Struggle at a Grammar school or maybe manage better at another school with kids who have proved mean to yours in the past...

[TheOriginalFAB]

and not interested in learning?

Grammar school. It has been proved time and time again that even a very 'mediocre' child performs better in a grammar school setting than in a comp.

Get a tutor and send him to the grammar.

DH is seeing some tutors to get him help over the summer.

I don't think you need to agonise too much about the choice. If he / she gets into a grammar, then it's because the school thinks they are plenty good enough.

In any case, kids develop at different rates, and a fresh start, surrounded by other children who are keen on learning might work wonders.

I just feel we have let him down by not helping him sooner and by believing the teacher too much.

Fab, am in a very similar positio. Dd has had two sessions with a tutor and I'm kicking myself for leaving it so late. Am worried it's too late. Have no idea what she's scoring as she's not even done a whole paper yet, we have books but she's not motivated enough to do them. Hence the tutor, she won't give him the run around and tears like she does me so at least I know she's doing some practice.

However at least there is a reasonable comp near us so it's not the end of the world. But if she doesn't go to the grammar I will always worry that I've let her down.

fwiw I know of plenty of kids who scraped into grammar & then flew; there really are late developers (remember there used to be a 13+ admissions process?) & also just being there can work wonders.

Good luck, FAB

DS1 is more like his dad than me and I remember it took a while for reading to click but once it did he was away. His sister is more like me and was reading at 2 and would pass the 11+ now at 7.

My DS was getting 90%-95% in practice papers but didn't score high enough on the 11+ to get a place (he came at 355 out of 3000, places were offered to the top 350) and went to the local comprehensive. He has just finished year 7 and got 6A in maths, science, reading and writing. I'd say he wouldn't have done any better at the grammar school TBH.

There's no point hand wringing about what you should have done. You have time. If you have the cash, get a good tutor in over the summer holidays. Is he young in his year group? Scores are weighted on age.

Yes, he is towards the younger end.

Excellent. So get him regular tuition over the holidays. After a few sessions talk to the tutor. Ask them what they think. A child tutored for longer would see a tutor weekly. Your DS may see the tutor 3 times a week. It's different not worse. It may be that your DS can't get the marks to go to the Grammar school, but 40ish% to 80ish% is such a wild variation that it suggests an issue with attention/approach. He deserves a chance to show what he is capable of.