Phone rules

[bizzybeing]

DS1 is in Year 6 and we are starting to look at getting him a phone. We'll probably get an old reconditioned iPhone as we both have iPhones so have some idea how to use them but we're not particularly tech savvy.

We will definitely put some limits on his use of the phone but I'm not sure what. What rules and restrictions do other people use and at what point did you or do you plan to relax them?

[CadyEastman]

We set them up with a child account so that all apps had to be requested. We went with the age restrictions on the apps and we made sure that they didn't have their phones in their rooms overnight.

They started off with the cheapest of phones on the understanding that if they looked after it, after a year they'd get an upgrade. We did this as so many of their friends had been given expensive phones which they'd either list or damaged. It seemed to work too

[TeenDivided]

You can check phone as and when.
No adding contact details of people they don't know in real life.
Not used at meals or other family time.
Not in bedroom after 'going up for bed' time.
Charged downstairs.
No posting photos of others without their permission (actually nowhere to pot such photos either at 11).

[bizzybeing]

Those are all great ideas. Thank you!

[DaffodilCharm]

If you are allowing whatsapp, no joining whole class group chats and no joining group chats with people they don't know. I'd potentially relax the class group chat for secondary, depending on the tone of the chat. They can just be a constant stream of "what's the homework, does Miss have our books?" But they can also be a bin fire that you don't want your child participating in. Absolutely no joining a whole year group chat, there is no benefit to it.

We had the phone checking rule initially. We now reserve the right to check group chats only, but rarely do because they so dull and I trust her now to talk to us if there are issues. We also don't allow phones after 9pm and they stay downstairs over night.

[Oblomov23]

Depends on the child. You deal with what you have. If you have a child that needs monitoring and doesn't know what your expectations are, surely you should also be addressing that at source?

We gave both ds's old i-phones, and they've never been lost, broken screens, nothing. I've never tracked them, looked at them, checked chats, set limits. Because they both just know. Know that I don't mind what apps or chats they go on, but I don't expect any nonsense. We've never had any problems, neither of them seen any bullying or nastiness. Or rather, once, a tiny minor bit - ds2 said, it all got a bit nasty so I just left. That's what I expect. But tbf both of mine are very secure in themselves, so I wouldn't have expected anything else. They both casually chat about things round the dinner table and tell me what's going on with friends and any groups online, any parties, or minor problems with any groups / chats online, so I do know most/some of what's going on. Most parents on mn, and RL are much more proactive and monitoring that me, do I do accept that I'm more relaxed than most.

But I disagree with pp about denying chats, most of does indeed seem to be : which week is it, does teacher have out geography books!