How's Bump??? And other inane questions...

[CornishFirstTimer22]

OK, so they're maybe not all inane, but I must be asked 'how's bump?' about fifty times a day!!!

How do I reply?? 'Bumpy', 'Fine' or instead provide them with a 20 minute assessment of my current pregnancy status?

Other crackers are - 'Does the bump hurt? and 'What can you eat?'

So come on ladies... what other questions really 'get your goat'???

Disclaimer - This is just for fun, I know most people are just genuinely being curious...

:-)

[ByTheWishingWell]

I quite like most of the questions- I'm excited, and happy to talk about it if people are interested.

But I do dislike being asked if it was planned (answer: no), particularly as two different people followed that with asking if I know who the dad is

[Alconleigh]

It may come as something of a shock to some of you, but most people asking don't give a monkeys, they are making small talk and it's generally considered rude to ignore someone's pregnancy. Now overly-intrusive questions about your contraception, or grabs for the bump, are clearly wrong, but give people a break. If only because I am fairly certain your own small talk is not reminiscent of an evening with Noel Coward and Dorothy Parker either.

[MrsHY1]

Haha alconleigh, quite! Well said :)

[ipswichwitch]

I don't mind the questions but I really resent people trying to have a feel of my bump - makes me feel like an over ripe melon at the supermarket. I refuse to be manhandled by complete strangers, unless its a medical necessity (which is fairly unlikely in the veg aisle at asda).

One persistent lady who kept asking to feel my bump got "only if I can feel yours", to which she replied "but I'm not pregnant". I gave her the stony stare and she finally took the hint. I'm not normally rude but I have personal space issues.

[UpTheFRIGGinDuff]

Seriously,I don't mind the inane questions...it's my mothers insistance on totally ignoring my pregnancy that really gets me,she does it every time (this is pg is DC no3)When she does acknowledge it its only to tell me how her pregnancies were harder/easier/better/worse than mine

[Cucumberscarecrow]

I'm also happy with all the standard pregnancy questions. As Alconleigh says, it's just polite small talk and I find it much easier to converse enthusiastically about something so important as pregnancy than the weather, holiday plans and similar small talk topics.

[tedmundo]

I hated my bump being touched, even by family members.

But the endless questions never bothered me. Actually with strangers I would respond with disarming honesty about how tough the last few weeks were, prem labour scare etc. The old 'uns loved it! A bit of chumminess had such a lovely outcome. Nice chats and smiles and everyone's day was a bit brighter. I know it is annoying but small talk cosmos so little. (Sorry to be a Pollyanna but my nan is probably one of those old dears asking you lot the questions and I feel bad she is probably annoying the pants of most of you!!).

With friends asking I would reply 'do you want the stock answer or the truth?' Hahah! Then they'd get 15 mins of non stop moaning!

[ballstoit]

'Haven't you got a telly?', when I was pg with dc3.
Apparently I missed the memo that says you can only have a 3rd child if you have had 2 DC of the same gender.

[Rollermum]

I don't generally mind the questions - except 'was it planned?' (No)

Observations about my size annoy me. I've also got a bit bored of people telling me not to lift light things / walk a short distance or in the case of my Mum (bless her) blow up a balloon. As someone who has been playing a full contact sport (roller derby) and lifting weights for years I find this shift into being treated as ill quite difficult. I am lucky to have been well so far and I can feel my limits.

My Dad also said now I'm pregnant I must wear a seat belt all times. I was born in 1982 - it would never occur to me not to wear a seatbelt! He's also convinced I will have an epic fall at some point :-/

[TheSilverySoothsayer]

Give us oldies a break :) We like to remember our own pregnancies and being asked inane questions ourselves And we try to offer female solidarity and share our fellow feeling, even though ours is long in the past...

[ringaringarosy]

the only one that irritates me is when they ask how long youve got left,well seeing as im not having a planned c section i have no idea,some time 3 weeks before or after my due date i guess?

[CornishFirstTimer22]

I totally get that the vast majority of people are just being friendly/ making small talk/ being genuinely curious, like said in OP this is purely just for fun to allow us to have a bit of a moan (at a time when it comes particularly easily)

No offence to the question askers at all.

I just think that I sometimes miss the conversations about other things too, when you're pregnant, that pregnancy is the default topic of conversation for so many people, and I do still like talking about other things too sometimes much as I also love to talk about my little bean with close friends and family.

[FoofFighter]

I think you'll find people are only venting on here, and are in person very polite to all the questioners... why can't we moan about this like the majority of posts on MN in general are moaning?

[BrainGoneAwol]

Ahh, I don't miss some questions.
DS was the result of a long, hard journey and pregnancy was mostly ok so I was happy to share the enjoyment. BUT endless comments on how small my bump was (he was a good 8.5lbs in the end) did actually make me begin to worry after a while.

Why people have to touch the bump is beyond me. It's still me you're groping... the baby is actually inside.

[Xiaoxiong]

I also don't mind most questions as it's just small talk but hate the "oh you're so huge" and "you must be ready to pop" comments, because a) I'm only 30 weeks so no, I'm not ready to pop and b) being huge is not a good thing. Apart from the attendant discomfort, wear and tear on my body, inability to give birth vaginally last time because of baby size etc, I had a gestational diabetes test on Friday and I'm worried about the result.

I know it's not malicious but it's really hard to respond to politely. It should be the kind of "small talk" that is frowned upon, like telling a married but childless couple to get a move on and have kids - apparently innocuous but you have no idea what they are going through, don't want kids, want to wait, or even worse if they are trying but no luck, recent MC, IVF etc.

[Xiaoxiong]

X posted with Brain - our two comments juxtaposed perfectly demonstrates why any comment on size is hard to deal with, whichever way it goes.

[mustardtomango]

Its not quite a question, but my mother recently commented on how big I am (27 weeks), any how i look ready to give birth right now. I pointed out people do get much bigger than me so far, and the reply was simply - 'oh no, I don't think you'll find they do.' really? Followed by the same message on feet: 'oh no, people's feel don't get any larger during pregnancy' and a swollen foot comparison ('my feet are huge too! ' um..... Really? Have you seen my flippers?') it didn't bring out the best in me.

[TheSilverySoothsayer]

I know, OP, and I wrote my post in the same spirit :)

blimey it's hot, how are all you preggers ladies doing?

[CruCru]

I'm getting quite bad tempered with advice. Last time I gave birth, I didn't want to go away somewhere for a few days as it was the week before my due date and the person who asked me said it would be fine to give birth at [random hospital not the one I'm booked in at]. She looked a bit surprised when I said DH had to be there.

I've also been told that I MUST have an epidural / natural birth / water birth / etc.

I do get quite bad tempered when pregnant though.

[MyChildDoesntNeedSleep]

To be honest, these days pregnancy/babies etc bore me, so I only ask pregnant ladies questions to be polite. Seems a bit rude to ignore such a big thing. Didn't realise people were exasperated about it! I loved talking about my pregnancies when I was pregnant.

[Wibblypiglikesbananas]

Inane question from MIL (said crouching down and speaking at my midriff):

'And how's baby today?'

Which then requires me to reply that the baby is fine, thanks. The whole bending and speaking to my stretched stomach skin does my nut in though. I think she thinks it's endearing. I think it's ridiculous.

And breathe...

The other comment I get (am in the US) is how small my bump is (6 months gone). Well, no, it's actually measuring bang on according to my Dr!

[PeaceAndHope]

The question that annoyed me the most was - Will you continue working?

Umm, yes. Most women can work while they're pregnant and many women continue with their careers even after they have the baby.

My family is used to small baby bumps. Mine wasn't huge, but it definitely wasn't small. Not exactly known for their tact or sensitivity, they asked me the following question- Is it supposed to be that big? What did the doctor say? Poor thing, maybe you should watch your diet.

[PeaceAndHope]

Oh yes, and even I was constantly told to have a natural birth/hypno birth, water birth etc.

[FattyMcChubster]

Sugar, I think it's nice you're asking and I think people are calling names like 'morons' when people ask rude or private questions.
It's sometimes annoying when you're feeling crap, hot, hormonal, angry and upset at everything, to be asked the same questions all day everyday but that's just what happens. People are interested or genuinely asking about you.

Can't stand the personal intrusions though. How is it any of your business if it was planned or not? How rude are you?!
Oh, I look huge do I? Looks like its twins does it? Fuck off!!
When is it ever acceptable to tell someone how 'massive' they look? Growing a baby means you will be larger of course, most women don't want that endlessly pointing out to them.