I delivered on gas and air. I was keen to avoid an epidural beforehand. I'm glad i was lucky enough to have a straightforward labour, but I feel kind of differently afterwards - I can absolutely see the merits of epidurals and elective sections, and this is someone who's only really experienced a "good" birth speaking.
I think a lot of it is first time idealism.
Labour pain is no fucking joke!
Having said that, I think if a labour is progressing swiftly and remains straightforward AND a woman prefers to go without pain relief, there are advantages to mum and baby in avoiding them.
Lengthy, more painful, and obviously more complicated labours, including some types of induction - well I think epidurals should be more expected as part of management when things go that way, and in no way a failure at all. No one has a section without analgesia or even considers that they should or that this is failing and I think protracted and less straightforward labours should be viewed in the same light, really. My midwife mate who is very pro-natural birth feels that it's only "natural" to go without pain relief if the rest of the labour is not being medically managed. e.g. She advised me to have an epidural if I ended up being induced.
If someone wants an epidural because they just want one - that's also just personal choice and fair enough in my eyes.
I think it can be a little hard for a birth partner to determine what a woman really wants sometimes. I asked for an epidural near the end of my labour, and was encouraged to remain at home because that was what I'd said I wanted previously. I didn't fight the issue - and if I had I'd have been very angry if they'd refused. But they told me I was doing well, I was coping, it was going well - that was really what I needed at the time, the support. I can't really see how anything would have gone well if they'd put me in an ambulance at that first request, for my already slow labour to no doubt slow further, and how long would it have taken to get an epidural at hospital anyway? I needed that encouragement and I was so grateful for it. So there can be a tricky line between encouragement and denying a woman what she wants, I think. I guess some health care professionals are more skilled at this than others.
The flip side to very valid argument Jcb presents about women's feelings of failure after complicated deliveries, is that many other women are petrified of birth and go to hospital in a state of panic which does not really help labour. So I think this is the philosophy behind some groups when they try and keep antenatal groups positive. I personally think it's a bit of a shit tactic when not backed up by consistent, calm, caring one-on-one midwifery, which all of our hospitals struggle to deliver with staffing levels. And I am definitely not saying many or most women who have complicated labours could have delivered more easily if they'd tried harder or any crap like that. Some labours will always have had complications. But others could have been helped with better support and care and expertise. For every hopelessly idealistic first time mum I know (I was probably one of them) I know a first time mum who expects birth to be a complete horror show. It is extremely hard to labour well when you are terrified. I think being calm and positive really can help some labours - but is it better to put yourself in the best position to labour naturally even though it might inevitably fail, or to accept the statistics that many labours, first time ones in this country particularly, are not "natural" ones and therefore defend yourself against possible disappointment and feelings of failure, but perhaps not give yourself the best chance at labour? It's a tricky balance. We certainly could have better birth outcomes in this country, though as I said above I think this is far more an issue to do with midwifery staffing levels than women's state of mind. And of course we have a different demographic giving birth these days than in previous generations and other countries, so it is not straightforward to compare.
Sorry - bit of a ramble and maybe not exactly on topic. I have tried to tread carefully in what I say because I am very aware of some women's feelings of failure after complicated deliveries - I hope I have not implied anything that would add to any of those feelings, as that is certainly not what I believe. At the end of the day every mum has successfully birthed a baby.