12 year old DD worrying & crying

[Dalamane]

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Today 00:01Dalamane

DD has had some uncomfortable & confrontational times at school since September, the usual mix of unruly kids who disrupt lessons and make others' lives as unbearable as they can - gossiping & making stories up, ganging up on people and basically being the horrid kids from hell. DD is having problems dealing with it all, and whilst before Xmas she'd be angry about it and a bit upset at times, she's now a quivering wreck who doesn't want to go to school and cries all the time when she's at home. She ended a friendship just before Xmas cos the girl in question told her endless lies, and a few times DD lost her temper with her but she also spent considerable time trying to help this friend and point her in the right direction. We've had a month where this ex friend has appeared everywhere DD goes at school and has said various things to her both indirectly and directly, and in text messages/via snapchat - quite pathetic really - and DD has stayed silent but livid inside. I'm so worried about her, she says her head is full of negative thoughts and she's remembering all bad stuff that 'could have' happened but didn't - she can't switch off & says she doesn't know how or what to do anymore. Her closest friend is on holiday and her other friend doesn't give 2 hoots about anything/just keeps her head down.

We chat every evening but I don't know what to do, we swim 3 times a week, is this a GP issue?any help advice gratefully received x

[Dalamane]

If you have used any links in your post, they should be working correctly in this preview. You can revise

DD has had some uncomfortable & confrontational times at school since September, the usual mix of unruly kids who disrupt lessons and make others' lives as unbearable as they can - gossiping & making stories up, ganging up on people and basically being the horrid kids from hell. DD is having problems dealing with it all, and whilst before Xmas she'd be angry about it and a bit upset at times, she's now a quivering wreck who doesn't want to go to school and cries all the time when she's at home. She ended a friendship just before Xmas cos the girl in question told her endless lies, and a few times DD lost her temper with her but she also spent considerable time trying to help this friend and point her in the right direction. We've had a month where this ex friend has appeared everywhere DD goes at school and has said various things to her both indirectly and directly, and in text messages/via snapchat - quite pathetic really - and DD has stayed silent but livid inside. I'm so worried about her, she says her head is full of negative thoughts and she's remembering all bad stuff that 'could have' happened but didn't - she can't switch off & says she doesn't know how or what to do anymore. Her closest friend is on holiday and her other friend doesn't give 2 hoots about anything/just keeps her head down.

We chat every evening but I don't know what to do, any help advice gratefully received x

[Dalamane]

Sorry i messed the post up i'm a newbie 🤔

[SwinginFromTheChandelier]

Have you spoken to the school?

[Dalamane]

Yes I spoke to receptionist yesterday, she took details and said Safeguarding would ring me. They rang this morning so I told them about issues at school and how dd is feeling as a result - gave them a few names of troublesome pupils and explained what was happening. Theyre going to email relevant teachers of issues but tell them that they are not to discuss with dd and to keep an eye on her in class. Offered counselling but there's a waiting list. She said to see GP re hormonal aspect & get her checked over.

Last night she had a panic attack/ crying/ inconsolable & this morning again not wanting to go to school but she went. It's awful to see her like this x

[SwinginFromTheChandelier]

At this point you have done all you an. Hopefully the school deals with it appropriately and nips it in the bud.

Continue to listen to your DD and get on the schools back each and every time any mention of continued harassment/bullying. If her mental state is still as fragile at half term take her for a chat at the GP and they will point you both in the direction.

Hope your DD gets her spark back, kids are so damn cruel at times x

[Dalamane]

Thank you for your support, we have a doctors appointment this afternoon as I can't let this continue unmonitored x

[MrsPatmore]

Make an appt asap with the school, be demanding about the measures that need to be put in place now. Look into other schools?

[Dalamane]

Doctor says it's anxiety, dd spoke really calmly and clearly and i encouraged her to describe how she feels and what she's thinking. GP was really understanding and covered everything - self help, breathing techniques, counselling, periods, pmt, emotions, safeguarding and for me how to support her through it - reassurance, patience and talking her through the tough times.

I will be keeping a very close eye on the school situation and will be straight on the phone to make an appointment to go in if things continue x

[blahblahblah2000]

Is there a particular teacher at school that your daughter comfortable with? My daughter had issues with girls bullying her ( a large group and spread over the whole year grade) and she had a very friendly and sensible teacher that allowed her to leave the playground or classroom anytime to see her and chat when she was feeling upset.

I also discussed texting / apps with my daughter and we blocked the bullies on FaceTime / messaging. I don’t allow Snapchat/musical.ly/ instagram/ Sarahah as too open to bullying

We practicing phrases to assert herself if they said nasty things and talked about where in the school she could go at recess / lunch if they were harassing her.

I specifically had meeting with daughters teacher and head of year so they knew how upset my daughter was.

Good luck it’s so stressful, your poor daughter