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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

One of my babies died

36 replies

MrsChrisPratt · 21/08/2016 14:33

We found out on Thursday, had some spotting and am extremely anxious so was sent to EPU for a scan. I was supposed to be 9 weeks with twins, having had 2 scan already each showing two heartbeats, but only one was still alive. The other stopped growing at 8 weeks and had no heartbeat. I've been signed off for two weeks and been told to wait to miscarry and hope it doesn't take the other one with it.

I feel like I'm drowning, it's so hard to breathe. This is our first pregnancy after 4 highly eventful rounds of IVF, including 2 hospital stays,an incident where I nearly lost an ovary and a few months worth of drug induced depression

OP posts:

Report

SpinALittleFaster · 01/09/2016 19:57

Great news about your scan. I hope things continue to go well with the remaining twin.
I lost one at 7 weeks only a few days after we found out it was twins. I'm now 16 weeks and everything is apparently fine. I was told that the second twin would be absorbed but there was still no change to the sac at 13 weeks. I was told afterwards that it may never absorb or fully miscarry.

twinmamma2b · 01/09/2016 17:56

All progressing well with me and DS. We're 24 weeks so over half way. I'm definitely in the enjoyment stage!

Trying not to think of the one that got away but did have a little moment when I met someone at yoga who is a few weeks ahead of me with twins.

mowglik · 01/09/2016 17:08

Happy to hear your news mrs just read your thread now, was going to say I had a vanishing twin too with my first dc and I was told in the majority of cases the body will reabsorb the twin that didn't make it. Fingers crossed everything goes smoothly for you now

LillianFullStop · 01/09/2016 17:02

so happy all is well for one of your babies - must be a bittersweet time for you but must be a relief to find out all is not lost

MrsChrisPratt · 01/09/2016 15:20

Thanks twinmamma how are you? How are things progressing? How far gone are you now?

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twinmamma2b · 01/09/2016 15:14

That's wonderful news that baby 2 is looking strong. Am delighted for you. Let us know how things go next week.

MrsChrisPratt · 01/09/2016 14:38

Hi Everyone, just a quick update-we had a further scan today at 11 weeks and things are currently as they should be for baby 2. They also think baby 1 is beginning to decrease in size which is apparently good news. Feeling a lot more positive today and keeping everything crossed for 12 wk scan next week.

Thanks for all the messages of positive stories and support, it really did help

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Coconutty · 24/08/2016 09:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Excusemyfrench · 24/08/2016 09:45

Hi
I was pregnant with twins and at our 9 weeks scan was told one of the twins ' heart beat had stopped.
Like you I waited and the second twin was absorbed by the first one and I was left with a single pregnancy.
From there on it was plain sailing for me and he was born at 40 weeks. He is now 2 and a half and eating his breakfast. Try and keep busy, throw yourself into work, plan movies to watch in the evening, etc and Thursday will be there before you know it. The wait is so hard but for now its all you can do..
I have everything crossed for you, keep us updated if you can xxxx

MrsChrisPratt · 23/08/2016 21:06

Thankyou, it is so heartening to hear positive outcomes. Next Thursday feels like a lifetime away.

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April241 · 23/08/2016 20:24

Sorry for your loss .

My friend had a vanishing twin, had two big bleeds around 6 weeks so went for an early scan and then seen two babies but I believe 1 heartbeat and they'd said the second was perhaps a little further behind so booked her for a scan at 8 weeks to see if it would. By the 8 week scan she'd had another bleed but her remaining baby grew perfectly, he's 3 weeks old now :)

Wishing you all the best.

KarenLF · 23/08/2016 16:27

Oh my goodness how awful, so sorry fr your loss. All my good wishes are with you, your partner and the other baby xxxx

CalmYaTits · 22/08/2016 22:50

I'm so sorry OP

My mum lost my twin at 13 weeks, unfortunately with un-identical twins it's quite common to miscarry the physically weaker baby. Such a devastating situation. Please look after yourself and baby

MrsChrisPratt · 22/08/2016 22:38

Thank you so much to those who are still posting, it is so comforting to hear that this can still end in a healthy baby. That is what I am holding onto for now.

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aimees75 · 22/08/2016 22:05

MrsChrisPratt am so sorry to hear this. I had the same thing happen to me, after IVF. I was expecting triplets and two stopped growing at 10.5 weeks. There was no bleeding, they were just reabsorbed and the third one stayed put is now a 3 year old! Hang in there, twins from separate embryos can do this, I.e. has anomalies and one doesn't.
Best of luck over the coming weeks

Sweetheartyparty76 · 22/08/2016 06:43

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby.
I'm currently 30 weeks with a little girl and we lost her twin at about 7 weeks. We had undergone ivf too and we were so anxious when we found out that we would likely miscarry one of the twins. I had bright red bleeding on occasions but it wasn't caused by the miscarriage but by a bleed site. In the end, my body absorbed the twin.
I was told by my ivf consultant that the loss of one twin shouldn't impact the other even if I were to miscarry. Thankfully in my case it didn't but it was such a stressful time.
Take care of yourself and try to rest as much as you can x

KittyandTeal · 21/08/2016 18:25

It sounds like you've not been told much at all.

I'm not sure what you're like but for me I definitely feel better the more information I have.

I'd definitely try the miscarriage association or arc may be able to help (they usually deal with antenatal diagnoses but they may have some experience of the impact of loosing a twin in pregnancy)

Otherwise your hospitals screening midwife might be able to help. They may also have a bereavement midwife who you could speak to, I know some people don't feel they want or need to or that an 'early' loss means they feel they cannot access that service but I'm sure you could. Sometimes a person who understands but is removed from the situation is a great person to talk to.

It's such a shit situation to be in. I'm so sorry.

HughLauriesStubble · 21/08/2016 18:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hooleywhipper · 21/08/2016 17:36

So sorry for your loss OP. Be kind to yourself

MrsChrisPratt · 21/08/2016 17:32

No, I've not been given a time frame as to when I might be safe, but they've made an appointment for a further scan on the 1st September to see what has happened at that stage. I wasn't really given any info, just told I may absorb or I may miscarry, and if I miscarry there is a chance the other one will go too

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KittyandTeal · 21/08/2016 17:29

I'm so sorry to hear you've lost your baby and that you are facing a terrible wait.

It might be worth contacting sands or the miscarriage association. They both will have accurate information or just someone to talk to who won't read you stats, tell you to think positively and a whole bunch or other well meaning but unhelpful advice.

Take each day at a time, be kind to yourself and do whatever you need to to get through.

Have the hospital given you a time frame of when you might be 'safe' from miscarrying your other baby?

MrsChrisPratt · 21/08/2016 17:24

Thanks for the good wishes for the second baby. I have no idea what to expect really-anything from no bleeding and the baby will be absorbed through to a full miscarriage with cramps and heavy bleeding, taking the second one with it. Nothing that can be done other than wait and see...It's awful waiting, I am on edge all the time waiting for the worst to happen, I just don't know what I will when it does, I feel like I can't take anymore after everything that's happened in the last few years, it's like a nightmare I'm never waking up from.

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Whatsername17 · 21/08/2016 17:11

I'm so sorry. There are no words. I lost my baby at 13 weeks after discovering at 11 weeks that I'd had a mmc. He died at 8 weeks. I was forced to have a natural miscarriage because it was Christmas abd they didn't have enough staff to give me medical management or a d&c. I dont know what you have been told to expect and I'm certainly not going to push my experience on you but if you want to ask any questions please do. I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope that your other baby stays safe x

DirtyDancing · 21/08/2016 16:51

MrsChris sorry to hear what you are going through. I've just joined thus thread is supporting me at the moment and may help you during this difficult time www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2685123-Staying-posifrickentive-Thread-10-for-ladies-pg-after-mc

KayTee87 · 21/08/2016 16:24

I'm so sorry for your loss it must be one of the worst things that could happen xx

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