Boyfriend hasn't told any of his friends I'm pregnant!!

[nicolah132]

So I'm 26 weeks pregnant... Our families know we are expecting as do all my close friends, as far as I know my boyfriend has told his best friend and that's it, we don't see his friends often so they wouldn't know unless he told them but he hasn't! Re pregnancy was a shock for both of us as we wasn't officially together then but we are now! He hasn't told his work either! It's starting to get me down!! Also he has said he doesn't want anything in Facebook about the baby.. I
feel as though it's almost as if
he's ashamed that I'm
pregnant! Even though when we are together he is constantly talking about the baby! Ive spoke to him and asked why he hasn't said anything and his said his work don't need to know but why wouldn't they!!! Im starting to lose my cool and need some advice please!

[Cheshirehello79]

I think you're just over reacting and it's not a big deal. Both your close people know so it's not like he's ashamed - I'm sure they are the most important people to you guys. What will you gain from him advertising it on fb and going round texting all his mates? Congrats? Baby grows ?


I think you need to come down don't stress yourself over nothing and enjoy your pregnancy. If I were you though I would have a conversation in regards to if he wants paternity leave at work and when he's going to tell his HR that's about it !

Congrats :-)

[ARV1981]

I don't think it's strange. My dh hasn't really announced it, though he has told work so he gets paternity leave (I think he thinks it's a holiday...)

We've told friends when we've seen them, but not done the whole fb thing. Family knows obviously, which is the main thing!

[Cornberry]

I wouldn't necessarily worry. Some people are more private and frankly men are weird. I'm 35 weeks and discovered that my dad hadn't told any of his family the other day. I actually didn't feel like announcing it so I told people as I saw or spoke to them.

[jaykay34]

My DP was the same.
And when he did eventually post a facebook pic of him and his new baby, and everyone was like "wow you kept that quiet", he replied "i wanted to make sure he got here safely first".
My DP isn't a showy person, and I quite liked the fact that we weren't yet another scan photo on the newsfeed on facebook .

[blowinahoolie]

Not an issue. DH doesn't talk about my pregnancies unless there's a reason to say something...some of his friends don't know I'm pregnant and I'm 35 weeks pregnant at the moment. I prefer it that way and have asked him not to broadcast it. Only certain people locally know I'm pregnant and obvious family members. Many far away friends don't know I'm pregnant as I don't want them to know until there is a birth announcement.

[chelle792]

I have a friend like this exactly the same situation. He's a typical man and although excited about baby hasn't told everyone about it. I think he just likes to keep his life to himself and tells relevant people as and when. In fact, maybe you are this person!

[33goingon64]

I wouldn't worry. DH and I are both reasonably low key with pgs - I tell friends when I see them. We didn't do a FB announcement and won't when baby arrives either. His work do need to know soon as he has to request paternity leave, but I think you should let him tell people in his own time. The important thing is that he's keen talking about it with you.

[Sapat]

My dh was the same, he didn't want to tell anyone with our first, it was getting quite embarrassing bumping into people. It is not like it was a shock, we had been ttc for 2 years! He was fine with our subsequent pregnancies.

[VeryEarlyDays]

Sorry this has made you so upset.
I have to say it's a different world for men when expecting. I know while I was getting lots of smiles from strangers on the street and women telling me it was going to be the best time of my life etc etc my partner was getting lots of slaps on the back and your life is over mate type banter. I remember dropping my car at the garage once and when my Dp came to pick me up the mechanic looked pointedly at my bump and said to him "that's teach you for not keeping it in your pants!!" the
maybe he is just trying to avoid such bollocks

[LorelaiVictoriaGilmore]

Sorry, I should have said that my DH only got away with telling his firm so late because they will just keep paying his salary for two weeks so government funding doesn't come into it. Depends on employer.

[RooibosTeaAgain]

He has to formally inform work by week 25 of your pregnancy if he wishes to take one or two weeks of paternity leave in most jobs - as this is government policy not work policy and due to funding paternity leave.

[LorelaiVictoriaGilmore]

My DH was the same! I found it so strange that he didn't tell his friends for ages... Even his friends who also have kids! It did hurt my feelings a little bit but it wasn't because he isn't excited... He's just a really private person and a bit shy about talking about himself. I'm 35 weeks and he only just asked his work for paternity leave... Luckily they didn't mind that he'd left it so late.

[Scotinoz]

I wouldn't worry. My husband spoke to his HR department at the last possible moment to arrange paternity leave, and told perhaps three other people I was pregnant (on both occasions). They just don't need to share the same way women do.

And as for Facebook. I don't put stuff on FB so I don't think it's that weird.

[GotTheKey]

I think it's a man thing. My pregnancy was planned yet DH didn't have the same urge to go tell all his friends as I did. And to be honest they didn't really care anyway as they're all still quite immature lol. He told the ones who he knew would like to hear the good news and was excited to do that.
We didn't do an official Facebook announcement as I find them a bit cringe but will put bits on there occasionally.
He also doesn't want photos of the baby posted on FB but that's because he works in IT/computers and says it should be their choice as to whether a photo is posted online and once it's on there it never goes apparently! Men eh!
He will be excited though, don't worry. It's just man brain!

[natjayne213]

I can see where he is coming from.. I have only told people I need too. Personally think it is my life and especially at work I don't want fake congratulations or the gossiping that takes place.

We have kept it off Facebook too.. and I don't need to have a massive birth announcement on there.

Maybe he is just a private person

[mrstothemr]

The friend thing would bother me too... Maybe if he can tell you why it'd be better. Is it the case that they're not important / he likes it just being private / he likes the idea of surprising them later when they do meet? Given he's so happy to talk baby it doesn't sound like there's an awful root to it, but I'd need more answers before I'd be happy.

[BowiesJumper]

He would be sensible to tell his work, so that he can take paternity or holiday when the baby arrives. Or is he not planning on/able to do that?

[scarednoob]

i can see why it bothers you, but there could also be a totally innocent reason for it. i haven't put it on facebook or told anyone other than good friends and family, just because i am terrified that something might still go wrong. when she is here, i will post pictures and scream it from the rooftop!

i would talk to him about it. tell him that it makes you feel insecure and he might be able to explain himself.

[changingagain]

I don't want to put anything on fb apart from maybe 1 photo as a birth announcement. I also haven't told anyone who I haven't seen since looking obviously pregnant apart from close family. If I didn't need to tell work then I wouldn't, in fact if I could get away with it, I would be happy to tell no-one but DH.

I am definitely not ashamed or in any way unhappy to be pregnant though.

[Runningupthathill82]

Sounds v normal to me. My DH hasn't text any of his friends to tell them I'm pregnant, he'll just mention it if/when he sees them.

Your DP should tell HR at work soon though, if he's planning on taking paternity leave.

[Christelle2207]

I never announced anything on fb until baby was born, though some pics of me with a bump found their way in. We didn't "announce" to anyone in fact just mentioned in conversation when we saw people.
I would be worried if he hadn't told anyone but he has told the people who matter.
He needs to tell his employer for pat leave though.

[starlight2007]

I am a little torn on this one..

Is this him saying you can't put anything on FB or he doesn't want to put it on his FB?

if the first is the case there is something more to this.

If it is the later it could be just the blokes way of dealing with these things.

[Ragwort]

I think you are over reacting - I told as few people as possible, why would his work need to know?

Harsh as it sounds, not everyone is that interested in whether or not you are having a baby.

Thank goodness I had a baby years before Facebook existed. .

[Nolim]

Sounds pretty normal to me. We only told the necessary ppl at work. We didnt post on fb.

[stardusty5]

Seems fair enough if he is a private person and i know lots of people who don't want things on Facebook. It can come across quite show offy if done the wrong way. People don't need to know, and sometimes when they do it becomes the only thing they want to talk about. I hate talking about myself.