My feed

to access all these features

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.


What sort of reaction do you get when you ask your preteen to do a little job around the house?

48 replies

sicily1921 · 28/12/2013 17:47

I get the sighs (like a force 10 gale), the moans, the eye rolling, the whiny voice, the stomping about, the slamming of hands, it goes on and on....but apart from that DD 11yrs does everything very willingly.


OP posts:
sicily1921 · 28/12/2013 17:49

Oh, and don't forget the old classic phrase 'why always me'?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2013 17:50

Exactly that. 'Why me?' 'Why can't DS1 do it?'. Huffing, puffing, moaning. Hmm

dementedma · 28/12/2013 17:51

The pre-teen is fine. He's quite a helpful soul. But the teens!
All of the above!

Oakmaiden · 28/12/2013 17:54

"Oh, I have to do everything" stomp, stomp stomp

MrsCakesPremonition · 28/12/2013 17:57

she either walks away and pretends not to hear me, or she does the eye rolling thing, or she screams at me that I might as well kill her as she is obviously a terrible person. never just does it, although she occasionally surprises me by doing something without being asked.

LastingLight · 28/12/2013 18:14

It depends. If DD (11) is tired or stressed I get the whining, "I hate folding laundry", "I work like a slave in this house" etc. Otherwise she is quite amenable and will do what I ask with a reasonably good attitude.

17leftfeet · 28/12/2013 18:15

If I give mine a 10 minute warning that I want her to do something then she will, if I want her to do it now I get

'Its not my mess'
'Why do I have to do it'
'I do everything in this house'
'Dd2 isn't doing anything'
'Im busy'
'You're not doing anything, why don't you do it'
'You only had kids so you don't have to do anything'
'I hate my life'

Shellywelly1973 · 28/12/2013 18:17

All of the above!! Lazy little git!

Earlybird · 28/12/2013 18:18

Usually is willing if I am 'working' at the time I ask for her help. However, if I am watching telly or relaxing, she definitely feels hard done by.

She is mostly OK if I remind her about regular jobs that are her responsibility. If I ask for something 'extra' - especially if it is something that must be done right at that moment (i.e., interrupts her current activity), then she can be a bit grumpy.

But mostly, she is willing and helpful.

footballsgalore · 28/12/2013 18:20

Have you lot kidnapped my DS?
I get 'but its not my job'

Earlybird · 28/12/2013 18:25

Upon further reflection, dd's unhappiness at being asked to do some things can take on a slightly passive-aggressive angle: if it is something she doesn't want to do, she usually does it badly/sloppily (perhaps hoping she won't be asked to do it again?). Prime example: shoves clean folded clothes into her dresser drawers in such a haphazard way that I wonder why I bothered to fold them to begin with.......
MoreThanChristmasCrackers · 28/12/2013 18:29

They don't moan anymore, they used to do all of the above.
Then I went on strike and stopped doing everything that wasn't directly beneficial to me.
They do it without fuss now, it took about 2 weeks and the house as you can imagine was a complete mess.

LastingLight · 28/12/2013 18:29

Oh, and I typed up a long list of reasons why she has to help with (really quite few) chores, as well of lists of the things that DH and I do around the house and specifically for her. It's taped to her door. When the whinging starts I refer her to the list...

moldingsunbeams · 28/12/2013 18:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

footballsgalore · 28/12/2013 18:39

I wonder who is worse. Kids who do very little and aren't really used to mucking in, or kids who do several regular chores and maybe already feel they pull their weight?

willyoulistentome · 28/12/2013 18:41

Tell us more.!!!! I like your style.

TheCrackFox · 28/12/2013 18:50

All of the above and more.

He must do a full half hour of chores a week and apparently this is on par with slavery.

Ledkr · 28/12/2013 18:51

God I'm glad it's not just mine, I thought I'd raised a monster.
If its a job in the house it's "its not my mess/cup etc.
I suggest maybe we only do things for ourselves which means she won't eat, have clean clothes or be ferried about to her numerous activities.
Putting her own washing away is the worst thing or picking up her own crap, she will put it off fir days then have a meltdown when I eventually insist.
I'm pretty fed up with it tbh.

TheCrackFox · 28/12/2013 18:59

I'm fed up as well but because I have 2 boys I feel duty bound to any future DILs to produce men that do their fair share of housework.

SirChenjin · 28/12/2013 19:01

I get all of the above from my teens too - I have to threaten no money/lifts/friends over etc to get them to chores round the house.

Don't forget, we chose to have children, they didn't ask to be born, and for that reason it's up to us to keep them happy, which involves not lifting a finger. Apparently.


NigellasDealer · 28/12/2013 19:05

mine are not pre-teens, they are teens, but if i ask the daughter to do ANYTHING eg shut the door, pick up that cup please, take your clothes upstairs....she starts screaming IN A MINUTE I WILL DO IT IN A MINUTE GO AWAY!!!
while my son on the other hand does things with a minimum of huffing and puffing and will even make me a cup of tea! aww mummy's boy!

TheCrackFox · 28/12/2013 19:10

Ah, yes, the old "you chose to have children" statement. I always reply with "if you want, I could choose to spend all my wages on myself if you like". Soon shuts their materialistic gobs right up.

SirChenjin · 28/12/2013 19:45

I tell them that actually, I didn't choose to have them - they were left on our doorstep and I can't find their real parents to give them back to.

Skogkatter · 28/12/2013 20:07

I once went on a chore strike.

The house stayed pretty much the same- in fact, it might have got tidier! They still moan about chores too Hmm

MmeLindor · 28/12/2013 20:10

Mine aren't too bad, but I don't ask them to do many chores. Putting away laundry, setting table, and clearing table.

I get the sighing and the 'Why me?'. I tend to answer 'Cause I want to annoy you'. Sometimes that gets me an eyeroll, sometimes a laugh.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.