1 year on - still not asking/using loo at home

[TinyTeachr]

Potty training has been pretty bad..... im not sure what to try next!

My eldest was a dream. Wanted to potty train at 2y3mo having seen a slightly older friend get praise for using the potty. Used the Oh Crap method, all sorted in the day within a month, dry at night a month later. Not had an accident ever after being 2.5.

My twin boys.... it's been a year! If I take them every couple of hours, we're fine. One will take himself to the potty for a poo. But they don't EVER say they need one. This means they regularly wet themselves at preschool and one poos in his pants at least once a week.

They dont seem to care!

They also won't use the loo at home. They will when we are somewhere else, but only if I take them (not DH!!! They just wet themselves instead). They were ok on holiday for 5 days. But if I put the potties away and insist they use the loo.... lots of accidents.

They are coming up for 3.5. I'm open to suggestions! WHY do they never never say anything? They just pee in their trousers and continue as if nothing has hapenned!

Boys. They don't feel it the same way. They don't care if they smell. Could make it a race between them? Try outright bribery or star chart.

They just pee in their trousers and continue as if nothing has hapenned!

I think you know this really but it is a sign that they weren't/aren't ready. Have you really let this go on for a year? The method of nappies would have been so much easier for you and better for your children. This has stressed you for a year and that really hasn't been necessary at their age. I wish I knew what to suggest to be honest.
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@NoKnit thats a little harsh. I did my best to look for signs of rediness e.g looking for a private place to poo etc. And they can hold a wee for a couple of hours or do a small "just in case" one immediately if I take them regularly so they do have control. They can handle their own trousers and pants. It wasn't my intention to push them when they weren't ready.

One twin hasn't had an accident in 3 weeks. But I've been suggesting to him to go (a.g. a usually go after meal times or after a long walk) or if he looks uncomfortable I ask him if he needs to go. Sometimes he takes himself and just goes, particularly for a poo. But this afternoon he sat on the sofa and was quietly looking at a book for twenty minute or so. When he got up his trousers were wet and COLD so he must have done it as soon as he sat down and then sat in it for 20 minutes without saying a word!!! I don't understand it. He must have known.

@Jandob I might try a star chart.... They like shiny things so it might be up their alley. Perhaps it's just a motivation thing. I'm just not sure what's not working! I didn't realise it might feel different for boys, I assume a full bladder feels the same for everyone regardless of the exit?