Don't know what to do

[Tangerinedreamx]

I can't believe I'm writing this. So last year at the end of September I found out I was pregnant, I was very confused about the pregnancy, I would like a family one day but the timing was very wrong for many reasons and it just did not seem feasible. Initially I wanted to go through with the pregnancy but as time went on I realised it couldn't work. At nearly 12 weeks I went and had a surgical termination, this really hit me hard and I sank into a bad place afterwards and it put a massive pressure on my relationship nearly to breaking point. Its taken me a long time to get to a better place mentally.
Anyway, I woke up the other morning and felt really sick, I'm currently taking the pill and was not even late on my period yet. But I had hyperemesis last time and also really struggled with that, and the sickness feeling just felt so familiar I had a horrible feeling. So I went out and got a test, which had a very very faint positive. I thought this could be a water line and thought is try again in a few days (although I knew). So I took another test today and BFP. I've been in so much shock and disbelief over the last few days I cannot process this as all. It does not feel real and I have no idea how to deal with this.
I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest and talk.
I posted on another thread initially but I think in the wrong place

[girlmom21]

Are you in a relationship?
How old are you?
Are your circumstances now different to what they were in September?

[Fizzyfish]

Why did you think it couldn't work before? Are you quite young? What are your fears around starting a family now?

[Tangerinedreamx]

I didn't think it could work the first time because of my financial situation, I didn't live with my partner back then it was a relatively new relationship, my partner had said he would support me either way but I knew it wasn't what he wanted. I had been through a lot in the last 12 months and I was in a lot of debt and barely keeping my own head above water.

[Tangerinedreamx]

My circumstances have changed slightly I do live with my partner now but still am struggling financially. It was when I thought about childcare and maternity pay that I realised I couldn't do it. Since then I have struggled a lot with my mental health. I don't feel strong enough to go through a similar situation as before as it nearly broke me.

[girlmom21]

Just to ease your financial worries a little, you'd probably be entitled to UC whilst on SMP if you're both low earners and you'll be entitled to child benefit - although of course I don't know what kind of help that would be.

[Fizzyfish]

Yes that's understandable. Circumstances are rarely perfect for anyone starting a family though. Would you have much support from family/friends?

[Tangerinedreamx]

I don't think I'd qualify for benefits or anything, I wouldn't be considered a low earner but I do have financial issues.

I don't really have a support network of relatives that could help

[Fizzyfish]

OK, do you think you would at least have good support from your partner?

[Tangerinedreamx]

If I'm 100% I'm not sure

[girlmom21]

Do you want a baby?
How long would it take to sort your financial issues?

[Tangerinedreamx]

@girlmom21 yes, it's something I think about a lot having my own family. Maybe a few years to sort out my finances.

[Fizzyfish]

OK, you said you don't feel strong enough to go through a similar situation than before. The only other option is to have the baby and accept that yes, it might be difficult at first until you sort things out. There is help out there for you, you can do it but only you can make the choice. Starting a family is not an easy ride for anyone.