Unsporty 10 year old daughter

[BlueStargazer]

Hi just after some advice. My 10 year old daughter has never been sporty or particularly competitive. She's tried various sports including tennis lessons for a year which she never got to a good standard in (i.e got close in terms of ability to other kids). It put her off completely not being able to keep up. She gave that up in autumn to try netball, which she says she enjoys and the social side of it seems to be a real positive for her. She's in a team of new players so none are great at this stage, but I can already see that they are improving faster than she is and I've noticed a couple of them are getting frustrated with my daughter. She's not great at catching a ball (coordination has never been great) but that has improved slightly. I know she'll never be an amazing sportswoman, which is fine, and we can work on catching. She can be quite dopey and doesn't seem to be able to keep her concentration and focus on the game. She's been playing netball 3 months. I'm just worried that the others will keep improving at a faster rate and the gap will widen. Just looking for any similar experiences which might help me guide her.

[BlueStargazer]

@Saxineno yes this was my daughter too after a few years of gymnastics, all the younger children were cartwheeling and there's no way she could keep up, so she wanted to give up after initially loving it. I think having a trampoline has helped my DD's coordination and agility so could help your DD. I don't really know much about dyspraxia but my DD doesn't have any problems writing, can play a guitar etc so I think she is just lanky and a bit poorly coordinated like her dad, but that's an uneducated guess!). Good luck to your DD, maybe look at some of the great suggestions other people have made in this post for more sociable activities she may be able to do that don't require amazing coordination x

[Saxineno]

She sounds just like my dyspraxic daughter who is 10. 5 years of dance and gymnastics lessons and she was still in with the beginners. She didn't care when she was younger, but as she got older it irked and irked her more that she was with kids so much younger than her.
My husband takes her running, it doesn't take much coordination and keeps her fit. I don't think she likes it much, she prefers more social sports, but at the moment is enjoying the dad attention and the new running shoes he got her.
Her dyspraxia referal was useless, they suggested her using a ball instead of a chair so she can get to control her body and know her own belance better but that was all.

[Ihaventgottimeforthis]

Good for her OP.
I watched my DD's first netball game this week - they were rubbish and got thrashed but they all loved it!! It really is the taking part that matters.

[BlueStargazer]

Thanks all for all of your messages. Lots of great suggestions. I've spoken to DD and she wants to keep doing netball for the time being. She's interested in trying out water sports and a couple of other things if netball doesn't work out so thanks for the ideas. We'll see how it goes. She's been practicing with a ball and had a much improved game this week and she was really pleased with herself x

[BlueStargazer]

Why do you think it suits me not her Wearywithteens? Have you even read the post? She enjoys it and likes the social side. Maybe take your judgment somewhere else.

[BlueStargazer]

Why do you think it suits me not her Wearywithteens? Have you even read the post? She enjoys it and likes the social side. Maybe take your judgment somewhere else.

[reluctantbrit]

@wearywithteens - any kind of sport is good for the body. A lot of girls don't like it because they think they don't look "cool" or "trendy" or it ruins hair and make up unfortunately.

Most people will stop with physical activity far too early, encouraging one activity is not wrong. There are tons of them out there, most people do find one they like.

[reluctantbrit]

DD was awful in all kind of group ball sport topics in primary school. In secondary she was put in PE sets and suddenly it clicked. She was with peers, could develop without pressure of the really good ones and started enjoying it.

She will never be big in sports like Netball, Hockey, Badminton or similar but it gave her lots more confidence.

She enjoys more solidary sports, musical dance, horse riding, gym classes like pilates and yoga.

Maybe try to find something she is not competing with others and see if she likes being active. Maybe she has more interest later in secondary., if not, at least she will enjoy an active lifestyle.

[averythinline]

Ball skills are not for all!
Dh couldn't catch for love nor money but rowing was a team thing that was a passion but can be very competitive... through rowing got into yoga ... and cycling.. though not a MAMIL
My bookish niece got into swimming and athletics..
DC one loves cricket although fields in cow corner as can't catch but good bowler other badminton.. both like the bits of gym they've done

[troppibambini]

My dd isn't sporty.

I cannot recommend getting her into a martial art enough. Dd started when she was five she's now 14 and got her black belt at 13 she's now done a junior coaching course and now helps out teaching the younger ones.
It's brilliant for self esteem, keeping fit and improving focus and concentration and obviously an excellent form of self defence.

Just make sure you go to a good one that's been recommended stay well away from any that will give a black belt in under around 7 years or want a lot of money up front.

[halcyondays]

Badminton is a lot easier than tennis, tennis is really hard if you’re coordination isn’t great.

[Ihaventgottimeforthis]

I'd say for hand-eye co-ordination, practising with a tennis ball (does anyone remember playing Down On One Knee?) would be really good - it really is something that gets better with practice. Either on her own against a wall, or together.
Then I'd also look up a junior parkrun near you - only 2km but there's social & volunteering opportunities there too.

[INeedNewShoes]

If she is enjoying netball, I'd get out in the garden with her and do lots of ball skills practice. She can enjoy shooting hoops on her own but for practising throwing/catching I think it would soon get lonely/boring against a wall. I'd try really investing time/energy into this as the fact she wants to do netball in the first place is a massive win.

I wasn't sporty at school due firstly to asthma and then, following on from that, being overweight. Its a shame because I used to enjoy playing football and netball but just couldn't keep up. As an adult I'm now a keen walker and cyclist (well I was until I had a baby who restricts the activities rather!) and relatively fit and healthy.

[twosoups1972]

My 3 dds don't enjoy competitive sports but they are all keen dancers. It's a rule in this house that they all have to do an active extra curricular activity outside of school for general health and fitness.

My middle dd also does Thai boxing which she loves.

Is she enjoying netball in spite of finding it hard? If she enjoys it, I would encourage her to keep it up. I think it's good for them to realise you don't have to be brilliant at a sport or activity to enjoy it. Maybe find a different club where they have a wider ability range?

[BlueChampagne]

DS1 is non-sporty, but he is currently enjoying rookie lifeguarding.

[drspouse]

My DD1 with dyspraxia loved ice skating
Oddly my DS who scored at the dyspraxia level on his motor tests (haven't officially had the diagnosis yet) is also really good at ice skating for his age.

[FaFoutis]

Why do you feel that she needs to do sport?

[lumpy76]

How about horse riding - my very non sporty 18yr old loved horse riding (until a knee injury put an end to it...hasten it was not a riding injury)? Or one of the martial arts - I have A 10yr old daughter who loves her karate and it's done wonders for her co ordination and balance and her confidence!! Or maybe do more rambling with her at the weekends if she enjoys walking? Not everyone is sporty and competitive- that's ok!!

[randomsabreuse]

Maybe fencing. It's tactical as much as physical and I was seriously hopeless at anything involving catching, throwing or racquets. Got to top 10 in the UK and stayed there for a few years - and I started in my late teens.

[reefedsail]

My son is rubbish at ball sports. He sails and is showing a lot of promise at that and really loves it. Join the Topper tribe!

[Gogolego]

I was / still am totally hate sport. But I do like swimming. Perhaps look at local swim clubs

I know it's not sporty per se but they do loads of activities and that's scouts/ guides

[Craftycorvid]

I cheerfully despise all known forms of sport (and always have done). As long as your DD is happy and physically active, it’s all good. It’s such a pity she can’t be in a team that just enjoys the game for its own sake, but that just isn’t part of the deal with competitive sports like netball. Anything that helps her a bit with hand/eye coordination is going to be useful longer term. I’m a bit spatially challenged to this day - doesn’t stop me running and hiking though.

[Mandarinfish]

How about cubs - great for the active and social side.

[Focalpoint]

Golf?