Teaching, pregnant and emotional

[User1288]

Hi,

I was wondering if anyone else is a teacher on here? I am 11 weeks pregnant and have been quite emotional - or more specifically, easily annoyed and angered throughout my pregnancy. I have been trying very hard to surpress these emotions at work (secondary school) but did have a real outburst when a student misbehaved. I really let rip which I know is counterproductive and unprofessional. I found myself getting really wound up and not holding back. This resulted in shouting and really arguing with a student to the point where I made it so much worse. I know this is bad practice and it is unlike my normal approach. So I was wondering if anyone else felt like this and if you have had similar experiences/outbursts? Will I stop being so agitated at some point? Everything and everyone is winding me up at the moment and it's making me really upset. I know this sounds really self centred but I genuinely am finding it hard to control my emotions. I felt horrid after my aggressive confrontation with the student (the student was absolutely horrible and unteachable at the time but no excuse). Have pregnancy emotions made work life more difficult?

[User1288]

I have had to tell now due to timetabling which is a relief because I can be much more open about how I am feeling. Everyone has been really good which makes it a lot easier. Probably is best to let a few people know earlier but I was just so scared something might go wrong!

As for eating, I have had lots of days of bad sickness and others fine but have been eating rubbish most of the time as most things make me feel sick. Excessive weight gain as a result which is a bit sad as I read somewhere that there isn't any real reason to gain weight at this stage, perhaps a kilo at most

[TwllBach]

Ahh I used to run to the local shop as soon as my class had left the premises and buy the cheese and onion slices, salt and vinegar twists, and fizzy haribo type sweets! I couldn't eat anything remotely healthy and feel anywhere near well, and that made me angry as well!

[Jamjar12]

Yeah I had to tell my department as I was organising timetables for next year so we've put out feelers for a cover teacher to replace me.

My sixth formers have given me a few raised eyebrows as to why I'm a bit peaky and eat biscuits constantly (it's either that or vomit on them at the moment!!) but I'm sure it won't be long until the cat's out of the bag!

I'm living off bread and butter- literally anything with protein or any sort of nutrient in it makes me heave!

[thatsn0tmyname]

Secondary teacher here. I developed pregnancy-related rage and now have post -pregnancy related rage as my children are 4 and 2. I googled the symptoms for post natal depression and didn't match the symptoms. I'm getting better at managing my short fuse, both at work and at home, but spent a lot of my pregnancy simmering with rage!

[User1288]

Grumpy teachers united indeed! I'm so glad I am not the only one as I have felt like a completely useless teacher which is a horrible feeling. Jamjar12 I completely understand the pressure, I am going through the same. Have you told your dept? Funny enough, one of my classes asked me if I was pregnant as they have 'noticed a change'. Code for 'miss you look a bit fat?' I have been leaving around the same time since I went back to work last week as I am just exhausted. The usual 'your leaving early again' comments have become annoying now.

Congralutions LittleMissAlwaysHungry! Hopefully you don't have too many symptoms.

On a side note, tea and milk are completely off limits - the thought of both make me feel sick and actually make me physically sick if I consume them. The days at school have felt pretty long without my tea breaks!

[Jamjar12]

Not just me, phew! I'm a head of department in a secondary school (5 weeks today until our first exam and then they are running pretty much through every other week til late June). I've got a mountain of coursework to mark on top of normal workload, plus kids bugging me every 5 mins to do after school/weekend/half term sessions!
I'm normally really devoted to them so I think they're a bit miffed by the cold shoulder but I simply had to leave at 4pm yesterday and today! I'm 8+5 today and feeling shattered plus vomiting every few hours. The staff know but won't tell the kids until I'm starting to show. It's a bit of a nightmare!

Grumpy hormonal teachers united lol!

[TwllBach]

Hi I'm a teacher too but 39 weeks tomorrow. I remember being really irritable with my lovely little nursery class when they came in September and having to tell my TA well before 12 weeks because I just couldn't keep my temper. I normally try to be such a happy lovely cuddly teacher too! But I was snappy and had little patience and the workload had me on my knees... I would get home at 6, stare desperately at the poor dog who wanted attention, shovel something carby in my mouth and then be in bed by 8!

[LittleMissAlwaysHungry]

Hi everyone

I'm primary and am 5 weeks today. No significant symptoms yet but I'm still on Easter holidays and am in Spain for the rest of the week chilling out. I only found out a few days ago.

I'm not looking forward to going back. Teaching is exhausting enough without being pregnant! I feel for you all and am sending positive vibes

[Helbelle75]

It's the tiredness I'm finding difficult.
I've decided I'm going to tell my line manager this week as I may need some support/ understanding about certain things not getting done.
My patience is fine today, but I teach MFL and it's all action stations and I just don't have the energy! Plus I'm starving and have just had to go and have a banana in lesson changeover!

[Spottyladybird]

Another teacher here- primary and I'm 10 weeks! Have no patience at all, especially with my year sixes who are driving me up the wall!

[LittleGreyCatwithapinkcollar]

Thanks op. If I'd sworn at them or something I'd understand it, but I just refused to help them do things they should already have done for homework/repeat things for the 100th time so it just send really harsh, but each to their own!
Good luck those returning after easter. I've been back a week and it feels like a lifetime!!!

[MsFiremanSam]

Secondary here too - I'm back tomorrow after the Easter hols and could cry at the thought of it😭 I have four exam classes so it will be full on now until June. Tons of marking to do before the controlled assessment deadline as well. Motivation is on the floor at the moment!

[User1288]

How horrible they went as far to complain about it. Especially if you were just snappy and not having a complete meltdown like I did (I was worried I'd get a complaint and I would have deserved it if I did if I am completely honest). It is such a horrible feeling to feel like we are being questioned or challenged when we work hard and just want the best for our students. Some parents are more pushy than others too and it could have been an offhand comment by the student about their day which pushed the parent into writing an email. I am sorry you spent the weekend feeling rubbish, I would have felt horrid too but try not to beat yourself up about it. Someone will always have something or someone to moan about I guess. Anyway, with exam classes it can be tough on a normal day, especially as there is now huge exam pressure coupled with some teenagers trying to ignore the pressure by doing very little. Smiles through gritted teeth for now!

As for other teachers, I am trying to deal with them as and when necessary. I don't need to make enemies right now!

[LittleGreyCatwithapinkcollar]

Another secondary teacher here who is struggling to cope with the anger! I was really snappy with a y12 class just before easter as the majority hadn't done homework, were on phones and not doing what I asked and then one of their mum's emailed the head teacher to complain about it! I found out on Friday and have now spent most of the weekend in tears! I'm cross with myself for being snappy and cross with the student whose mum complained for telling her when clearly I'm not normally like that! I guess it's all patience and sweetness and light on Monday. In my last pregnancy I was just grumpy with other teachers (but never in front of them - just raged to my friends about it!!!). Fx it's easier as we get further in!

[User1288]

Drsausagedog I really hope your sickness calms down. I've had some very bad nausea and some vomitting but luckily I haven't had to throw up at school. I read it calms down in the second trimester so I hope you don't have to put up with it for much longer.

Missingcaffeine it does make you feel bad when you have those kind of moments, doesn't it? Poor you in the rain - I guess like someone else said - pregnant or not, sometimes we all have those moments. It's difficult to not beat yourself up over them though. It sounds like it really helped to let people know that your pregnant. It makes people more tolerable if anything. Not sure some students would fully understand the impact hormones can have. I certainly didn't prior to getting pregnant so will definitely be so much more understanding of any pregnant woman. I only ever thought about how tired you must get but that was only when I could see a massive bump! Oh the ignorance haha!
As for passing on marking - I wish! No teacher will willingly take on someone else's marking. We all have way too much of our own as it is. Once I tell the students (the older years), I think they will be a bit more understanding in terms of waiting to get work back.

Potkettleblack2 can't imagine how tough it must be when you already have children. Not too long for you now, so good luck with everything! It is nice to hear it gets better. Oh poor DH gets the bulk of my frustration and anger - I feel really sorry for him at times and try to control myself. Very difficult but luckily he's not taking me too seriously.

You must be so excited now! I can't wait to have a bump and be visibly pregnant to all!

[Potkettleblack2]

Secondary school teacher here too. Don't worry-it gets better! I am 33 weeks now but found weeks 6-14 very difficult. I think I took most of my frustrations out on DH though!

For me the hardest part was workload and my need to be in bed by 8 (this went on well past 14 weeks) but 8 is when I usually start marking etc as DC1 in bed and dinner is over with. I've had to be very disciplined with myself at weekends and during frees/lunch, and basically grabbing any tiny chance I had to do work. Counting down to Mat leave now though!

[Missingcaffeine]

I'm not a teacher, but a senior nurse and I had similar problems especially in the first trimester. I seriously don't know how secondary school teachers cope as I can only imagine how teenage kids must wind you up when hormonal!!
The exhaustion for most people is at it's worst before 12 weeks and then again in the final weeks. For me the hormones were intermittently an issue the whole way through, but always made much worse by exhaustion, so they were much easier to deal with once the first trimester sickness, dizziness and total exhaustion had passed. In my previous pregnancy I was in a different job and I shouted at a colleague of mine in front of the whole team (I was team lead). The colleague was was totally in the wrong, but I was so mad at myself for not acting professionally, I ended up hiding in the rain and cold on the fire escape sobbing uncontrollably to the extent that I had to call my boss and ask to go home immediately!
I ended up telling my boss and a couple of other senior staff that I was pregnant before my scan. I think half the team had guessed anyway as I had turned from this calm supportive professional person into a snappy irritable mess. I wanted to keep it a secret until my scan but I felt so awful I needed support otherwise I would have had to go off sick as I just wasn't coping. I amended my shifts so that I wasn't doing too many long days in a row, and also told a few seniors under me, so that they were a bit more supportive and sympathetic - rather than overloading me with all their little problems - they actually started solving their own problems and offering to help me when they had capacity. If you told your boss could they get someone else to help out with a little bit with your marking etc temporarily?

[DrSausagedog]

First=girls! Too tired to type!

[DrSausagedog]

It affects people in different ways. I felt so sick today and opened all the windows so I could (hopefully discreetly but probably not at all) keep standing near them and keep gulping down air to stop myself from throwing up. Poor kids must have been freezing!

Then after play I had to make a quick dash to the nearby girls toilets to throw up as adults toilets miles away. Thanks God there were no first in there or would have been humiliating.

Thankfully this afternoon was much better. I feel utterly exhausted this evening though, can't even be bothered to switch the TV on.

You will feel much better in the second trimester I'm sure.

[User1288]

Belager that is really bad, does that child have regular outbursts or was it a one off? It is great your hod sounds supportive, I don't really have anyone other than my line manager but there is not much point telling him as he doesn't get involved with my day to day as such. Anyway, not long until I can reveal all and hopefully everyone understands my moods a little more. Yeah it definitely is a job where it's never enough which makes it so much harder. It just feels like no other pregnant teacher around is having random meltdowns! Maybe as other posts have mentioned...it all calms down by the time people can see the bump! Shame most of the issues seem to be most severe when no one actually knows you are pregnant.

[Belager]

I'm more tired, but I'm having a rough pregnancy! Last term I couldn't mark though. my HOD was aware from quite early on, there's a v temperamental child that has attacked me in my class, and just assured me to do what I can.
Unfortunately we are all in the job where it's never enough!

[User1288]

I am so glad I have a chance to share this with other teachers and be completely honest about this. Like some of you, I am not only very irritable but also exhuasted. Shopoholic- workload is another issue which I can normally deal with but my extreme tiredness is making everything seem a million times worse. I have 5 sets of A level essays to mark and haven't stayed up long enough to get anything done. I can't stay in school because I'm unproductive and just moody. I am also HOD which just adds to it all. For those further along, does the tirdness get worse?
Ktkaye I think I would cry at the thought of an observation right now! I hope it went OK in the end :)

I am planning to tell the head and my dept. next week after my 12 week scan because I am paranoid something is going to go wrong before then. I can't get negative thoughts out of my mind and don't want to have awkward conversations with people if things go wrong. Helbelle, I hope you feel better, it sounds like you need to go home. I can't imagine going on a trip right now so good luck! I guess these are all things all pregnant women go through but the nature of the job can make it feel lonely and very stressful - I am going to have to keep reminding myself how to behave normally for now!

[Helbelle75]

I've had to come home today, I'm exhausted to the point of feeling dizzy. I think I'm going to have to tell them soon, particularly as I'm going to France with them in a few weeks.
It sounds daft but I really didn't realise the first few weeks of pregnancy would have such an impact on my body!

[shopaholic85]

Another secondary teacher here. You're only human OP, and everyone has days like that, pregnant or not. It will all be forgotten by next week. When are you planning to tell work? I think it will be easier when people know so they can support you.

Is anyone else really struggling with the workload? I normally stay in school until 5/6pm and mark books, but have been too tired to this week and haven't had the energy to carry them home either. Which means I haven't marked anything all week

[Wait4nothing]

I'm at the other end and getting a bit emotional again - luckily I teach little ones and they are lovely (most of the time) so my emotions (mostly crying although a bit snappy the other night) are taken out on my colleagues. Hormones definitely settled for most of 2nd/3rd trimester for me (from about 12 weeks - 36 weeks).
I finish next week and I'm really looking forward to it now!