc. But there were no gps to attend for ds and he was quite upset about it. His teacher dealt with the children sensitively, but there wasn't a really fun alternative bit arranged.

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Feenie · 22/08/2011 09:22

6. stay and play days (last one only 5 parents out of 14 stayed)

I would like to pick up that one too - I live in a very SAHM area. I am a full time primary school teacher with a fairly understanding Head, and so made it to ds's Reception class assembly and Nativity last year.

However, I cannot attend stay and play mornings (there is one every half term) and literally every single other parent can. It's horrible to have your 5 year old sobbing on your shoulder the night before because 'I'll be so lonely, Mum!' Events for stay at home parents are very lovely, and I do realise as a teacher that it's nigh on impossible to please everyone here - but I think more care needs to be taken regarding the children whose working parents cannot, and never will be, able to attend. Alternative lovely activities, perhaps?

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Lonnie · 22/08/2011 08:38

good points that we have at our school are:
4. we have mothers day and fathers day lunch
6. stay and play days (last one only 5 parents out of 14 stayed)

I had to pick up on these two. It is wonderful that you feel they are a good and possitive and enjoy them however
For me no 4 is my idea of a nightmare I cant abide stuff like that so I would not attend it. I cant see my dh willing to use up holiday time to attend a fathers day lunch either. Also not everyone celebrate mothers and fathers day ( we do not)

I am perfectly willing to do no 6 but when I had a younger child not of school / preschool age that was not allowed to come along what was I meant to do? most of my friends had children in the same school and all needed to go along to that as well. with dd1 and 2 we regular had comments like that in newsletter but I had no one to babysit my newborn/1-2 year old so was unable to.

I do show for things like sports day (no I wont run in the mothers day race)
Different evening shows they do for leavers and at least 1 of the church invited events. (I am not C of E ) Just find a balance between what is possitive for one parent and what will be possitive for others.

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Lonnie · 22/08/2011 08:27

'you can learn an awful lot more about your school and how it operates if you are willing to put yourself out and get involved.'

Agreed but unfortunatly what you lean is that the HT has no people skills thinks it is acceptable to speak to you as if you are a 7 year old believes it is acceptable to tackle you in front of the school gate about a issue she has not got the full story over - and when told I would not discuss it here SHOUTING after me as I walked off.

That she is generally interested only if it involves to do things her way and the only way you actually get anything done is when you because you were forced into a situation you didnt wish to be a part of (long complex story involves someone blatantly lying during a complaint to the school and HT not dealing witht it welll and the above school gate comment) had to CC in the Chair of Governors.

I was heavilly involved with the PTA in the two previous schools our children attended, involved in the Parrents association in the third school this one was the 4th school our children went to and the current HT the ONLY thing she has going for her is that she does clearly like the children and they do her. She is appaling at commun ication the teachers have clearly had a very down year and her people skills are in minus.

she wont listen to suggestions that always having parent meetings on Wednesday or Fridays afternoons = some parents are unable to attend whom would ... (for example some part timers whom could come on other days)

The PTA will not listen to suggestions that a 7 30 meeting in the local pub on a Thursday night for some means they cant get involved. (PTA ran by 2 of the TA btw)

Result is I have deliberatly pulled back out again I have made it clear I will help with stuff I can do at home but that is all. I am unimpressed by how the school is being run and whilst I do my hardest at home tosupport my childrens learning I do not feel that I wish to be involved with aiding someone whom hasnt got the common decensy to speak to me as an adult to seek my side of a story before she judges or whom belives it is acceptable to send out a letter on her behalf that demands stuff without any plesanties..

This got long but my point is sometimes you will not like what you find and yu will not have a great deal of scope for getting it changed

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blackeyedsusan · 20/08/2011 23:24

time to hand over important messages with parents at the start of the day, especially relevent in nursery and reception.

I have no idea what the new(to school) teacher for dd is like, or what she is going to learn in year one. no idea about how they are going to assess/ do reading this year. school haas not told us what they are expected to know in year one.

no idea about what the school thinks we should be doing at home with dd (got plenty of my own ideas but not everybody has)

not sure where they should line up or what equipment that they need for year one...
and from having talked to the head, he does not seem to be an early years specialist at all.

i do know which children are on stickers/smilies for behaviour though... and i shouldn't. Shock

in a different school, we had an information sheet home every half term with what the foundation stage were going to learn about and what we could do to help them at home.

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mouthwash7 · 20/08/2011 20:25

Things I like:

Headteacher being very visible, chatting to parents.
Advanced warning in writing of any non uniform days, trips etc.
Please don't ask for anything vague - e.g. dress up as a time traveller.
Please don't just give a list of random numbers for an annual report - it's completely meaningless if you don't have the information to refer to with it.
Please tell me how to talk to you if I need to.

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GloriaVanderbilt · 20/08/2011 19:02

'you can learn an awful lot more about your school and how it operates if you are willing to put yourself out and get involved.'

Well yes but for those of us with lousy headteachers the idea of getting involved is terrifying. I offered to be part of a lobby group to address the parking (she had asked for people) and I never heard another peep about it.

She hates me, so I don't get to wield any sort of power if she can help it, even against some other authority.

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justpaddling · 20/08/2011 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

prettybird · 20/08/2011 15:58

....meant to add that it doesn't excuse the lack of response though. That's just plain courtesy.

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HastingsJo · 20/08/2011 15:40

Many Many thanks for sharing all of your thoughts and experiences. I really appreciate it and know it will prove invaluable :o

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prettybird · 20/08/2011 15:10

thejaffacakesareonme : one of the reasons we got so involved with the school was that the first PTA meeting we went to, just after ds started in P1, we were horrified to find out that we are parents probably had more clout than the school Shock

Dh asked the headteacher directly why she was asking us, as the PTA, to write a letter to the council about something, because he assumed the same as you, and she said that no , the council was more likely to listen to the parents.

Being cynical, I suppose it comes down to the fact that parents are voters, whereas teachers, even headteachers are "just" employees. Hmm

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josie2312 · 20/08/2011 09:13

good points that we have at our school are:

  1. weekly news letters every wednesday on bright orange paper
  2. text alerts reminders

3.headmaster is at the gate twice a week for informal chats
  1. we have mothers day and fathers day lunch
  2. parents are always invited to attend bi-monthly pta meetings (unfortunately we do have a lot of drop off and run parents)
  3. stay and play days (last one only 5 parents out of 14 stayed)


to me it seems that a lot of us parents complain about this n that but we are also not prepared to help out most just want to drop the kids off and get home. a lot of parents work i know as i do but i am always willing to help out with anything on days off or holidays.

you can learn an awful lot more about your school and how it operates if you are willing to put yourself out and get involved.
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