What to do on mat leave before baby arrives?!

[fl0b0t]

Hi all
I've got 4 days left of work and am getting a bit worried about what people DO on maternity leave before their baby comes? I have a feeling my baby will be late- it's due 17th Sept and I finish work this coming Thursday.

I'm a pretty active person (thought getting more tired and swollen by the second) and worried about being bored- especially if baby is very late! Obviously I know that I'll be slowing down anyway, and that once I've pottered about the house and watched a bit of telly that will be time killed, but I'm so used to doing stuff!

So far my list includes:
-do hypnobirthing (try it)
-library
-swim/walk/cycle (one a day if I can)
-touch up paintwork around the house
-cook & freeze meals
-photography and art
-Bumps & Babies groups

I have already packed hosp bag (had a couple of trips away so had to be prepared), baby room is finished and I think we're pretty much prepared. I do have a few friends with children I can meet up with too.

Anyone got any bright ideas?

(ps I know that relaxing and enjoying my last few weeks of being just a person, not a mummy is really key too)

thanks :-)

[jammiedonut]

Rest. Not because you'll need it when baby is here (what a crock of shite, I'm off to visit the sleep bank to take advantage of all that rest I got at 36 weeks), but because you'll need it. Labour is hard, mentally and physically and your body needs to be in tip top shape to get through it okay. Listen to your body, if you can swim, fantastic but if you need to sleep go for it. I had so many good intentions on maternity leave but as soon as I stopped working 50 hrs a week my body gave up, and I spent a good week on the sofa under a duvet. I didn't even think I was tired, but obviously I needed it. I couldn't actually sleep at night you see, and really had to stop myself planning a day full of activities on 2 hours sleep whilst carrying an extra three stone of baby stuff.

[Cheeseatmidnight]

Don't plan too much - as time goes on you will need to rest! I did lots of pottering, shopping, catching up on tv series I have always meant to watch.

I did have spd though so movement was difficult

[User3433399]

Honestly, rest as much as possible. Just do one small activity per day (like a bumps and babes in the morning), and spend the rest of the time sleeping, watching box sets and doing very low-energy enjoyable things for yourself, like making photo albums and painting your nails (things you won't have time to do for a while after baby comes).

I wish I could go back in time and give myself that advice before my first baby was born! I was doing lots of exercise and loads of social things and generally zipping around saying silly things like 'no, no, I don't need naps...'. What a fool. I had a two day labour with no sleep or rest, and didn't manage to 'catch up' on lost sleep for over six months. I was wrecked.

I'm now expecting DC2, and this time I'll be doing precisely nothing once I finish work apart from taking to my bed with my Kindle every minute DD is at childcare! You may roll your eyes at this (I would have done in my first pregnancy), but trust me

[fl0b0t]

Some great ideas coming in still- though I still find it a bit painful people telling me to sleep (which I would dearly love to do, barring acid reflux, carpal tunnel, wriggly baby and generally not being able to sleep) or do nothing. I do not enjoy doing nothing- I'd rather be at work!!!

Paperwork and finances are a great idea!

[gingertessa]

OP I was in your position exactly a year ago - I'm getting nostalgic! My DD was due on 8th September and born on the 20th, so I had more time on my hands than I expected. You've had some great advice already, and I did most of the things suggested (especially batch cooking, resting, listening to the natal hypnotherapy CD, walking and watching tv) but what I loved most was the pedicures. It felt like such a luxurious treat as I'd never had one before but when I got to the stage where I couldn't reach or see my feet I decided it was a good idea. My midwife complimented me on the colour of my toenails when I went in to have DD :)

If you end up going overdue my advice would be to tell everyone you know not to ask you about it. I got irrationally infuriated by people asking me if I'd had my baby yet; I remember one text from a friend which said "so where's this baby then?" to which I replied "In my uterus."

[peanutMD]

I made 2 Weeks worth of food then the freezer broke when I was in hospital lol

[Monkeyandanimal]

buy all your xmas presents early. and make sure you are sorted for birthday cards, thank you cards and gifts for birthdays and other people's new babies for next while, as pps said. get a haircut. dental checkup. Its a pain to do these with a baby. enjoy your free time! do everything on your to-do lists! i still need to to my wedding album from 2008 and haven't had time since i had kids.

[oscarwilde]

One last one. Bit of a downer too I'm afraid. A very high percentage of women are made redundant/encouraged to pursue other roles/change their mind about returning to work while on maternity leave.

While you are still in the office, if you can find the motivation I REALLY recommend updating your CV and your Linked In profile if you have one, take copies of your recent appraisals and note your achievements (especially any stats or figures which you will totally forget while you are off). ENSURE you have a written appraisal before you leave and take copies of any work or business contacts that you would like to have if you start in a completely new firm 12/24 months from now.

I can't tell how strongly I recommend this. It is really stressful being made redundant on mat leave and so nice to have this stuff at your fingertips if you have to do At Risk interviews or interview elsewhere.

Put in writing how much contact you would like to have with the office and if you are interested in KIT days (and after what date) for training or whatever. Keep reminding them you will be back, even if you don't intend to be. You never know that your circumstances won't change.

[ZingWantsCake]

OP

you wanted ideas and advice.
I have 6 kids and my advice is to rest as much as you can.
but if that's painful for you I'm sorry.

have a great mat leave running around, but don't be surprised when that baby comes and you'll feel like you've been hit by a truck...

(yes, I sound bitchy and unsopportive because it irks me when people ask for tips then criticise the answers.
if you want to join the "due anytime" thread I'll be mighty supportive though )

[fl0b0t]

Typical MN response there, cheers zingwantscake- you're the exact reason that people are terrified of mumsnet!

Seriously, if I could sleep I would. I'd sleep for a week because I'm about to have a baby (just the one thanks, not 6) and may never sleep for the next 6 plus years. However, (oh look this appears to be me repeating myself) I'm suffering with heartburn and acid reflux when I try to lie down, SPD, an entire lack of ability to sleep in general, and wake up a number of times during the night with carpal tunnel symptoms. Which isn't very condusive for sleeping during the day or at night. I am currently incapable of sleeping. However, lets ignore that and just say I'll spend the next 3-6 weeks asleep as it will make zing feel better. I'll spend any waking hour watching shit box sets and spending my statutory maternity pay on pedicures (hell knows I won't have one of those for the next 18 years until baby starts university.

Sadly, as usual, the elite parent club can't answer the question actually asked or bother to read it, they have to stick a special elite parent club oar in...... and assume that everyone is the same as them.

gingertessa- Looky a useful answer, thanks!! I will very much be telling people not to bother me as I feel that baby will be overdue! I've been telling people baby will probably come "in September" to save people having a fixed date in their head!

oscarwilde - ~blink~ are you telling me to use my last few days at work to update my CV as they won'thave me back?!

[KarmaBiatch]

oh fl0b0t, get yourself some ranitidine (sp?) it works wonders for heartburn as it actually reduces the acid rather than just mask it :)

also, get some reflexology done, but make sure they know not to touch the bit between your heel and ankle bone as it could bring on contractions, but seriously, it will work wonders for your aching body.. trust me!!

I'm sorry you're suffering, I'm 31 weeks and barely getting 30 mins of sleep a night at the mo due to a wriggling baby who thinks its fun to kick my ribs and punch my hips as soon as I lie down!

would you enjoy a dip in the pool to relieve some weight temporarily?

or, have a bath with a good book.. you won't be able to do that for a while

sending hugs

[fl0b0t]

Cheers Karma- swimming is high on my list- I'm a "local resident" member at the local pool so get cheaper swimming. Found it to be very enjoyable so hope to get down a couple of times a week if I feel up to it! :)

Is ranitidine a prescription drug? I've been at the gaviscon tablets (can't stand the liquid) but when you need one after every swig of water it gets a bit boring! :)

[goodasitgets]

Instead of a present for baby (because I knew she would get loads!) I paid for my friend to have a pregnancy pamper - she said it was fab before the birth
They did a leg/foot massage and pedicure while she sat and drank tea and ate cake
So that's my recommendation!

[KarmaBiatch]

not sure if its an otc drug or prescription in the uk, but maybe ask them pharmacist before going to your doc to get it?!

it has been my best friend for the last few weeks

[fl0b0t]

goodasitgets I've had a friend offer to come around and do me a foot massage and pedicure post baby! How amazing!? :-) Can't wait to take her up on that!

Cheers karma :)

[KarmaBiatch]

oooh.. just another thing to add quickly.. take photos of your bump on a daily basis, I've been told that its amazing to look back and see how your bump makes the drop in the last couple weeks :) (it also proves to your kid that they were not adopted when they become a teenager and scream 'must be adopted' heheh)

[LongTailedTit]

A bit at your OTT response to Zing...

Anyway! Just adding my tuppence - I got a whole three days of my four weeks maternity leave as DS decided to show up rather early! I really hadn't expected that and was completely caught off guard. I wish I had been a Scout - Be Prepared!
However, it sounds like your house is ready and you've got most things prepped, well done! Mine was a tip, I was supposed to get it all sorted in that 4 weeks... Ha.

Anyway - things I most wished I'd done were read a few baby sleep books, as by the time I needed them I had no time to read. Things like the No Cry Sleep Solution etc, would have been so much easier to take in without a baby screaming in my ear (literally, DS was a Velcro baby).
Also I wanted to do a baby journal and photo album, these things got left by the wayside in those early months, and can't really be backdated.

If you find yourself stuck on the sofa cos you're physically exhausted but frustrated - try putting a family tree together for your DC. It takes a fair bit of effort, but you'll at least be 'resting' at the same time. :)

I hope the baby moves down soon and eases your discomfort.

Ranitidine can work wonders, do ask your GP for help.

[LongTailedTit]

Ps yes it's def prescription in the UK.

[Cakebaker35]

It absolutely flies by so just enjoy the quiet, peaceful time and doing stuff for yourself. Relax, read, cinema, some batch cooking definitely and a hair cut all good. I was a week early despite being sure I'd be late so mine went all too quickly.

[ZingWantsCake]

OP

take my advice or don't, but don't be offended by my honesty! it is meant to be helpful and my response is hardly why people afraid of MN (and most of what you said does not describe the type of person I am).

I'm sorry you can't sleep, PSD is a bitch.
if you have it I'm not sure about long walks and breast stroke swimming is definitely a bad idea.

I don't know if you have tried osteopathy yet, it did help me a lot.

I know you are anxious to get things done, but please don't overdo it.

I wish you a lovely time for these last few weeks and a quick and safe delivery of your baby!

[fl0b0t]

Cheers all.

[macthecatsmum]

Get a haircut. when i was having my twins it was something i forgot about until the last minute-then couldn't get an appointment. I didn't manage to get it done for 6 bloomin' months. and go for a pedicure-i couldn't reach my feet so it was bliss (DH can't even cut his own toenails without chucking, so he was useless).

[oscarwilde]

Nah - but 6/12 months is a long time to be out of the office. Assuming that you want to return either because you love your job or financially need to [if you have no intention of ever going back then please do ignore me you lucky thing], then it's a really good idea to write down all the stuff you are good at professionally just before you leave work, or when you are at home in the first few weeks.

I kid you not, if you have to sit in an interview 12 months from now and someone asks you about your "recent achievement", you will not be able to remember a single thing except reciting The Gruffalo in the dark/removing and cleaning up a poo explosion without transferring it onto you etc etc.

If you are unlucky enough to be one of the many people on here who's employment goes south while on maternity leave you will be really glad that you took the time to prepare yourself for interview/start your own business while you had the time to do it without the stress of doing it while juggling a small child and a brain which is still mostly engaged .

I know it's not what you started this thread for so sorry but I wish someone had told me not to count on a return just because I was told I was a valued member of the team
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/redundancy

[Torrorosso]

Widen your social circle of people you can socialise with after the baby is born.

I didn't do this, and was crawling up the walls with boredom and frustration - going from a busy, stimulating job to being at home with a demanding baby and no adult company almost drove me mad. I was back in work very quickly as a result!

Looking back, if I'd had more people I could socialise with, it would have been easier and more enjoyable.

[LongTailedTit]

Ooh and if you have an NCT or other baby-class group, set up a Facebook group page - one of our lot did this and it was a lifesaver, esp in the early days when we didn't know each other well enough to call around to see who wanted a catch up.
We still use it loads two years later, seeing who's around for a meet up or to pick each others brains on stuff.