So how will I know how to take care of a newborn?

[Estrella1]

Hi,

I have absolutely no experience with babies. I have no siblings, and friends with babies. My mum, on whose advice I was counting said that she actually forgot everything as it was more than 30 year ago :-)I started to worry about how will I know/ who will teach me how to bath a baby, swaddle, hold him etc. NCT courses ,as I understand, are not focusing on after delivery life. I read books, but I can't read all book in the world and I find it hard so far to put theory into practice. So what do I do?

[Redling]

My Hospital run a 'preparing for baby' workshop, I'm going in two weeks. I think it might be mainly breastfeeding but with a bit of practical info. Check to see if your HA do it?

[Nyancat]

if you are anything like me you won't have a clue what you are doing, but you sort of muddle through and then realise you've kept the baby alive for a day, then 2 days, then a week and like that and just when you get the hang of one thing a new thing.starts!

[MetalLaLa]

I believe the Birth to Five book is available online, it was a few months ago as I was told it was and found it on the NHS website.

[neversleepagain]

The more you do it the easier it will be. After 3 or 4 weeks things like nappy changes, bathing and feeding will be like second nature.

[Estrella1]

sleeplessbunny, that is very kind of you, thank you for offering! i 'll check with midwife when I can.

[sleeplessbunny]

I didn't think the NHS give out the Birth to Five book anymore? I agree it is helpful, ask your midwife if you will get a copy. I got one for DD but not for DS (born this year) and I was under the impression it had gone with cost cutting. If you won't be getting one, I can send you mine if you PM me your address.

[slightlyinsane]

I don't know anyone who didn't have a panic at the thought of looking after their 1st. I will never forget the terrified look on my brothers face when I handed my dd over to him.
Like many people I'd never had anything to do with babies before my 1st, never held one, changed one, fed one, I'd just looked at them.
You will be surprised how much comes naturally, it's an old cliche but so true. AAslong as you know there is a front and back to nappies you'll figure it out, I still get that wrong after changing bums for a solid 9 1/2 yrs.
Ask your mw to show you how to bath them the "correct" way and then you'll find your own way of holding them in the water.
As for swaddling I'm still working on that, one of my 5 wk old twins manages to wriggle out every night and travel the cot!
Once you been thrown in to parent hood you'll wonder why you were worried about it all, then they'll upset everything with a nappy that's leaked everywhere leaving you wondering where the blinking heck to start and how on earth can they getpoo upto their neck! Still baffles me.
It's hard work but soooooo worth it

[ContinentalKat]

Some excellent advice here, Estrella. And remember, all these really competent mums you see around everywhere were once just as clueless as you are.
I remember refusing to leave hospital with dc1 because "I wasn't qualified to look after a baby"... Both kids have so far survived my parenting

Read up, by all means, but because there is so much conflicting advice out there I would say choose one book and stick with it.

[naturalbaby]

The NHS book for the basics, NCT classes did cover some basics and then we had mums in the same situation to meet up with and compare notes. I spent a lot of time at mother and baby groups to talk to other mums for hints and tips.
For everything else there's google and mumsnet.

[Estrella1]

Thanks girls, you made me feel much better.I was about to start panicking. :-)Will speak to midwife when I have my next appointment.

[systemsaddict]

I had no clue at all! The Internet is a wonderful resource :-) and Mumsnet is fantastic. And if you can get to groups to meet mothers with babies the same age that can be very helpful too. You will learn as you go along, and just as you think you've got the hang of it, it will all change. But it's OK, that's how it is for everyone.

[quirkychick]

*decide to, obviously.

Phone also typed breadfeeding! (weaning comes later

They aren't newborns long btw. Congratulations too.

[quirkychick]

If you have your baby in the hospital and have to stay in the nurses make sure you can bath, change nappy etc.

Nhs antenatal course was useful too. As others say not just for what you learn but the other people you meet. Local breastfeeding group (if you decide too) was a life saver too, with great advice and support. Meeting other mums is great.

You learn to do whatever is best for your family and your baby. They are all different!

[snowgirl1]

If you can afford it, sign up for NCT classes and make an effort to get to know the others in your group, e.g. go for coffee before the babies are born to get to know each other. The NCT class will cover bathing, nappy changing etc. and the others in your group will be real life people who are going through the same thing as you that you can get reassurance that you're not doing it all wrong!

[MillyONaire]

Your baby will have no one to compare you to! That was my mantra (I had barely held a baby before having my first) - and my mum admitted that she didn't bath my older brother properly until he was older because she was too terrified he would not survive the experience!!
Like everyone else said: you learn on the job and your baby will not be giving you marks out of ten so you'll learn from your mistakes and be an expert in no time!!

[Zara8]

DH and I had no fecking clue, we had no experience with babies whatsoever.

Ask midwives, HV and Mumsnet for help!! That's what I did.

From being the most hopeless person with babies ever I am now apparently "really good with babies and little children" according to other people. Errr no idea how that happened. If that kind of 180 degree transformation is possible for me, it's possible for any one to be honest!

Don't worry. You'll figure it out as you go along. Even people who have loads of experience with little ones find it a vastly different experience with their own child.

[MrsBeeBeeBee]

Don't be afraid to be tell the midwife you're clueless! She showed us how to do a nappy change, bath baby etc.

And then you just learn as you go. I remember bringing my DD home and her first nappy change at home in late eve took so long she started to go a bit blue from cold! We learnt very quickly to speed up and were experts in no time!

[VSeth]

the NHS run an antenatal day, it used be a few evening sessions but now they do it in a day, I found this to be brilliant as it covered not only labour but the basics of newborn care, bathing, breast/formula feeding, even what clothing and baby kit to buy to get through the first few of weeks.

Ask your midwife at your next check when you can get this booked and look forward to it,

Also Mumsnet is a brilliant resource as are baby groups when baby arrives.

Congratulations on your pregancy and very best wishes for the future, you sound lovely and I am sure that you will be a very caring Mum.

[Monkeyandanimal]

put some form of milk in at one end at frequent intervals, keep the other end clean and give lots of cuddles. if in doubt ask MN.

[lynniep]

what everyone else said! you just do it. you learn on the job. you visit mumsnet/ask a friend/ask your HV/get some books to check if you really aren't sure and mostly you wing it! I had no experience with babies children at 32 so I didn't have a clue either. But I've managed to keep two children alive and the eldest is 7, so if I can do it - you can xx

[Bumpsadaisie]

Tbh it's not rocket science.

Dirty or wet nappy - take old nappy off, clean bottom, dry it, put protecting cream on, put new nappy on.

Baby crying - he is probably hungry or feels lonely and wants you to hold him. Or if he has eaten already and is having a cuddle already he might be feeling overtired and overwhelmed (the worlds a stimulating place for babies) and he might want to sit quietly in a dark room with mummy.

Clothes. Babygrows. Maybe with little Cardi on top and vest under depending on weather. In winter booties and cosy pram suit and hat.

Bath. Run bath, get towel and everything ready. Lower baby into bath. Swill water round a bit. Lift baby out into cosy towel. I went in the bath with both of mine which was lovely.

All these things are practicalities. It doesn't much matter whether you do it way A or way B.

Most important thing is to try to get to know our baby, start to be able to empathise with him and what his experience might be of life and be responsive to his needs and his lead. Of course no one can ever manage this 100% of the time so that baby never experiences any upset or distress in his vulnerable position. But you only need to be good-enough, you don't need to be perfect.

[beccajoh]

Basically it's this. If they're crying: check their nappy, see if they're too hot/cold (fingers inside their vest), try feeding them, try cuddling them (hold upright over your shoulder in case it's a stuck burp). If all else fails stick them in the buggy and take them for a walk. The motion might well send them off to sleep but if not the crying noise doesn't seem so loud outdoors.

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

We did baby care at Nct, it wasn't all about birth.

[hubbahubster]

I was in the same situation but honestly, once you have a baby of your own you just get on with it. They don't need much in the early days, just change their nappy, feed them and let them sleep. Job done. I love that SMA advert where they say 'you've no experience... But the job's yours anyway'. So true! What's also true is the bit at the end when they say 'you're doing great'. Because you will be.

[Kelly1814]

I was just the same, only child, no friends with babies. I was terrified.

In my case I did not just miraculously know what to do as some people say! And I live overseas with no health visitors. Totally alone when home from hospital.

The baby whisperer book really helped me. It has charts which explain their different cries and some helpful gentle routine.

I also watched a lot of videos on YouTube for the practical stuff.

You will be fine, but don't feel bad if you don't instinctively know what to do. Why would you?!