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Would love help with my hormonal 9yr old please!

3 replies

Jeri82 · 14/12/2011 13:28

Hi I'm new on here so not really sure of all the shortcuts i.e dd and ds etc so sorry I waffle on ;0)

I would really love some advice on how to deal with my 9yr old daughter, I think its all down to hormones, but lately really feel at my wits end with her and feeling like I'm failing her!
I'm in tears most days ;0(
She seems to have a huge chip on her shoulder, she has no respect for anyone or anything, treats her friends horrendously and is very rude to my husband and myself, she is also refusing to do any homework or leaving it right to the last minute and then its a huge drama! I have 5 daughters and try to give all of them the same amount of time and attention, I've asked her about being bullied, but now think I've put something in her head as one minute she says she is by certain girls in her class, then the next minute they all want a sleepover and are best friends (which I know is a normal girl thing). She is also very tearful and just generally seems to have the world on her shoulders, she is good with her sisters apart from no2 who is 18mnths younger, she just doesn't seem to get on with her.
I really do just feel at a loss, Ihave treid sitting down with her several times to talk about her feelings but she just replies with "everyone is annoying me"! I have thought to spk to her teacher, but wouldn't know where to begin!
She was such a happy girl and shes very bright, feel like I don't know her anymore (that seems so dramatic lol!)
Not really sure why I've written on here, but feel like I have no-one else to ask.

OP posts:
CeliaChristmasFete · 14/12/2011 13:51

Hi Jeri,
It is a hormonal time. My daughter (dd - darling daughter) was a real handful from the age of 8-11. She sounds very much like your dd.
She's now started comp and has become the daughter I always thought I'd have. She's a good kid, is kind, caring and considerate. She's organised, does homework on time without asking (like your dd, we used to have last minute tantrums). We get on, she asks my advice and opinion and listens to me - this is a first!
As she's one of 5 she's probably thinking that "the noisiest wheel gets oiled first" if you see what I mean (iyswim for future reference!) and has found a way to get your attention.
I would try and spend a afternoon with just you and her doing something she chooses (if that's possible with childcare for the others).
Speak to her teacher and ask if there are any problems in school which maybe causing this behaviour at home.
Make sure she's eating and drinking regularly (low blood sugar causes me to get really ratty and irritable) and make sure she gets enough sleep.
A good multivitamin may help - if it doesn't it could have a placebo effect!
I'd also have "the talk" with her about periods - plenty of good books on Amazon for a starting point.
HTH (hope this helps!) Xmas Smile

chickensaresafehere · 14/12/2011 17:19

My dd1 is 11,she is still hormonal & has been for about the past year,although she started her periods a couple of months ago,so that maybe explains a few things!!
She is very Jekyll & Hyde,one minute answering back with cocky remarks the next laughing & joking as if nothings gone on Xmas Confused
She moans constantly about homework & school,but seems to be enjoying it.She is always falling in & out with friends.
Just sounds like your dd Jeri,me & dh try not to bite with the answering back & ignore 'some' of it or it can erupt into an almighty war.
I find myself treating her the way she is acting IYKWIM,so have resorted to 'mothering' her abit more than I have been & trying to fit in more kisses & cuddles,as she doesn't seem to want them at the moment but really appreciates them when I give them.
It is sooo hard as they are trying to exert their independence but they are still young.We sre still muddling along & constantly adapting our parenting,but I'm sure she will turn out alright in the end!!!

Jeri82 · 15/12/2011 16:51

Thank you all advice is very welcomed, unfortunately for her and myself this is a first time experience...I'm sure I'll be an expert by the time the other 4 get to this stage, its a learning curve I guess!
I'm very open with the girls so periods have been talked about, I will deffinately try and make more time for her and the mothering seems a good idea...back to the beggining so to speak!
Will probably make an appointment with the school, just to see how she is getting on in class ;0)

Thanks ladies very much appreciated x

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