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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

Tips for early pregnancy anxiety?

37 replies

VJONES1985 · 18/12/2013 08:21

Right, I'm five weeks pg and wake up every day thinking I've had a missed mc. I don't know why,I have no reason for this. Some days my symptoms seem to ease, which worries me again.

I have been quite shocked since finding out I was pg. We are over the moon and this is all I've ever wanted but I haven't had a chance to sit down and take it all in properly. Sometimes I just need a cry but I have such a hectic worklife that I just get home in the evenings and sleep.

What can I do to stop feeling like this? I want to enjoy my pregnancy.

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VJONES1985 · 22/12/2013 12:34

Thank you. I will try to step away from it and stop worrying. Unfortunately I know of some people who have seen a heartbeat at 5+6 (which I'll be tomorrow) and that makes me expect to see one too!

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DorotheaHomeAlone · 22/12/2013 12:28

I won't tell you not to worry as that would be totally hypocritical. I really do understand. But you would be very early to see a heartbeat now. My advice is really to step away from mn and the internet, like you did with TTC, and focus on something else. Even now, so early and pre heartbeat the odds are in your favour. Good luck.

VJONES1985 · 22/12/2013 12:17

I see. Yes, thanks. Am kind of wishing I didn't have to have an earl scan and sometimes I think it's a good thing. I can't decide how I feel about tomorrow but if we can't see a hb I am sure I will worry.

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DorotheaHomeAlone · 22/12/2013 12:12

I really don't want to encourage you as it's a terrible habit!But I did a lot of googling about different stats on mc at the different stages. There are about a gabillion studies all with different stats out there but most agree that your risk of miscarriage falls week on week, particularly after you see a heartbeat. By seeing a heartbeat at 8 weeks most of the stuff I read suggested our risk had dropped to around 3-5% at this stage. Obviously this wouldn't apply to you yet as your bean is too small to have got going on the heartbeat probably so not seeing one isn't a bad sign. Does that sort of make sense?

VJONES1985 · 22/12/2013 11:45

Thanks. What is your reading? What does that mean?

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DorotheaHomeAlone · 22/12/2013 11:40

I did find the scan reassuring as a good part of me didn't really believe there was anything in there! Was helpful for convincing dh as well! We caught first go with a quite halfhearted effort so I think we were both still in shock. Now we can tell family over Christmas as my reading suggests our mc rate is down to a less scary 3%.

I'm planning to maintain my new sense of equilibrium by stepping away from the internet over Christmas although, as you can see, that's not happened yet! Hope you get the news you want.

Harryhart · 22/12/2013 11:32

Yes first pregnancy, also it wasn't planned so a bit shock in there as well.

VJONES1985 · 22/12/2013 10:59

I'm glad I'm not the only one! Sarah - you are absolutely right and I'm starting to realise how important the positivity is.

Harry - is this your first pregnancy?

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Harryhart · 22/12/2013 09:52

I'm 6w+3 with no symptoms and usually the sensible pragmatic type, however have turned into a complete wreck over the past fortnight! For some reason I just can't seem to accept that everything is probably ok. Everything you read prepares you for tiredness, sore breasts and feeling sick and I can't accept I might just be lucky and keep obsessing that it must be a mmc. It doesn't help that sickness is apparently a sign of a healthy pregnancy!! So I empathise with what you're going through, I never expected pregnancy to effect me in this way, I feel like I'm going mad!

sarahquilt · 21/12/2013 19:09

The best thing to do is think positively and remember what will be will be. Even if something did happen, you wouldn't be able to do anything about it anyway so there's no point worrying.

bumblebeebzz · 21/12/2013 18:26

I have recently found out I'm expecting my second, not sure how far along I am as I have really long cycles. I think this is what's making me worry the most!
like a PP, I didn't look at internet forums with my first and was blissfully ignorant to all the horror stories.
this time around I'm terrified, I feel like I would be amazingly lucky to have two healthy pregnancies in a row. just taking each day at a time.

Mmolly2013 · 21/12/2013 18:16

wow same dates then lol. I wanted an early scan I thinl because I just don,t believe it right now

VJONES1985 · 21/12/2013 17:50

I'm going to mention it to my diabetes midwife on Monday and dh is coming with me so that will hopefully make me feel a bit calmer.

Yes, I will be seeing my diabetes consultant every two weeks, have more scans than normal and will be in regular contact with the diabetes midwife as as community midwife!

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HandragsNGladbags · 21/12/2013 17:42

Ah I see! In which case you will be under fairly close care anyway? Still worth having a chat about your worries with someone, see if there is anything they can do to reassure you.

VJONES1985 · 21/12/2013 17:40

Thank you :-) The early scan is being done because I'm T1 diabetic so it's something my midwife has arranged.

I don't suffer from anxiety but have always been a big worrier so not sure if this has been worsened by pregnancy or not.

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HandragsNGladbags · 21/12/2013 17:35

Just a couple of things - do you suffer from anxiety generally? If you do it is worth speaking to your midwife to see if they can give you a referral to a mental health midwife. I have been on anti d's for all three pregnancies due to anxiety - this is an existing condition and not caused by the babies.

Secondly, if you are anxious a scan won't help. By the time you get home you will be worried if something has happened since the scan. It is a self perpetuating cycle. That is why it is important to try and find a way to lessen the anxiety. It won't go away, and trust me when the baby is born there are a whole host of other things to worry about!

I'm not trying to be negative, only I have been there, and getting some help for the underlying cause really helps. (hugs)

VJONES1985 · 21/12/2013 17:35

Mmolly - I'm also 5+4 today :-)

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Mmolly2013 · 21/12/2013 17:28

Im 5+4 and i will not be able to wait 12 weeks so was thinking of a private scan so i an tell few close people is it good

VJONES1985 · 21/12/2013 14:45

Thanks, Dorothea, and congrats! Am a bit sad that it may well be too early to see a heartbeat for me on Monday but I hope just having the scan will relax me.

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DorotheaHomeAlone · 21/12/2013 14:42

I understand why you're feeling tense VJ. I'm 8+4 and had my first scan yesterday (private because we wanted to relax and tell family over Christmas). I was an anxious mess in the days before which is very out of character for me. Thankfully all was fine and I do feel a bit better but not entirely chilled! Amazing to see the heartbeat though. Good luck. It's much more likely that everything is fine than not but it's hard to remember that when it's you.

VJONES1985 · 20/12/2013 13:02

So... have my early scan on Monday when I will be 5w6d. Am doing quite well on the positivity front but can't stop freaking out about this. I'm a bit excited but very nervous about bad news. Am praying it will be fine.

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FirstUpBestDressed · 18/12/2013 19:21

Congratulations!

Stay off the internet!
Use a website called www.llttf.com (living life to the full) every day.

All going well you will be a new mum to a lovely wee baby...with lots to worry about, unless you learn how to think more positively!

Good luck

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VJONES1985 · 18/12/2013 19:16

I know you're right about ignoring the internet and horror stories. I do find you ladies supportive but the month I stopped coming on MN was the month I conceived - because I actually relaxed and stopped freaking out about what might happen. So PMA and blissful ignorance it is!

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Smithy007 · 18/12/2013 19:10

To be totally honest (and a bit of a Debbie Downer), the best thing for me was to stay away from any pregnancy forums and only have a peek or two from time to time. Just relax as much as you possibly can, try to treat yourself if possible and take things a day at a time.

I think my happiest pregnancy was with my first back in 2005, when I had very limited access to the internet and was totally ignorant. I'm now on my third and with all the horror stories floating around online, I feel like the more I know the more I have to fear. I agree with positive thinking - most women have uncomplicated pregnancies and healthy babies. My father for example is one of 8!

VJONES1985 · 18/12/2013 19:00

Y dh wouldn't do that unfortunately but I will check out the antenatal boards definitely. Thanks.

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