Medical abortion

[Claudiaskx]

So I am going away in 2 weeks and I was really hoping to get a surgical abortion but I’ve realised that there is no way that I would be able to have a consultation (not until Thursday) and still be able to have it before I go away and as I am abroad for another 2 weeks I do not feel I can wait a month. I am absolutely terrified of taking the pill as I have a low pain tolerance and will be alone as I am 18 and live with my parents but do not feel able to tell them. I have support from my partners parents and my partner obviously but I am not able to stay with them whilst I take the second tablet. I would love some support as I am just terrified. I also have no idea how far along I am as I have been taking the pill perfectly. I am so nervous and the waiting even until my appointment on Wednesday (4 days from now) is killing me. I am scared and I want this whole experience to be over. I have terrified myself reading reviews online and have only seen relatively okay reviews here. I hope someone has some experience or someone I would be able to message whilst it is happening for support :( I hope that this is okay as I know this can be taboo here but I am so scared and don’t know where to turn because I don’t know anyone who has had the pill and that I can talk to :(

[Claudiaskx]

I do not have particularly painful periods and very rarely get any cramps so I am nervous about the pain level. I am going through NUPAS if that helps, does anyone have any experience with them

[ImagineRainbows]

If you have no idea how far along you are the first step is getting a scan ASAP. Do not accept the pills by post system without a scan first. There have sadly been many people who have become very unwell, and even a case of a woman who sadly died, due to taking the pills when being further along in pregnancy than they thought they were.

Most people find the pain and bleeding manageable with paracetamol and a hot water bottle but you will need to have a couple of days to rest and you will need someone with you in case you react badly and need medical help.

Hope it goes as well as it can x

[SouthernskinNorthernsoul]

I had a medical abortion a few years ago and while the experience obviously wasn't great, it really was ok. I made the right decision for me at the time and I don't regret it. I remember being in your position and desperately searching online for reassuring experiences. I think the people who have had positive experiences, or at least ok/mundane experiences, are just less inclined to write about it online.

You've said you have no idea how many weeks you are- are you able to purchase a digital pregnancy test which could give you some indication of how many weeks? Or did it just say 3+. Have you thought about what you will do if you are further along than you think you are and you need a surgical abortion? Or if you are even past 24 weeks? There is a big difference between a 6 week pregnancy and a 10 week even.

I was 6 weeks and it felt like really, really bad period pain. My experience of it was that the pain comes in waves (a bit like actual childbirth) and you will gradually lose tissue and blood. I can't remember specific details anymore but I think I did need at least 3 days to fully recover, although I know people who have been in work only a day or two after.

It's not a nice process to go through alone or have to hide though so I would recommend that you are with someone you trust and feel safe with. Is there a reason you don't feel comfortable talking to your parents?

At the time I was warned that when I had my first child I might feel differently about it or look back and have regrets, so be prepared for some feelings to be dredged up when/if you do one day start a family, but personally it's not something which has affected me and I've barely thought about it. It did help that I was so early on though. I know I would feel differently had I been later.

[SouthernskinNorthernsoul]

I also agree with @ImagineRainbows that you definitely should have a scan first. I have no idea what the process of consultations etc is at the moment but it's important you know how many weeks you are before you make any decisions.

[Claudiaskx]

Thank you for the advice! I probably should have been slightly more specific... because I am on the pill and take it back to back I can not be entirely sure but I know that i am between 6 and 8 weeks. Just not entirely sure where between them. NUPAS offer medical up to 14 weeks but there is no way I could be another over 14 as before the 8 week possibility I would be around 8 months pregnant but I have gained no weight etc. I am going for a scan on Thursday and if all is okay then they will give me the pills at that scan. The waiting until Thursday and the pain is the what I am most worried about. I am not able to tell my parents or talk to them about it because they are very against pregnancy at this age and when I first got together with my partner (3 years ago) they made it very clear that if this ever were to happen I would not be supported.
Yes I agree that a lot of people will probably opt to not write a review or share their experience but the horror stories still terrify me. I just still feel like I don’t know what to expect

[pepinanalilyplant]

I had a medical termination due to severe hyperemesis. It was the right choice for me at the time. I would probably say mine was a positive experience. Both the midwife and doctor were very professional and kind. I was given very specific instructions as well as written, pain relief and antibiotics to take home with me. Emergency number for contact was also given. I had my husband with me and it definitely helped. Is your partner accompanying you?

The bleeding was more like a heavy period and the pain was manageable for me. I didn't need the prescribed analgesic.

Hope everything goes well for you.

[SouthernskinNorthernsoul]

I'm so sorry that your parents previous discussion on teen pregnancy has led you to feel you have to hide this. Do keep in mind that they might have said they wouldn't be supportive in the hope that it would prevent any pregnancies from happening in the first place. They might respond differently now if they knew you were pregnant and needed help? Totally up to you if you don't feel up to telling them though, I do understand.

Are you going to be able to stay at your boyfriends for a couple of days at least after you've taken the pills? Do you have any friends you have confided in? You might want someone aside from your bf you can talk to in a few weeks or months time. I was emotional and hormonal for the few weeks following mine, although I don't think I fully realised at the time.

My experience was this: I went in for my first scan with my partner. We asked not to see the scan screen. I also asked her not to have the sound on the monitor so I wouldn't hear any heartbeat if there was one- although I don't think there was at my stage. I remember the woman said 'oh its so small' which was strangely comforting. She then discussed my options with me, asked me why I was wanting a termination- at no point did she lead me or push me to change my mind. She listened to me and accepted my reasons for a termination. I can see that NUPAS is commissioned by the NHS so they should be totally impartial/neutral. BUT, be aware that some advisors who work for these services are not and may try to talk you round to keep the baby. It is totally fine if you change your mind and want to go ahead with your pregnancy but it needs to be completely YOUR decision. One of my friends went to a charity, I have no idea which one, and although they advertised themselves as neutral and pro-choice the counsellor/advisor she spoke to was not impartial. My friend was swayed by this woman, changed her mind and kept the baby. Obviously she doesn't regret this now but she fully admits that this woman very cleverly made her reconsider, I only know this because she is my best friend and has fully confided in me about this. She has has struggled in so many ways since because the decision was never fully hers.

I was able to have a beautiful baby with no issues a few years later- I remember this was also something I worried about at the time. That I would be 'punished' later down the line somehow?!

[SouthernskinNorthernsoul]

Have just remembered too- they gave me codeine for the pain, which was a huge help. Although it wasn't pleasant, it was maneagable. I had to go back about a week later to have a second pessary pill and the nurse who dealt with me was so, so lovely- I still remember her. You shouldn't feel any judgement.

[nasiisthebest]

Figure out the maximum paracetamol dosis per day (mostly it's two pills, three or four times a day but check the packet) and start a day before. I know it sounds bonkers but it really helps if you already have it in your system before you start. Keep it up for a few days till you passed the pregnancy. It probaby won't be painless so make sure you can stay on the couch with a hot water bottle, eating snacks, watching tv wherever you are without being nagged by anyone. So either fake a sickness at home or go to your boyfriends.

[Claudiaskx]

Thank you for all your advice it definitely helps!!! Has anyone had any bad experiences?? I’m slightly worried about the pain but from what I can hear it sounds manageable. I am more scared of haemorrhaging or having an incomplete abortion. What are the chances of things like that happening?

[Muslx]

I had a medical abortion last Thursday, I was so scared as I was terrified of the pain because it was so unknown.. And then it came to the day and I was really panicking.. And it wasn't even that bad, I was 7 weeks, cramping like a period. I didn't bleed on a pad just in the toilet. Passed a few clots which I was scared about but they were not big and I didn't even notice most of them until I looked into the toilet and saw them. It wasn't scary at all. Then once clots passed I just bled like a period and cramps were minimal, bleeding has finished today and I'm just spotting a bit. Xx

[LivingMyBestLife2020]

I had one last year at 8 weeks and it was absolutely fine. I took the painkillers they gave me and it wasn’t at all painful for me. I passed lots of quite big clots but once I felt the bleeding start (about 2 hours after the vaginal tablets went it) I just sat on the loo until all the clots passed. It honestly, was fine. Then I just bled like a normal period for a week or so.

[Claudiaskx]

Thank you both for your comments today!! I actually ended up having a surgical as I was 12 weeks. I had it on Friday and I’ve been recovering, feeling a lot better but still some pain from the iud. Slight cramping but I’m doing okay! Hope you two are as well!!

[Natalierosex]

@Claudiaskx
glad all went well!
im in a similar position can I ask did you have it under GA?