Smoking

[Ads99]

Hi,
I'm 14 weeks pregnant and finding it really hard to give up smoking completely. A friend told me the stress associated with giving up is far worse than a social cigarette here and there. Anyone got any advice on giving up or the risks please.

[PlentyOfPubeGardens]

I think the OP needs a bit more support here.

[ChippingInLatteLover]

You can do it.

The question is Do you want to do it?

We don't know you, so it's hard to know which approach will help you really. But you need to accept that this 'being stressed giving up is worse' is total bullshit. An excuse for some women to keep smoking.

With health stuff I work best when I'm scared into 'behaving' so we'll go with that. Read no further if you don't want to be scared into it.

Would you lean over the cot of a brand new baby and blow smoke in its face? If not, why is it ok because your baby is inside you?

One of you is going to have to go cold turkey, you get to choose if it's you now or your baby when they're born.

Google healthy lungs v smokers lungs and picture your growing baby in both those environments. It's not exactly the same, but near enough.

Read the statistics re cot death when the mother has smoked through the pregnancy.

There's plenty more out there to scare yourself into stopping. But you have to be prepared to do it. If not now, when?

[BigCatFace]

Hi OP, I struggled to quit to. I cut down to 2 a day from pretty much the start, then a few a week. That was so much more stressful than just stopping, which I did at 24 weeks. I relapsed a few times but didn't pick it up again and am now 38 weeks and don't smoke. I feel a lot LESS stressed now I don't, the guilt was killing me.

My advice is don't eke it out, especially if you're smoking very lightly. Stop, keep busy and yeah, might be a grotty few days but that's all. I still crave them but as time passes it gets a lot easier as you do more and more without cigarettes. Talk to your MW too. Good luck x

[itsnotmeitsyou1]

I think the OP needs a bit more support here. Some of us can give up cold turkey, or never smoke at all, other people need a bit more help. That's nothing to be ashamed of.

What helps me is having something to distract me when I get a craving. Pick up a magazine, do a sudoku, chew on a damn pen (I have ruined many a pen in stress!). Try and avoid situations that normalise the habit, eg ask friends/family politely not to smoke around you or mention it. Keep a bottle of water on you at all times, sip it when you feel an urge, it really does help!

It is important that you try and quit, of course. However you will cause yourself more stress if you beat yourself up every time you give in. Write 'remember why I'm quitting' on all your packets, it may help you not light up more often.

I'm lucky, the only person I know who smokes is my boss. I think it makes it easier in real life if you have a good support system in place. It's very easy to sit behind a screen and this out 'just quit, you selfish woman', it won't actually help at all. Everyone breaks their bad habits in their own way.

[Fanfeckintastic]

Also, just to continue on from the fact my placenta was that of a smokers even though I literally had my last smoke on the way back from the chemist after buying the test but my mother was dying of lung cancer and smoked around me (I never told her the affects it had on my placenta/baby) but my mam also had a miscarriage before she had me and blamed it completely on smoking (though she smoked on me also and I had to be taken to ICU when I was born) but it REALLY paved her whole life. My dad said she was never the same after the miscarriage and blamed herself completely.

Please try to stop, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty but it does harm your baby please don't try to convince yourself otherwise.

brummie I'm so sorry for your losses, I really hope things work out for you

[TurquoiseDress]

Hi OP good luck with quitting, it's great you're looking into various resources & areas of support.

A friend of mine smoked all the way through pregnancy a couple of years back and if anyone asked about it she used to trot out the line "my GP says it's better to not to quit completely as the stress of this is worse for the baby"
Personally I don't know any medical professional who would say that (I'm one myself).

[mswibble]

Another way to think of it is, you're talking how hard it is for you to quit. Imagine that you carry on smoking throughout your pregnancy, well your baby will be quitting cold turkey as soon as its born. You think its hard for you, well how is a new born baby going to cope with it?

Sorry if that comes across as really harsh, I was a very happy 20 a day smoker before my BFP. The morning I found out my pack of cigs were binned (there were 9 left!) and never looked back. I found it incredibly easy but I think that was due to the constant nausea I had for my first trimester. I tried to quit many times before and always failed. OH still smokes (in the back yard but I still hate the smell of it when he comes back in) but I'm not going to force him into anything, that's his own battle. He knows he has to quit and time is running out!

[ambientolf]

I found out last Tuesday and gave up cold turkey Wednesday so nearly 5 days without nicotine. Im hoping little one can now breathe much better then he/she could before. Please don't feel upset, I guess it was just easy for me plus I really can't afford to smoke & have a baby (although I enjoyed smoking) anyway! Far too expensive. I am now trying to get DH to quit which is proving more difficult but everyone is different & I feel bad that your finding it so hard. If you need any non - smoking support then let me know. The NHS app is great plus they send you texts & emails to keep you motivated.

[ArabellaStrange]

I had hypnosis to give up smoking when pregnant with my dd. It worked. Cost about forty pounds.
Alan Carr is also a good suggestion.
For me, the damage that I would be inflicting on my unborn child meant that I had to find a way to stop. And I did.

[cosmicglittergirl]

I gave up smoking in my first pregnancy as soon as I found out which was luckily at the beginning. I won't lie the first week was really hard, but it got better. PP have mentioned the help you can get, the midwives will be supportive not judgmental. You won't enjoy the smoking you do while pregnant as it'll rack you with guilt. All the best in giving up.

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

www.patient.co.uk/doctor/sudden-infant-death-syndrome
Evidence

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

The stress argument is bollocks. Giving up nicotine is physiologically negligible, it's only psychologically difficult. By which I mean you will be irritated and ratty but your baby will be unaffected when you quit. However, smoking is absolutely, categorically damaging for your child.

If this helps - the association between cot death and maternal smoking is significant. Imagine going through 9 months of pregnancy and birth just for your baby to die in her sleep, just because you didn't give up fags. Not a pretty thought.
I recommend the Allen carr easyway book, it works and it's totally painless.

[Rumplestrumpet]

You have my sympathy OP, I can imagine how distressing this is for you. I was a 20 a day smoker for over 10 years and quit overnight and never looked back. I never even had a craving and now, 9 years on, I find it hard to believe that cigarettes were such a central part of my life for so long.
I used the Allen Carr "Easyway to quit smoking" book and it was like a revelation ! I can't recommend it strongly enough. It costs about the same as a packet of fags, so hardly a difficult investment. I know it has worked for thousands and thousands of people around the world. Just go into it with an open mind, follow all the steps in the book and keep an open mind.
Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy !

[Horseradishes]

It's time to quit. Every time that you want a cigarette, visualise the poisons going to your baby, that incentivised my friend to quit.

[snapple]

So sorry for your losses brummigirl

Op I was very stressed during both my pregnancies but do not smoke. My babies were thankfully heathy.

My mil smoked and both her children were ill.,the asthma of my bil was so chronic and he had asthma since being a young baby. She did eventually give up thankfully but it was very hard for her. I am asthmatic and I can not tell you how awful I find smoking when I am out and about. But I understand that it is an addiction.

Please give up. Seek all the support you need. Do it for yourself and your baby. Good luck!

[gamerchick]

There used to be a smudge of truth about the stress being worse but you would have to be more or less a chain smoker and it doesn't apply now really with all the alternatives to smoking there are out there.

You don't have to smoke to get a nicotine fix.

[Macey78]

I went to see a hypnotherapist as soon as I found out I was pregnant. It worked a treat for me. Don't get me wrong still have the odd fly by thought oh I could really do with a fag but never act on it.

[OhMjh]

OP, you don't need to be made to feel any more guilty than I'm sure you already feel. It's a known fact smoking is bad, but you need some guidance, not to be bombarded with all of the risks associated with smoking which, again, I'm sure you already know.

I'm another one who will admit I'm a former smoker - not a heavy one, no more than 8 a day. I will admit that i smoked the odd few during my pregnancy, mainly related to stresses I encountered ( cheating partner, lost my job), but every one I smoked, the guilt outweighed that few moments of 'relief'.

It is hard, even when your whit pregnant, but it is worth it. It isn't a question of risking it, because you'd kick yourself if anything happened to that baby. As a previous poster said, every one you don't smoke is a plus. Instead of going cold turkey, cut down, and down until you just stop.

[Brummiegirl15]

I'm going to sound harsh here without meaning to.

I've just had my 3rd miscarriage - I have no kids yet, and I'm grieving for my 3rd lost baby.

Your baby has the chance to be healthy but you are carrying on with smoking and that will harm your beautiful baby. Whatever Penny might say of how her dc's were ok, smoking during pregnancy will harm your baby.

I did every thing I was supposed to do, and still mine didn't survive.

Please please please, for the sake of your unborn child speak to your midwife about the help and support you can get.. It is out there and it will make a huge difference.

Yes it will be hard, And to be honest, the same way I'm going to have to suck it up grieving for my 3rd loss during the week of my first due date, you are going to gave to suck it up (pardon the pun) of getting through the cravings.

If saying this makes me a bitter bitch then so be it. But your baby would be here and healthy, my 3 aren't.

Soapbox rant over

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

OP have you read the advice on smoking and newborns - changing clothes and waiting a set time before holding them again. You going to do all that? Leave your baby indoors alone while you pop outside at regular intervals to smoke?

Quitting during pregnancy is the right thing to do.

[yummymango]

Women who smoke during pregnancy are putting their baby at risk of many things as said above, including asthma. I have lived with asthma and it's not something I would risk giving to my children. It can be life threatening, many hospital visits and stays and even when it's controlled it means drugs for life which can have side effects. I know how hard it is to give up - but there is a lot of support out there.

[magpieginglebells]

OP- please access help, there is plenty out there via your midwife. Babies with mothers who smoke are at higher risk of stillbirth and sids so it's really important to give up.

[Fanfeckintastic]

I really feel for you OP.

Ecigs are far far safer. When I was pregnant with DD my mother was dying of lung cancer and still smoking (don't blame her to be honest as she was given 6 months) but she lived in a small apartment and I spent a lot of time around her smoking. At my last scan the doctor asked if I smoked because my placenta was that of a smokers. I didn't even live with DM and I worked full time too but still the passive smoke had caused damage. This isn't to make you feel guilty but just to show how dangerous even the odd one is for an unborn child.

[WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat]

Afraid Penny your anecdote doesn't really mean anything in the grand scale of things. Just because your daughters were lucky enough to avoid health complications caused by your inability to put their well being before your 'need', doesn't detract from the fact that smoking regularly causes long term health problems, low birth weight, premature birth and increase in stillbirth and incidence of SIDS. The op needs to seek the help that is available to stop smoking and no amount of anecdotes will prove otherwise.