Therian

[Jellybellyniki]

Has anyone heard of this term?
it’s supposedly a reference to identifying as an animal or enjoy dressing and acting like one according to my almost 12 year old.
Well she is suddenly into this phase after watching videos on tik tok and I’m quite concerned about the obsession she now has over it.
for the past 3 months she spends the majority of her days making animal costumes to wear around the house while making the sounds of the animal. Each week will be a different animal. Admittedly at times I have snapped and told her to stop being silly. I guess I’m concerned she will be bullied for it as she begins secondary school next week.
her primary school queried if she may be autistic before this phase appeared, but I had no support from anyone and my gp wouldn’t refer as in their words it would take until adulthood to diagnosis! I do wonder if there is a connection.
ive Never heard of this before or where to even begin working out what to do. She keeps it secret at home, doesn’t do it in public and hides it from extended family by choice.
do I let her carry on and hope it fades out eventually? My husband thinks it could be the start of a mental health issue but I don’t want to assume this at a young age.
any advice would be appreciated.

[Jellybellyniki]

To add I’m generally supportive and tell her the costumes look great etc, as I don’t want to outwardly express how annoying and concerning it is, but deep down I’m fed up with it taking over the house, I feel like I may have enabled it?

[MajesticWhine]

I haven't heard of it but I've heard of furries. It sounds a bit like that.
It sounds a bit more like an autistic special interest than it does a mental illness. But that depends - does she have any delusional beliefs eg thinks she is an animal?
Does she have friends? Do any other more mainstream activities?
I assume she is aware this is not something that is likely to be an accepted past time at school? So she might keep it as something she does at home.
I wouldn't accept being fobbed off by your GP about autism - I don't think the fact that it takes a long time is a good enough reason to not pursue a diagnosis. If she does have ASD it may well become apparent in secondary.

[Jellycats4life]

Get her off Tiktok. There are all sorts of bizarre/disturbing trends that kids are being groomed to adopt, and none of them are innocent or wholesome.

I’ve never heard of the term “therian” but it sounds similar to “furry” or “otherkin” culture. Furries are degenerates (it’s generally considered a sexual fetish) and otherkin generally come across as mentally unwell.

Get your child as far away from this stuff as possible, especially if you believe she could be autistic. Autistic kids can be so easily lead. Run.

[Jellybellyniki]

Thank you both, I wasn’t aware there were sexual connections to it so I appreciate the eye opener.
I check her Tik tok daily and it’s restricted, as far as I can see it’s innocent videos where other children like to dress as animals too, but I’m still not happy to encourage it.
she knows she isn’t an animal and treats it like fun, but it does tend to take up the majority of her days unless she spends time with her siblings, on her game console, outside on her bike etc. it’s like a hobby except it’s an extreme one, she gets bored and lonely easily which may contribute.
if I forbid it or took away her costumes and related accessories she’d be devastated so I don’t know how to kindly put a stop to it.

[oneinamillieon]

i wouldnt worry too much. tell her to keep that kind of behaviour at home if you're worried about bullying. it's likely a harmless phase, hobby, or special interest considering her age

[Flyhigher]

Ban TikTok if you can. It's evil. And a huge time waste. It rots brains.

[Fynn18]

As a therian I want to explain the term a bit better and give you some help,
a therian is someone who identifies as an animal on a non physical level due to involuntary animalistic events, you cannot choose to be one, running around on all fours and dressing up has nothing to do with therianthropy,
it sounds like you’re child doesn’t fully understand the term and is just testing the waters with different identities, the best way to go about to this is make sure they understand the identity therianthropy fully and just be supportive, not being supportive or telling them their belief is wrong or silly can lead to some serious mental health issues (aka depression and suicidal thoughts)
i would know because of the amount of times I’ve been hated on by the people I love and care about.
i also want to add that therianthropy has nothing to do with the furry community, neither is it sexual in any way. I’ve seen other replies saying that the furry community is a fetish related sexual community but it’s not, it’s a community based on showing love for anthropomorphic animals (animals with human features like walking on two legs and speaking human) so it’s basically showing love for characters like Micky mouse! Some furries may even make their own animal characters like Micky mouse.

[Tbobomb]

Just wondering if this is ongoing or has subsided since starting secondary?

Sounds so similar to my child. I'm hoping it's a passing obsession like all the other discarded interests but I know she's told some friends who are also interested. I just don't want her to be a target for bullies as she's so trusting and vulnerable.

I'm definitely considering blocking tik tok on her phone as she has started to post hints about it with mask filters on despite promising it was just for her. It feels performative but she's so deeply obsessed I can't reach her rn.

I've seen so many groomery sounding posts saying "your parents won't understand, we're your real family", to me that is red flag central and I want her nowhere near it.

[Setyoufree]

Bumping this as my pre teen has just started this nonsense too. Seems to have got it from YouTube, complete with "coming out" speech. No idea how to deal with it.....

[PaperBauble]

I’ve had this too. It seems like the current ’special group’ to be a part of but agree the language around it is disturbing. Very combative, eg that parents might not support you so prepare for rejection of your true self and so on.

[PaperBauble]

And yes. It came from YouTube here too but it’s everywhere, so be careful what apps and games you let them use.

[Anyat2024]

I’m new here and found this thread after my child told me about this. I had never heard of it and to begin with gave it not much thought and then saw some of the videos on YouTube and became extremely unnerved. It definitely looks like it’s a craze that has come about with a lot of miss information going around. How do you get through to them without having them close off and never telling you about anything? This is my struggle at the moment.

[PaperBauble]

It’s hard. It seems as though lots of interests like this that we might have once called just elements of a personality, have now become very defined online ‘communities’. They appear to have strict rules and involve lots of policing (you’re either in or out, supporter or hater) and require unwavering support from your friends and family. That to me is worrying as if becomes cult like. It doesn’t take long to find some very unpleasant characters online who are clearly keen on exploiting vulnerable young people and causing division in families.

Ive tried to talk to my DC about similar beliefs to this animal identity, being very common across cultures and religions. Buddhism and reincarnation, Native American spirit animals and shamans. Non of it is new, or exclusive to some new online ideology.

Ive also noticed there’s a push to buy gear, including animal costumes and masks. That’s just a no from me entirely. Not happening. But keep communicating and use the opportunity to get them questioning it all.

[Windthebloodybobbinup]

Hi
This has also happened with my 10 year old and she has not got TikTok- it is also all over YouTube. I also got the sense that she had read/heard that parents are not supportive and so was telling me as a bit of a test as to how I would react.
The therian part of it seems to be something of nothing- mainly about dressing up and taking photos/videos of running around.Feels to me like the first steps towards finding a peer community- a bit like we would define ourselves as ravers/goths/indie kids in my day!? Maybe I'm being a bit too relaxed about it, but as I have completely accepted her desire to wear tails etc when at home it think it will lose its attraction as there is nothing to rebel against. I think of it more like a testing ground in our relationship- can I support and respect a choice she's made even if I find it bizarre as long as it doesn't hurt her or others? This is probably the first of many 'tests' I imagine!!

[Setyoufree]

I am extremely unnerved by it all. I've had a dig through YouTube history, she's looking at all sorts of videos re. how your parents won't be supportive. Commenting everywhere about how her parents aren't supportive. She's got a YouTube channel that I thought she was just using to save videos of her making masks which I was fine with, given it's in the kids area and commenting is banned. She's been commenting on others instead and driving traffic to her channel.

I'm worried she's going to get herself isolated at school. No problem with the masks, big problem with the putting a label on herself and the potential to mark herself out as odd.

No idea how to handle it. If I just tell her it's absolutely ridiculous and people are going to think she's weird, I'm just doing what the people in her phone said would happen and just drive more secrecy. If I ignore it, is it actually going to go away though? She's a smart 12 year old. Wish she could become obsessed with something that's less cult like.

[Burratorchildhood]

My daughter is 11 has an autism diagnosis and is interested In Therianthropy. I was really worried about it at first but I am more relaxed now. I see it as part of her autism - she finds cats more interesting than people! Also I think sometimes the thought of being a cat is better than being a human and trying to manage all the nuances of human social communication E.g it’s more straightforward. I genuinely think this is probably quite a common thing with autistic girls.

[Mummaclu]

Hi there, I've just found out my daughter identifies as a therian overnight.
She has received this information from YouTube.
Everywhere tells me to be supportive, but I am shaken to my core about what lies ahead for my girl. What do we do?

[PaperBauble]

I’m less worried about the role playing as an animal, which is after all just normal playing for a child. Especially those who might find socializing harder than most.

Much more concerned that this appears to have been grabbed by some people online as a specific community who seem extremely confrontational. There will always be unsavory types online (and everywhere) of course but the instant jump to telling kids that they will be bullied by their parents, so then need their online friends, is a massive red flag to me. Any adult trying to make contact with kids and isolate them is going to head straight over and join in.
Im sincerely hoping it’s just a phase but in the meantime im making sure to follow DC’s online activities. Also focusing on real life hobbies and other things she likes doing.

[kinkalli]

There was a girl in my DD's school (Y8), who was coming to school dressed as a cat for about half year. Then she came out of that phase and now is 'normal'- according to my DD.
What is your DD doing on TikTok at this tender age, anyway?

[Burratorchildhood]

My daughter loves the Warrior Cats book series and has some friends via you tube who she chats with and they discuss warrior cats and being therian. She doesn’t access tik tok. I was more worried about it last year when I first came across it, but now I see it the same way as some cultures might identify as having a ‘spirit animal’ or identity. I think there probably are issues online but I haven’t come across this with my daughter as I am mega careful who she talks to and what is being said (I monitor everything). I am also very careful not to shut it down as I don’t want her to hide things from me.

[LunaLovegoodsLeftEyebrow]

Jesus H Christ

Get your kids off social media and parent them.

[Burratorchildhood]

This happened to me too - I think just be open and accepting for now and try to find out where it’s coming from. With autism it’s relatively common esp. in girls. I also think that it can be a mask for anxiety with social communication but that’s me thinking about my daughter and her autism.

[Burratorchildhood]

LunaLovegoodsLeftEyebrow do you have an autistic child? I’d be interested to know how much knowledge you have in this area.