hair removal for pre-teen girls

[oseejay]

My 9 year old daughter is very self-conscious about the hair on her legs and arms. She may have slightly more hair than other girls, I wouldn't say she was abnormally hairy or anything, but her hair is dark which makes it really noticeable. The last couple of years she's felt really aware of it, I think some comments were made at school. She now goes right through the summer with full length leggings, socks and trainers, and won't take her cardigan off at school. She will no longer wear skirts/shorts or short-sleeve tops.

I've tried supporting her through this, and until now have been trying to find a way for her to learn to accept herself as she is. But I am now feeling it's time to think about teaching her to remove the hair so she can feel comfortable and confident (and stop over-heating!).

I don't think she'd cope with waxing (she squeals just taking off a plaster!). Are hair-removal creams safe for girls so young? I'm not sure what is in them and whether it's good for young skin. Is there a cream that is gentler and doesn't have the very strong chemicals in?

Otherwise it's shaving. If she starts before she even hits puberty, will it affect hair growth later on? (maybe kickstart extra hair growth or something?). Sorry, sounds daft, but I worry about it!

Any advice much appreciated!

[tumpymummy]

I am a hairy chimp too and have unfortunately passed my hursuitness on to DD. I have been plucking her monobrow since she was probably about 8 years old because she didn't like it. I know she was young but I figured she was going to do it herself as some stage anyway, better to shape it properly myself and avoid any comments at school. She got self conscious about her legs around Year 4 or 5 but we agreed that it would be weird to do anything because everyone would notice if one day she was hairy, the next day she was not, and I really didn't want her to start the cycle of having to remove hair at such an early age. So we agreed that we would start when she transferred to secondary school. We use an epilator which did hurt her at first but it does mean that the hair grows back so slowly that she now only has to do it approx. once a month. I gave her the option of creams, but she has excema so we were worried the chemicals would make it worse. I know all these girls seem young for hair removal but my feeling was why put them through years of feeling uncomfortable when they will start at some stage anyway. I just remember how awkward I felt as a child and I didn't want my daughter to have to go through that too.

[4happyhours]

Having similar issues with my 11yo DD and her 'monobrow' as it's been called by some lovely boys who are her 'friends' - banter, eh? One of them actually started calling her 'pussy' because of it. And he actually knew what it meant ... not one of her friends, I hasten to add ... They still tell her which of them 'love' her too as I check her instagram messages every now and then (she knows I do). This was at her last school ... we've now moved, and there are far more girls to go round so she mixes more with girls, who actually seem kinder ... however, she 'hates' her eyebrow (as she calls it - she refuses to acknowledge that there are two as they join in the middle) and she just wants that middle bit removed. - to wax or to pluck, do you think? I will take her somewhere to have it done ...

[Dotty342kids]

My 10yr old DD is mixed race Asian British so is fairly covered in dark hair, bless her! A complete contrast to me, so hard to know how to support her with it.
She's been having her legs waxed for about 7-8 months now, every five weeks as she didn't like the hairiness of them and it seemed the best solution really.
She shaves under her arms occasionally, but doesn't seem so fussed about this - presumably as it's not so obvious to others.
Weirdly though, she flatly refuses to do anything about her very obvious moustache! Despite having had some teasing about this, she will not allow me to do anything to remove it. We tried facial hair removal cream a couple of times and it worked fine but she didn't like the stinging sensation. She won't entertain the thought of waxing or threading it. I'm partly proud of her for being so un self conscious about it, but the other bit of me really hates it and wants to remove it! Terrible mother I know

[Vernonon]

We used veer when dd was 9. She was happy then someone commented that her legs looked weird devoid of hair so she stopped. She's at secondary and just shaved for the first time.

Dd2 hates the hair on her arms but I'm uncertain about that - it's blonde and not excessive though a bit more than the norm. She's been talking about it since 7 (dd1 started at 6). It's a bit sad.

[dementedpixie]

Dd is 11 and has shaved her legs and pits a few times as she was self conscious about them

[WhoreGasm]

DD became conscious about her hairy legs when she was in Yr 5. Luckily she is fair haired but the hairs were quite thick and I suspect comments were made at school?

Overnight she stopped wearing shorts and skirts. We discussed it and we decided to use Immaac which worked a treat. I know in an ideal world she would have a towering self esteem which would allow her to thumb her nose at the world and flaunt her hairy legs with panache.

But in the real world she was a 10 year girl with an upsetting problem that a £2 tube of cream solved in 10 minutes. And as we both live in the real world I bought her the cream.

[Liska]

Thanks for this thread! I just came on to search for advice for dd, who is only 8! She has very obvious, very dark hair on her legs, due to her dad's Meditteranean(sp?) heritage, and she's beginning to be self conscious. Not helped by mil commenting during the summer holidays that it was 'long enough to plait' (along with loudly pointing out her beginning breast development, and telling her that she was too old to sleep with a teddy). This thread has helped me realise that discussing it properly is the way forward: hopefully I can hold off the Veet until next summer. It's such a shocker, though - my development was so much later!!

[justanaveragegirl]

Went shopping with my DD (11yr) and she chose a Sensitive Skin Veet hair removal cream with a sponge. Hopefully it will work well and she can stop feeling self-conscious (although her leg hair is so fine you can hardly see it but it is how she feels). She said she is a bit scared to use a razor and personally for her age, I think cream is the first step.

Kids are growing up so early and quick these days or am I behind the times [shocked]

[cariadlet]

dd is 12 and has been going on about her hairy legs for months and months. She has fine, light hairs that don't even show unless you peer closely at her legs. But it bothers her so I gave in and bought her some hair removal cream.
I'd rather that she was happy with the way that she looks naturally, but she was so pleased with the effect that I think it was the right thing to do. She kept stroking her legs, saying how smooth they felt.

I wasn't so impressed with the state that the bathroom towel was left in. They look permanently stained where she must have wiped off excess cream with the towel instead of the scraper.

[JimblyBob]

Be careful with the hair removal mitts. I used them when I was about 12-13, on my arms for some reason (I'm not particularly hairy) I basically sanded all the skin off my arms. They were glowing red, hugely sore, and faintly weeping all over. Smooth? Yes. Attractive? Not so much, especially when it went all scabby.

I should add I do have very sensitive skin, but still, maybe supervise their use. Advise them to stop before they hit bone.

[princesspink7404]

NinjaBriefs your post echoes mine on another thread.

My DD is 11 and expressed that her legs are really hairy. They are fine and blonde and you can hardly see them, and tbh I told her not to worry too much for time being as I thought too young to remove. I was told on another board I was being cruel!

Whilst I don't think I was being cruel (hair grows back darker and I did not want her stressing about that), I have now decided to get her some cream as she has mentioned again. We are going shopping together to find something suitable especially as she suffers from eczema on her knees so we need to be careful what she uses.

[Rachie1986]

I was that child.. I'm so glad you're helping her.

My arms are really hairy and I bleach them (boots own and Jolen are both brilliant).. I was always told not to do hair removal on arms because regrowth is awful. Luckily my face isn't too bad, mainly arms and legs.

[NinjaBriefs]

My ds, my dd !!!!

[NinjaBriefs]

I'm glad I've come across this thread... My ds is 10 & just recently she has been asking me how noticeable the hair on her legs are - she can see them, but I don't really think they are that obvious, depending what light of day it is, iuswim? She has a lovely deep tan skin tone & the hairs on her legs are fine & fair. In some lights I can really see them but in another I can't. But it's not about me, it's about how dd feels. I've not got an idea where to start - what would be the gentlest way forward if she wants to start shaving? Or waxing? or if indeed to wait & see if she asks again?!!! I really can't remember when I began, I think I was about 13 & used my sisters lady shaver!!! What's these removal mits? Thanks!

[CabbagePatchCheryl]

I am super hairy. When I was born my mum said I had hair on my legs and FOREHEAD!! I am basically a chimp.

I started with bleaching legs and upper lip when I was about 11 or 12. Big faff, not massively effective. Didn't stop boys singing the Gilette song at me at school.

I think, if she can stand it, epilating or similar is probably preferable - it has defo thinned the hair on my lip and legs in a way that shaving/hair removal cream wouldn't. But it knacks.

FWIW I still have really hairy arms and a patch of downy hair in the small of my back. It doesn't bother me any more and has never bothered any boyfriend. And I also have beautiful long dark hair with no grey in it (in my mid 30s) and fab "maxi" eyebrows. So tell her there's an upside to being a chimp!

[RandomMess]

Well I've bought the Philip Lumea for dd1 and dd4. This does mean that I need to shave dd4 legs to use it though - eek. Decided long term it was cheaper than helping her wax them for the next however many years...

[shits1]

omg i so needed this thread!! dd 11 has been quite upset with her hairiness on her face, arms and legs, I bought her some shavers and also a do-it-yourself waxing kit but we have only used the shavers so far, a bit nervous to try the do-it-yourself wax. I told her however that people don't really shave their arms. I am right, right?? Been thinking of taking her to a salon for waxing or threading for her face, a friend told me shaving is a no-no, she will develop a male sort of shadow... I am completely clueless.....

[BCBG]

Should say DD2 is 13, was 11 when we started thinking about it and just 12 when we went to the salon for the first time. It helped that a friend of hers already went.

[RandomMess]

DD4 has been upset about her hairiness since she was 7/8 so far she's not actually got to the point where I've needed to hair remove but I think it's coming soon!

SIL is a qualified beauty therapist and she did tell me that if you wax/pluck hair first of all it often does noticeable reduce the hair regrowth so I'm tempted to go down that route...

I have incredibly strong hair roots and mine tend to snap as I'm fair haired just stick to shaving so a bit worried about inflicting the pain on her!

[BCBG]

Totally totally understand. DD1 was ok until about 13 when I helped her with creams, and she shaves underarms because she reacted the first time she used the cream, so be careful. DD2 is much hairier on her legs and I have managed to get her to allow a salon wax of lower legs which has been very successful. We go at half term and once in holidays. Underarms she uses the cream. We have opened negotiations about her monobrow, and I can see that at some point she will need an upper lip wax. DD2 is dyspraxic so she found the whole hair removal thing very stressful, but has managed it fine with gentle handling! Basically I would say that the time to tackle it is when they feel conscious of it, and that there is noting wrong in teaching them how to look after themselves as long as your daughter also understands that its always her body, her choice, and that you are lovely for thinking about it. Please reassure her that lots of girls her age are starting to consider what they want to do.

[Sparkletastic]

DD2 is 9 btw

[Sparkletastic]

DD2 has inherited DH's wooly mammoth tendencies bless her. She too was insisting on wearing thick tights or leggings all the while. I shave her legs for her about once a month. The good thing is the hair takes ages to grow back. When she's older I'll give her the choice of cream or waxing but she wouldn't cope with it now.

[JessiePinkman]

My mum wouldn't help me either. I shaved my arm hair off a few times then used her epilator when the hair was really short so it didn't hurt. It never grew back! Wish I'd done that on my legs now!

[JustDanceAddict]

DD has been removing hair on legs for a year now, so since she turned 12. We do a comb of waxing/cream (hate it!) and if desperate, shaving. She has dark hair too, despite having very light brown hair on her head. DH is an ape though, so it's no surprise she is hairier than me!! We use Jolen on the moustache too. It's what I do as I hate having that area waxed as I always come up in red spots. She wants her eyebrows done now - they are fair actually, but could do with a bit of a tidy.
Also, careful with the removing cream. DD always wants it to the top of her legs cos of shorts, but the thigh is more sensitive and she sometimes gets a bit red and itchy for a couple of days after.

[FaintlyHopeful]

My daughter is 9 & has very hairy legs, really dark and long especially on her knees. It really bothered her particularly because her big sister is blonde and practically hairless at 13. I agonised about it for ages but used sensitive veet a couple of months ago and a couple of times since and she's way happier.
I had built the whole thing up thinking that if I did it, she would have some kind of complex about it but it seems to have lifted a weight in terms of her being less inhibited about clothes.

No problems using the cream and no additional growth. If she is getting teased, I would say that hair removal is the lesser of two evils but I do understand that it doesn't feel like a comfortable choice.