Does anyone’s child NOT socialise online?

[Lou153Lou]

I don’t like the idea of my children being online.

I started prioritising gaming online with friends when I was about 17 and that was the end of any academic ambition that I had.

The thing is that I am becoming more and more aware of other children at school playing together online and I know how bonding it can be.

I am starting to worry that my children are at risk of becoming irrelevant in social groups at school because they don’t have an online presence.

At the same time I’m thinking how ridiculously codependent it is for my children to spend all day stuck at school with a group of friends and then come home to be stuck online with them.

Has anyone been resolute in not letting their children online and seen any effect on their peer relationships?

[MyBiscuitspread]

Really worried about this too. Hope someone has helpful advice...

[MintJulia]

My ds doesn't socialise online. He's 14. He likes Minecraft etc and his peer group tend to play more aggressive games, so he does his own thing. He spends hours laughing at youtube videos and seems happy. He gets on fine with his class mates, has activities away from the computer but doesn't have a particular close friend although that may be distance, we live 20 miles from school.

[lljkk]

my children to spend all day stuck at school with a group of friends and then come home to be stuck online with them.

Stuck? Coz in small towns no one in 1950 wasn't stuck with same kids on their road, stuck with same kids in school ,stuck with same kids to play out with, stuck with same kids to grow up and live on same road with and go to work with. #disingenuous

You're not making sense. If online world means anything different it's that people now are far less stuck with their local community than they were in past.

Like PP I have a teen who games online with strangers & doesn't use Insta or Facebook even with his RL friends. He'll do a little WhatsApp to organise things like DoE.

[demotedreally]

My dd is only 10 but has no time online. She sends SMS to some friends occasionally and that's all

[Kite22]

How old ?

None of mine did as either children or younger teens.
ds does now, as an adult, with his friends (as opposed to with strangers which I believe some people do).
But they were out and about doing things with Cubs , Scouts, football, drama, swimming etc, so mixing with lots of different people in life.

[GiantTortoise]

My DS1 was the last in his class to get a gaming console (I know all kids say that, but he was 13 so it may have been true) and I do worry that it may have affected his friendships. With hindsight we probably should have done it sooner, but we were staying in temporary accommodation at the time and didn't have a lot of space.

[Legobaby]

I need advice on this too - my 10 year old is feeling left out, I am terrified of her getting as dependent on her phone as I am on mine but don’t want her to be missing out on friendship groups either.

[AM786]

Our 10 and 14 DD's don't have online social media. (Or not that I've discovered yet). I've only just given my 14y DD a phone for coming from school (Google maps tracking) but she can't install apps without my online approval through family link. She does use hangouts chat every now and again.

We are fortunate that most of the parents don't allow it and our school don't allow phones in school.

In my opinion, it's better to be left out than to have all that online rubbish to deal with. Be strong and stay firm.

Perhaps join them to a karate club or do some outdoor activities to keep them active and busy.

[Pinkflipflop85]

@AM786

Our 10 and 14 DD's don't have online social media. (Or not that I've discovered yet). I've only just given my 14y DD a phone for coming from school (Google maps tracking) but she can't install apps without my online approval through family link. She does use hangouts chat every now and again.

We are fortunate that most of the parents don't allow it and our school don't allow phones in school.

In my opinion, it's better to be left out than to have all that online rubbish to deal with. Be strong and stay firm.

Perhaps join them to a karate club or do some outdoor activities to keep them active and busy.

Ah - is this the same daughter who is googling sex because you've sheltered her and she can't come to you.

That worked out well didn't it 🙄

[Quornflakegirl]

My girls are 10 and haven’t played online games, they have no interest in them thankfully.

[AM786]

If you read the post, that's happening at school! Not at home.

[FatGirlSwim]

Yes but it’s happening because you don’t have mutual trust and an open dialogue?

[FatGirlSwim]

OP, that isn’t what codependent means!

[Clarty81]

Iv always chose Reality living to raise my daughter she's 11 now I had her at 30 so iv always done things without all the technology, iv completed computer programming before that so I think it's helped massively to realise very quickly that regardless of what you want to do as a parent when your kids start high school,
Your told your child Has to have a phone even though they have them in school they are not allowed to use or been seen with them or they take them off til the end of the day as well as give detentions half hour long
When looking online for what your kids supposed to use or 'work' it's jus nonsense
Not only that I truely believe if parents look into these things it's Highly likely you wil look a little deeper & realise it's not the parents fault wen kids start treating us as the problem
IT'S TAUGHT TO THEM
If your kids School changed to Academy
Your child is not being taught through state or tax funding meaning us. Instead it's individual organisations that pay into that academy that choose what's taught
That's jus very big piece that starts the ball rolling
& within the dark DEI (Diversity, Equality & Inclusion
They're teaching CRT Critical Race Theory
Iv removed my child but continue to be harassed by state people all pushing this agenda