Being scared of childbirth..

[ohthegoats]

.. I have a question that I hope won't offend anyone - it's not intended to, just a genuine query, but my opinion of it might be offensive I suppose. It's something I've read about loads on here.

People post about being pregnant, but being terrified (or other word considered worse than anxious or scared) of childbirth, and wanting an ELCS.

First, it's not a surprise that childbirth is part of pregnancy right? So why would someone choose to be pregnant without having sorted out trying to deal with the fear first?

Second, no one loves it surely? It hurts, we all know that before we get pregnant. Pretty much everyone over the age of about 8 knows that childbirth hurts. It is a scary or potentially anxiety causing event, most medical things are.

Third, a C-section isn't a walk in the park either, some recoveries can be horrible, and it's major abdominal surgery. So what makes it such a better option?

Is the fear really about the unknown aspects of vaginal birth? How things don't go to plan very often? Some fear of hospitals and medical professionals (I can absolutely understand that one!)? Lack of control in vaginal birth?

I am tending to think that if you are 'terrified' of childbirth, are already pregnant, and are going in to consultants to 'demand' C-sections (which some people on here are advised to do in some threads), then you should also be prepared to pay privately for your surgery. I know someone will come along and say that a C-section is only x amount more money than a vaginal birth etc, because they always do, but it's still more money out of a cash strapped NHS.

I'm terrified of labour! But I want a baby enough to go through with it. I would never ask for an elective c section just to get out if it. I'm still completely dreading the pain though and I think for some women the gradual realisation of how painful and long it can be (combined with all the horror stories people insist on telling us) the anxiety about the labour could become completely overwhelming.

One thing I have really noticed with my pregnancy is how I've started to feel quite anxious almost all the time. I've always been a bit of a 'worrier' but never suffered with proper anxiety in my life, but in the last few months I've been really struggling with it. I think it's related to all the various aspects of pregnancy (lack of sleep, worry about the baby, worry about the future, worry about my job and just the combination of all the million new emotional and physical changes we're suddenly faced with). I have to admit, I totally underestimated how difficult it would be to do my job pregnant. So I think in some cases a normally level headed, realistic woman who felt she could cope with labour before becoming pregnant might go on to develop anxiety over the course of her pregnancy (specifically about the labour) and this might become so overwhelming that she would request a c section.

Ohthegoats mental health is NOT a lifestyle created issue though. If someone damaged their pelvis in a car crash, would you say they should pay to have a child? You don't choose mental health issues and a bit of counselling doesn't always work.
I think that is what you're getting confused here. It is NOT like obesity causing heart issues. It's more like a congenital issue with the heart.

C sections have been around forever. My interpretation of personal responsibility is someone choosing to opt for a medically widely available procedure when she suspects she might have difficulty with vb which might lead to inflicting shoulder dystocia on her baby. Seems extremely reasonable to me, don't you think OP?

Phobias are mental health issues, I don't see why they should be catered for by the NHS.

Phobias by their very nature aren't logical - so saying a c-section carries issues as well doesn't diminish a birth phobia.

And if getting pregnant and keeping the baby count as a lifestyle choice to you (bearing in mind many loved babies are accidental, so it would never be as simple as just "don't get pregnant") ... Do you think women with pnd should pay up? After all they "chose" not to terminate then got tormented by a mental illness, so using that logic their illness was caused by a lifestyle choice.

I find it utterly offensive that you equate

1. Mental illness
2. The decision not to terminate if you're imperfect and fall pregnant

... With "lifestyle" health concerns like smoking and obesity. Please do tell where your cut off lies. If someone chooses to cross the street knowing cars can run them over, is that a lifestyle related injury? What about someone who is so scared of that they can't go out ... should they not have home help if counselling doesn't work?

Phobias, OCD, PMSL etc are NOT lifestyle illnesses.
Furthermore a woman's right to choose means she should NEVER have to think "oh I'm pregnant but have a phobia (perhaps she was abused or knew someone who died in childbirth let's say). I can't afford a cesarean so I better have an abortion. That's the morally right thing to do to save jo public a quid or two"
Bluntly, that is what you're just asking about and it's quite horrific.

I'm not sure what the point or purpose of this thread is?

Your post comes across as quite smug and condescending.

You may as well just say to women that they should "just get on with it", of course you know that childbirth will hurt dear but you simply must get on with it.

Just tell all the silly people with those nonsensical and irrational fears to keep a stiff upper lip.

Hollie84 the nhs has always treated mental health (not always well) - why shouldn't they treat phobias?

Sorry, my post should say "I don't see why they shouldn't be catered for".

Ah ok that makes more sense now re reading. :)

Who on earth gave you authority to make sweeping statements about what type of birth is right for another woman?

A vaginal birth may be right for you, that's marvellous.

A planned section may be right for another woman, what does it have to do with you?

Are you concerned about the economy? Even if you are, I very much doubt it's the women who are giving birth by an elective section that have the NHS on it's knees.

Dotty, that's a very valid point.

No matter your opinion on the subject, the huge financial problems of the NHS would not be solved by no longer offering C Sections to this relatively small sector of women.

I work in the NHS and, believe me, cutting clinical services has not helped to save money. It's a false economy.