Things you wish you were told...

[ToonLass]

Hello,

I am 28wks and starting to seriously think about everything I need to get organised.

Wanting to know if there's anything you wish you had been told prior to the arrival if your wee one - anything from pram choices/hospital bags/pain relief/delivery options/feeding etc etc

Any advice would be gratefully received :)

[redexpat]

Start putting nipple cream on your nipples from 37w if you plan on bf.

The recovery is tough. I couldnt sit up for 2 days because of the pain from the stitches. Then when I could move around, I could feel my insides knocking about. You know how you can feel water slshing in a half full bottle in a packpack? Something like that. Had to get a girdle for support.

If your baby will be wearing socks, makes sure when you put them into the wash that they go in a delicates bag so they dont get lost and clog up your machine.

[acjfluff]

Remember that your baby won't have read any books so don't worry if he/she doesn't do what you expect from what you've read. Or what you've been told.

Sitting down hurts! I sort of vaguely knew I'd be sore but I didn't know I'd need gas and air for my stitches or that sitting down and getting up would make me cry.

You're not spoiling your baby by cuddling him/her. It's allowed. Cuddle all day if you want to- one day you'll have to pin them down for cuddles!

[CrystalQueen]

I felt like a right fool trying to do up the studs on DD's babygro in the hospital - take five minutes and practise! But your baby won't really care if their vest is on backwards...

[mrsannekins]

Don't bother with cute outfits...sleep suits and vests are the way to go.

The way to extract small baby from a super explosive poo soaked vest is to wriggle the opening down over their shoulders and then down the body.

Also, following in from the above, always have a fresh un-folded ready to go nappy immediately to hand as there is usually more poo waiting to come out just as you remove the first nappy.

Buy the thickest maternity pads you can find and LOADS of them. If you have a tear/epi/stitches/generally tender down there, soak in witch hazel and pop in the fridge for a bit AH-MAZING

Guests are welcome within reason, but they must work for their newborn snuggles..I make a point when I visit friends with newborns of offering help with any random chores like hanging up washing, doing the washing up etc, and made others do the same for me!

[kkllww]

I wish I'd been told about the explosive poo. This came as quite a shock to me and husband when changing one of the early nappies and baby let one go which hit the wall opposite!

[AcademicOwl]

Ah! The joy of decent maternity type sanitary towels is not to be underestimated. You know the thick awful ones that you'd never normally use? Think of them as mini pillows for a sore perineum. Esp if you have an episiotomy (which sounds awful but much better than a horrible tear). And or stitches.

And baths for sore perineums are also amazing; I'm normally a shower fan, but a bit of lavender oil in a nice warm bath helps no end... And I don't recommend trying a shower immediately after delivery when the midwife offers you a nice bath. I went v wobbly in the shower after ds :)

Yes to pain with b/f in first 6wks (but stick at it, it gets better); yes to after pains (ouch!); and yes to instincts.

[Greenstone]

Jenninlw can I just double check what you said... your breastfed baby was sleeping through the night at 6 weeks?!

[Chloebw]

It's ok if things don't work out and you can't breast feed

[hashtagwhatever]

I agree after pains.
Didn't get them with my 3 dc then I had my fourth and they were actually more painful than the labour.

[KateG2010]

That breast-feeding can be really difficult, especially if there's a delay in the milk coming in. Contrary to what a lot of midwives told me, a proper latch does hurt, and even though the latch may look OK from the outside, it might not be. In retrospect the NHS breast feeding workshop I went to that implied it was all very natural and always 'just worked' was naively optimistic!

[WhyOWhyWouldYou]

breastfeeding is a nightmare and isnt always in the best interests of dc or mother.

The thing that i was told that was really useful is buy 2 identical teddies. put both in yours and dps bed now. when baby is birn you give them one of the teddies (it will smell like you/dp so be comforting for dc). Then you rotate the two teddies (incase you ever loose one, so dc wont know). The person who told me this swore it was why her 3dc slept through the night from really young and my ds slept through (a full 12hr by 9weeks) (maybe it was coincidence but he did and still does seem to get a lot of comfort from his bear even now at 2.5yrs).

[Jenninlw]

Like others have said bf really hurt nipples at first but gets easier if baby latches well. For the pain I recommend getting those reusable bf pads called lily pads - don't use them as breast pads - wash them in water and put them in the freezer and after feeding pop them in your bra - bliss!!!!

Lanisoh breast pads are the best - johnsons ones stuck to my nipples.

If you want to pump milk for oh to do feeds etc do it in the morning when ur supply is good - sit down in a comfy position, stick tv on and relax - then when you get your let down of milk (you can feel it coming) on the side baby is feeding from start pumping from other side. I used to get 4-5oz a day and had loads of those freezer milk bags for when I wanted to start back at the gym or have a night off.

Some days baby will feed ALL day - aaarrrgh! You'll think u you don't have enough for them - and it's incredibly draining on your emotions - But this is just baby getting your supply up for a growth spurt and the next day or so you'll have loads of milk for them and it will go back to normal until the next time!

Also i found my baby did not like taste of nipple cream so clean it off really well before feeding.

Don't try routines too early. First few nights my dd needed quite a lot of holding which before she was born I was determined not to do - but in the end she wanted cuddles, feeding and to feel safe and warm so I worked towards gradually decreasing the time I held her at night and eventually she was sleeping through at night by 6 weeks.

The advice to make it obvious between day and night is very useful . Even if you are up at night keep all the lights off while you settle them, feed them etc.

My dd hated baths at first - screamed the house down. She's liked a warm towel when she got out which helped a bit, and we persevered until she got used to it!

Good luck - I'm 23 weeks with my second and I'm so excited to do all the tiny baby stuff again!

[YouaintDolly]

Best advice I was given was to trust my instincts. It's amazing how you just know what to do and when. I was sure I needed to go to hospital. Spoke to midwife who advised me to stay at home as this was my first and labour will last a while. Insisted, went in at 11.30 and gave birth at 1.45 pm.
Also, blood clots! I wish somebody had warned me about these. Got the bloody fright of my life when I started losing tennis ball sized clots. Not painful, just unexpected! I was convinced my internal organs were falling out

[TwigletFiend]

They soon pink up but that's still the first thing he tells dads-to-be and dd1 is almost 16 so he's clearly still traumatised.



Poor Mr. Fairypants!

[MATB1]

Lift vests and babygros right up out the way under their backs when changing them. And only a fool changes a 5 day old baby directly on the Moses basket rather than a change mat totally forgetting that pulling little legs up will squish little tummies and make the contents squirt out

[ToonLass]

This is my first littlepeapod...going to google it once I have had my dinner lol

[Fairypants]

Yy to the nightie/bundler for boys and girls. I used them for night time and found it so much easier not having to cope with poppers whilst still half asleep.
Tip from my DH to any birth partners- the baby is an awful grey colour as it comes out. DH really thought something had gone awfully wrong in those first few moments when dd1 was born. They soon pink up but that's still the first thing he tells dads-to-be and dd1 is almost 16 so he's clearly still traumatised.

[LittlePeaPod]

Sorry op that's sounds ridiculous. I meant any other kids. . I feel like a total goon!

[LittlePeaPod]

I take it you don't have kids Toon? It's the plug that closes the cervix when a woman is pregnant.

[ohthegoats]

Google it. Probably not while you're eating!

[ToonLass]

Thank you for so many great tips and pieces of advice

One question....what on EARTH is a mucus plug??

[Cordial]

Guests are only welcome if they bring food and wash up

[Cordial]

How much your whole body aches after labour. For me personally pain across the bra strap line made worse by getting to grips with bf. Heat patches good for comfort. Get lavender and tea tree oil for nice baths after birth!

[Wrcgirl]

If you breast feed it may be natural and lovely, or it may be agony for six weeks and non stop too, but your nipples do harden up and it gets better.
My waters did not go, they broke them near the end to try and help me speed up, I was worried they would break on some ones sofa/ while I was out. They refused to break lol.
The first year goes soooo quick really really really take time just to love and be with your baby...housework is always there!

[sarahfa83]

One thing that I wish someone told be before I had my 1st was to take copies of my maternity notes as they take them away before you are discharged and give you the red book. I really wish I had all of that info so to compare with this pregnancy and as a bit of a memory.

May be different in other parts of the country but Kent take the notes so will be photocopying this time round.

x