When to talk about puberty, periods etc?

[basildonbond]

Dd is 10 and although she's not showing any physical or emotional signs of puberty yet I've noticed that some of her friends are starting to change shape.

She's not raised the subject and I don't want to steam in with a load of details which aren't relevant to her just yet but obviously don't want to leave it too late ...

I've got a book for her (usbourne's 'what's happening to me?) but having read it through I'm not sure she's quite ready for it

She knows about how babies are made etc and that people change as they become teenagers - do I need to do any more until she either starts changing obviously or starts talking? Fwiw I was very late going into puberty - didn't start periods until I was 13 and no pubic hair anywhere/ breasts until I was about 17

[Biscoff]

They do it in yr 4 at our school.

[athleticsmum]

My twin daughters are 11 and just started year 7 (younger end of year so not long turned 11). I have bought them both a copy of the book and both books remain untouched in their rooms. I have said I would like to talk to them about the issues in the book, but they both seem reluctant to talk to me.

The primary school did a general talk about periods etc in year 5 and then were supposed to do something more detailed in year 6 but they 'forgot' (I so do not miss primary school!). I am now in a difficult position to know whether to force a discussion or hope they have a talk soon in secondary school.

Any views?

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes]

Maybe not force a discussion, but keep bringing it up in every day conversation, your own periods or if not applicable then what it was like when you did have them, when you're out shopping for clothes you can look at clothes designed for adults and talk about the difference in body shape, look at deordorants, tampons, Lynx after shave. When you're watching telly together, there are all sorts of opportunities if you look for them. I watched a programme about pets having babies on channel 5 with DD (8) the other night, it was a great opportunity to talk about reproduction. Don't leave it to school.

[starfish4]

As oldspeckledtam says, they do talk to them about puberty around Years 4-5. I wanted to be the one who talked to her about puberty, so hopefully she felt it was an approachable subject as and when. I knew the talk was coming up and that a couple of girls had already started their periods in the class, so got her the Usbourne book. I told her her body would start to change in the next few years and I'd got her a book to look at. She took the book straight away up to her bedroom - she didn't feel she wanted to look at it with me. I think she read the whole thing straight away, came down and told me she'd read it. I asked her if she'd got any questions, no, but made it clear that I was there as and when. Your daughter might not show any interest, but it's good to broach the subject with her and let her take it as her own pace.

[NanFlanders]

Hi. I think earlier rather than later. My dd and ds have known about periods since as soon as she asked about the tampons in the bathroom (about 3/4). Your dd may not be asking because she is embarrassed, so perhaps you could work it into the conversation in normal situations, e.g. taking her shopping and picking up sanitary wear, talking about what to use when you go swimming, mentioning period pain when you take an aspirin (if you get it - though without making the whole thing too negative). You might have started at 13, but some do start at 9, and it wouldn't be great if it all came as a horrible shock...

[Hulababy]

Sooner rather than later.

DD started her periods at 10y and had started puberty a year or two prior to that.

Whilst she ay not be reaching puberty and periods yet a few of her friends might be, and they will talk about it. It would e better for her to know the facts properly from you, rather than the playground versions.

What year is she in at school?

DD covered puberty is more detail, including periods in year 5, and then sex ed in year 6. I made sure dd knew before those lessons so it wasn't a shock.

[Hulababy]

Ooops realised now that this is an old thread from Feb 2013 which has been revived, and had already posted last year!

[soddinghormones]

Thanks hula - it's the OP here ...

We talked about this with dd some time ago now - she still doesn't really want to raise the subject but she did agree to read a couple of books and she also had the puberty/sex ed sessions at school in Y5 and Y6

[CrayolaCocaColaRocknRolla]

I started my periods at 9yo, i would think it was too late! I asked how babies were made at 6, I think I went into precoscious puberty (spelling?) but tell her now, save embarrassment and if it scares her, it scares her. You just need to tell her it's perfectly normal what she will be thinking/doing/becoming. It's all part of growing up and also show her how to use pads like my grandma did for me, very useful. do it now before she goes to high school!

[CrayolaCocaColaRocknRolla]

didn't realise how old this was! snooping around on active threads!