Baby surname on passports/birth certificate etc.

[NicNac100]

Hi all
I've heard mixed messages about this and wondered if anyone knew what was best to do. We're not married and I'm happy for baby to have my partners' surname however I will probably (one day in the future when we're allowed again lol) go away more often with her on my own (with my mum etc.) as he can't always take so much time off work and my family have a holiday home, and wondered do you have difficulty taking a child on holiday if they have a different surname to you? Would I need my partner to write a letter each time we go stating it is ok?
Should she have both surnames on her birth certificate and/or passport for ease?
Thanks in advance!

[SporadicNamechange]

That’s genius! Why don’t they do that????

I have no idea why it isn't done as standard. It seems so obvious and straightforward. There's a page for 'official observations'. That seems a pertinent one on a child passport.

I'm sure there's a really long but utterly arbitrary reason why they can waste time clarifying my title (which is of no consequence to anyone frankly) but not that.

[sel2223]

@titchy lol. Obviously they have to consent. I thought you were saying that checks legally have to be done on all children leaving the country.

i hope your immigration/passport control colleagues have a better awareness of the law on child abduction...

Patronising much?

[toobusytothink]

@SporadicNamechange
That’s genius! Why don’t they do that????

[Colouringinbook]

DS has my surname as a middle name and the same surname as his dad. We got stopped going through the airport last year. Luckily DH was stood on the other side of the passport check! I'd definitely take BC and a letter if I was flying just with DC even though we do share a name.

[titchy]

Sel - yes. The legal position is that all parties with parental responsibility must consent to the child being taken abroad unless there is a court order in place which allows for 28 days without permission from the other parent.

I hope your immigration/passport control colleagues have a better awareness of the law on child abduction...

[CeibaTree]

I take a copy of DC's birth certificates with me, but have never once been asked to show them. I really think there should be a page on children's passports with their parent's details on though.

[NicNac100]

@SporadicNamechange

Or we could build that into child passports - they could routinely include the names (and dates of birth) of both parents in the ‘observations’ section.

Brilliant idea would make so much more sense!!

[sel2223]

@titchy is it? I work in an airport and didn't know that was the legal position. I've only ever seen checks done when there's a different surname or an issue with the passport.

@SporadicNamechange I actually think that's a great idea to have parent names in the passport to match with the birth certificate.

[Cherryrainbow]

What I would add is that me and sons dad are separated, we never married and didn't go through legal channels to make our arrangements as it was pretty amicable and we do 50/50 care. My aunt had an issue with her ex where he tried to claim she kidnapped their child when she took her abroad on holiday because he didn't agree to it. Due to that the letter is basically a back up so you can't make up claims if there are any disputes which thankfully we haven't had any problem with. In the letter I just state my details, confirm i agree to and permit the holiday between such and such dates and staying at such location, We both sign and have a copy. With our school holiday forms we basically both sign them as well to show the school we both agree to it so again we have that assurance of confirmation that we have knowledge the other parent is taking our son out x

[BluebirdHill]

@SporadicNamechange that's a very sensible idea about parent details in the child's passport.

[yikesanotherbooboo]

My children have my DH's surname . It has never been an issue that mine is different. I agree with those that say the children's surname should be yours if you are not married ; you could double barrel or have your DP's name as a middle or family name.

[titchy]

Doing extra checks on every single child regardless of name, taking a lot more time/resources etc and no doubt pissing a lot of people off?

Well yes, that's the legal position. Surname means nothing. In practice it doesn't happen that often, but checks should be made that the other parent has given permission, hence why OP should take a signed letter from her dp consenting to the child being taken abroad.

[ArthurandJessie]

I'm actually married but didn't take husbands surname but will in the future and we live abroad ! Our babies will have his surname and I'll change mine later but when I take them back to England if he isn't there I'll defo have a letter from him just in case

[SporadicNamechange]

What system would I suggest? One that is universal and acknowledges that:

1. Children can have different surnames to their parents
   
2. Children being with someone with the same surname doesn’t mean they’re with a parent
   

So we could just ask for evidence from everyone with children. Or we could build that into child passports - they could routinely include the names (and dates of birth) of both parents in the ‘observations’ section.

If they can manage the print ‘the holder is Dr Sporadic Namechange’ in mine, they can just as easily print ‘The parents of this child are Kate Jones (DOB 14 Jul 1976) and Mark Smith (DOB 05 Apr 1974)’ in there. And the immigration officers could just check them against the passport of the person with them.

[sel2223]

relying on surnames is utterly stupid

@SporadicNamechange what system would you suggest instead then?

Doing extra checks on every single child regardless of name, taking a lot more time/resources etc and no doubt pissing a lot of people off?

Checking no child whatsoever therefore having no guard against abduction or trafficking etc?

The surnames thing is just an extra check. They've already got their passport with them.

My child will have a different surname to me and I have no issue with being asked a few questions and carrying a copy of the birth certificate.

[SporadicNamechange]

I agree that relying on surnames is utterly stupid. I have to take DS’s birth certificate because the immigration people always insist on seeing it. Because otherwise they’d never be able to believe that he’s my son.

But I can waltz through immigration with the DSC with no questions asked because we share a surname.

It’s a stupid system. But it is easy enough to fold up a copy of a birth certificate and stick it inside their passport.

[BluebirdHill]

Doesn't this worry anyone? As it means a random person can take your kids abroad with no questions asked, regardless if there's a mismatch in surnames and no additional proof of relationship?

I've travelled with DS, different surnames, no other documents. Think I've been asked once. He looks so obviously like me, plus he's old enough to say for himself who I am to him if asked. Helps being a woman too - far less likely to be abducting a child.

[NicNac100]

Thank you all for your replies - I'm not sure a double barrelled hyphenated name works so well for everyday use as his surname is Cypriot and mine is very English so sounds a bit odd together but I guess we could certainly register her with both surnames and just drop one for everyday use - thanks all!

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

We gave my daughter both our surnames, even though we’re married I kept my name.
I have no issue with her dumping my surname once 18 but as a minor I think it’s easier to have both of us easily recognised as a guardian

[PlayinMay]

Ours have both as we have Spanish in the family, works brilliantly on domestic flights at any rate. Not sure about abroad.

[missyoumuch]

My friend kept her maiden name and has never been questioned when travelling with her three kids which she has frequently on her own.

Doesn't this worry anyone? As it means a random person can take your kids abroad with no questions asked, regardless if there's a mismatch in surnames and no additional proof of relationship?

[Betsyboo87]

I didn’t take DH surname when we got married but DS will have his. When my passport renews I plan to add Mrs (DH surname) as an aka in the observations page. This is possible in British passports. I’d also take his birth certificate and a letter.

[Pipandmum]

My friend kept her maiden name and has never been questioned when travelling with her three kids which she has frequently on her own. But carry a copy of the birth certificate if you want to be super secure.

[Cherryrainbow]

My son has his dad's surname and I've written him letters in the past to confirm I understand he's taking my son to such and such and my contact details.

[missyoumuch]

NameChange30 of course it's optional but as OP is inclined to give the baby dad's surname already I assumed that was important to her for some reason.

I have far too many friends who have a child with the surname of a guy they never married and cannot stand, they all regret their decision. Never met anyone who regretting giving their child their own surname though!