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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Is the woman on one born every minute 'normal'?

51 replies

OompaLumpa · 11/01/2011 21:12

I don't mean that in a rude way but am of with our first and being honest, she has left me terrified! I'm talking about the lady who was screaming a lot....

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Astrophe · 11/01/2011 22:48

Is there a new series on?

I really screamed with DC3, became quite hysterical, was absolutely terrified, and I really DID need a talking too, but instead my midwife just stood leaning against the wall gawping at me and looking amused :(. DH was also terrified and thought I must be dying. I thought I was dying, but really just needed calming, and help to get back in the 'zone'.

ShowOfHands · 11/01/2011 22:49

Well I went in with an I can cope attitude. I studied hypnobirthing, remained in water, moved around, pushed in lots of positions etc.

It was utterly excruciating and I was at that end of the spectrum. I didn't scream though. I sobbed and sobbed and had no control whatsoever. I was terrified but because I knew something wasn't right. It hurt too much and in the wrong places.

But dd was ridiculously malpositioned (unbirthable) and I had no waters (and a v long, intervention heavy labour in the end). So while I was similarly distressed, there was a reason and I wasn't screaming.

You just don't know. And it's not helpful to judge her or expect your labour to be comparative in any way.

DuelingFanjo · 11/01/2011 23:04

not for me, no. but I am convinced that the midwives didn't think I was in established labour because I didn't make a racket.

discobeaver · 12/01/2011 08:25

I think she knew she was more likely to get featured on the show if she screamed. You could see the staff thought she was way ott.

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 12/01/2011 08:33

She had pethedine too didn't she?

Ie - off her tits!

MoonUnitAlpha · 12/01/2011 08:43

The hospital/midwives in OBEM seem shit to me, so your experience might not be like hers at all.

To be honest though I would have screamed like that if I'd been lying on a bed through out. Agony!

maltesers · 12/01/2011 09:10

Discobeaver i think she probably was in pain and scared. Even in childbirth you try to retain some Decorum and try not to make a complete idiot of yourself. She did say she knew she was not good with pain and was very vocal. . . . .poor hubby . . .did he have ear plugs !!!!!

Dylthan · 12/01/2011 09:12

I lost control and screamed like that at the pushing stage with my first labour I just compleatly panicked tried to jump off the bed with the head crowning and everything it was awful.

However with my second labour I knew what to expect didn't panic and focused on what I had to do I knew it hurt but accepted that and knew that the more I pushed the quicker it would be over. Pushing really helped. In my first labour I fought against it. For this second labour I was compleatly silent (not out of choice it's just what happend) the second labour where I kept in control and didn't scream was so much better I found screaming made it a million times worse.

However you can't control screaming if it happens I was told off by the midwives for it first time round but I just couldn't stop. Try and not lose control in the first place, keep calm and accept the pain which I know sound ridicules but it helps. Once you start screaming it's really hard to stop.

I don't think steph was ott just really under prepared for what labour is like.

FairyTaleOfNewYork · 12/01/2011 09:17

did the lady say afterwards that it was her way of coping, and she'd do it again the same way. she doesnt care if people think she was silly etc etc.

i have just had my fifth child, and was a lot more vocal this time, much to dh amusement. i wasnt screaming or shouting, but my language did involve a lot of f-words and shit shit shit. i also wasnt happy with the canula in my arm and swore at that a lot during contractions when it resticted my wrist movements and gripping ability.

plantsitter · 12/01/2011 09:58

You know what? I think she was bloody brilliant. I was really annoyed with myself for apologising for making too much noise during labour - early 'good girl' conditioning coming out despite barely squeaking 'til the end. She obviously had no such hang ups.

On the other hand, I personally found it much easier to cope with the pain by breathing, counting and moving around. The one or two times I forgot or lost concentration felt much worse.

VivaLeBeaver · 12/01/2011 10:00

I do think that some people scream or shout as a way of coping and I do think it works for some people - but not such out of control screaming. It didn't look to me like it was helping her cope. Guess she's the only one who knows for sure though and its good that she was smiling about it afterwards.

Feelingsensitive · 12/01/2011 10:02

I told everyone I was dying in labour . Even at the time I knew that was a tad dramatic. I didn't scream either time. But each to their own.

Scruffyhound · 12/01/2011 10:42

I felt more sorry for the younger girl who seemed to have a partner who was a complete drip and kept going on about usless rubbish and battles my god that was more painful to watch than the screaming lady.......

daisystone · 12/01/2011 15:45

I think the younger girls boyfriend seemed a bit Autistic. Don't you think? Or maybe I mean Aspergers.

PinkElephant73 · 12/01/2011 15:50

I had to get DP to turn it off after 5 mins as I am due in 3 weeks and it was a very unwelcome preview!
Daisystone I did wonder about that too, I would have wanted to punch him if I were her!

Hopelesslydisorganised · 12/01/2011 15:53

She was screaming because it helped her through the pain - for some women it does.

She was also scared and seemingly confined to the bed. Her body was screaming out to move - if only they had let her she may have calmed down.

Hopelesslydisorganised · 12/01/2011 15:55

I thought Ralph came across really well. I wondered about Aspergers too. I was soppy as anything at the end when he was weeping with emotion over his new baby.

Blu · 12/01/2011 16:00

She announced in advance that she would make a fuss, her friends had joked about her being loud, screaong was her mechanism fo desaling with both pain and fear. Just take heart fin the fatc that she cheefully announced that she would also screm her way through it 'next tie' , and that, oin fact, she continued screaming after she could feel nothing, and was in fact screaming 'I can't feel anything'. Screaming was a coping mechanism not necessarily calibrated to an objective pain index.

For reference, I had a very long OP labour and was never in actual pain. Discomfort, yes, hard work, yes, in a sort of unearthly physical state that had me bellowing 'uuuurgeeeugh' like something from a vet programme, but I was at no point in serious pain.

midori1999 · 12/01/2011 16:19

I think she's probably in a very small minority, but she's not 'abnormal'.

I was fairly quiet in all my labours, but if some women want to scream and shout and feel it helps them, then so be it.

MoldyWarp · 12/01/2011 21:38

I beg to die -every type and also do the 'sorry...sorry' thing esp if i swear

LeviStubbsTears · 13/01/2011 16:18

Plantsitter - what is the counting you talk about to help with contractions? I'm 39 weeks and have some idea about how to use breathing but any tips welcome. Thanks!

plantsitter · 13/01/2011 21:21

Hi LeviStubbsTears. The counting thing was v useful for me - basically on the long, controlled out breath I slowly counted in my head, trying to make the breath last as long as the contraction. (if it doesn't don't not breathe, take another long in breath). Not sure why counting helps but it does.

With DD1 DH was around during these contractions and he counted for me - made him feel useful and helped me.

I was on my own in hospital for DD2 and I walked around counting my steps on the long out breaths.

I didn't do any of the hypnobirthing stuff and thought I had invented this brilliant technique but I understand it features in a more complex way in hypnobirthing so it might be worth investigating it a bit.

Hope that makes sense. Good luck!

coldtits · 13/01/2011 21:25

I screamed my bloody HEAD off with ds2 - i had an epidural with ds1 and was too exhausted to make much noise.

Sod it. Nobody else in that room is going through that level of pain. Do as you please.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 13/01/2011 21:33

no i don't think that woman was representative of what all women experience. as otehrs have said we all cope differently adn we do what we can to get through it.

i have to say, i did get the impression from that woman that she considered herself to have a bit of a rep as a drama queen and i do feel she 'put on' a fair deal of that screaming and trying to get off the bed when being moved. also remember that the documentary makers will feature teh most dramatic births to increase their viewing figures.

JanetPlanet · 13/01/2011 21:39

A mountain visualisation and golden thread breath I'd learnt in yoga, saved my sanity. When the contractions started coming every couple of mins I was overwhelmed. I was screaming that I couldn't cope and crying and swearing. Then I had a word with myself and decided to do the yoga breathig and visualisations I'd learnt. Didn't open my eyes or make a sound for the next 4 hours, had no pain relief until I got to 7cm (baby in distress so epidural for interventions). It was a positive and relaxed experience in the end.

Also imagine the biggest crowd you've ever seen, like a concert in a stadium, imagine each one of those people is a birth, if all those women can do it so can you.

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