Better to potty train before or after baby number two arrives???

[MissTea]

My DD (now 21 months old) will be 2 yrs and 3 months old when my second baby is due. I am wondering whether it would be better to try to get her potty trained before the baby arrives, or wait until afterwards (I know it?s not recommended to try to do so at the time/immediately afterwards).

We have booked a 2-week holiday in June (when she will be just 2) somewhere hot with lots of outdoor space and no carpets with the vague intention of potty training her there (hopefully getting the especially messy part over with) IF she seems ready (still not really sure how you tell but plan to read potty training books before then ? any recommendations??).

Some friends (and esp older relatives) have said to get her trained before the baby comes as it?s easier to do when you?ve just got one to worry about, but others have pointed out that it?s easier to let them do it in a nappy than have to try to get them to the toilet/potty urgently while breastfeeding a little one!

I know each child is an individual and it?s important to wait until she is ready rather than fitting her into our agenda, but any relevant experiences/advice would be much appreciated!

Many thanks?

[Sopster]

I had a similar issue with when to train DS1 as DD was on her way. I planned to do it before when he was 2yrs 9 months but he just wasn't ready so did it when she was 12 weeks (he'd just turned 3). We used a brilliant reward chart (My big star chart from Encourageabdpraise.co.uk) and he mastered it in a week. Like you said you just need to appraise your own child and take it from them. I honestly don't remember it being a problem having 2 in nappies for a few weeks. Good luck whatever you decide.

[belgo]

I don't see why you shouldn't try potty training now or soon. Many children are ready well before the age of two. My dd2 was potty trained age 19 months on holiday.

I wouldn't worry about regression, it may never happen.

[MissTea]

Thanks everyone! Think we'll probably wait until after baby arrives then. I guess she can still have a go in the potty if she wants, and our holiday will be a good opportunity for her to run around naked and use the potty if she wants, but no worries if she doesn't. Definitely sounds like it'll be easier to have her in nappies (or at least pull ups?) when the baby is little though. Really appreciate all the advice

[Alishanty]

You can't really decide when to do it imo. If they are not ready you won't have much success. If your dd seems ready before, then do it but if's she's not (most aren't properly ready until nearly 3) it will just be too stressful for you. I found this with my ds. Hence why, with my dd, i've not really started to 'train' her, just waited until she's ready and she wants to do it, she's 31 mths and has recently done a wee and a poo on the potty because she decided it was time.

[BlueChampagne]

We have the same age gap as you and started training DS1 about 3 months after DS2 arrived. You will find it easier to move, and won't have to deal with demands to go to potty, or deal with regression when either heavily pg or with tiny newborn.

[simpson]

My Ds was 2.5 when DD arrived and I just knew he was not ready and I could not be bothered with the hassle tbh

We waited until he was 2.10 and it was much easier, infact he got wees straight away but the poos were a bit harder to crack

But I had more patience as I was not heavily pg or feeding a newborn

[Rosebud05]

In terms of books, we got 'I want my potty' by Tony Ross and 'Pirate Pete's Potty Book' (Ladybird) out of the library at some point. I think they definitely got her cogs whirring.

I knew she wasn't ready when I'd tried previously, because she'd just hold on when I took her nappy off and ask for a nappy, then go immediately when I put one on. A bit frustrating, but it did show that she was quite in control of her bladder and bowels and it was more a psychological than physical readiness.

[MrsTittleMouse]

My DD announced that she was ready for big girl pants and that was it. So it was quite obvious. :) I'd tried a couple of times before with disastrous results. So I fourth (fifth?) the recommendation to do it to her timetable, and not to yours.

Older relatives are thinking about needing to wash and dry two lots of terry nappies with a twin tub and no tumble drier, by the way. Two in disposables (or modern cloth with a washing machine and tumble drier) is a doddle.

[cheapFlower]

I tried to potty train DD1 before DD2 was born (she was 2.10 when sister arrived). it did not work. tried shortly after DD2 was born (was a total failure but we probably picked the worse time). tried again now (DD2 is 3 month) and DD1 is finally using the potty.

I would maybe give it a try. if your DD is ready, then it will probably work. but I wouldn't really stress about it esp as DD is still young.

[MissTea]

Wow - thanks so much for all the advice. Sounds like it might be worth waiting then, unless she's obviously ready earlier. How can you tell though? Is it really a matter of them announcing that they don't want to wear nappies anymore, or is it more subtle? Has anyone found any potty training books particularly helpful in this matter?

Thanks again!

[MrsJamin]

I would say the perfect time is after the baby is feeding all the time, and before they are crawling! a few friends managed to PT toddlers before or just after babies arrived, with most success though, I think it just depends on whether the toddler is ready.

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

Weeeeeeeeeell, I am potty training ds (2.6) now and have a baby due at the end of April.

He's doing really well (except poo's, but that's another story!) but tbh I've found it bloody hard work. For me it has probably been the most frustrating part of raising ds so far, and to be fair to him he's actually been quite good.

I'm sure I would find it frustrating normally, but being 30 weeks pregnant and knackered hasn't helped.

Good luck with whatever you choose

[RuthChan]

I'd do it whenever your DD is ready.
Don't try to force her to train before the baby if she's not ready.
Having two in nappies is not much more hassle than one, and it's probably less hassle than an unreliably trained child.

[Rosebud05]

My dd was 2.2 when ds arrived and, although she's been quite interested in using a potty before he was born, refused to give up nappies for another 7 months. She then decided that she didn't want to wear them any more and that was that really. Handful of accidents and no special travel potties or kit.

In retrospect, I think it was easier to have 2 in nappies for a bit than the older one just toilet training. They've got a very small bladder at just 2 and need to go lots! Most toddlers also realise very quickly that saying they need a wee or poo is the BEST way to get your attention when breastfeeding.

On the other hand, my friend was going to wait until her 2nd child was born until she encouraged her dd out of nappies, but her dd had other ideas and she was out of nappies by 2.5 years.

Ultimately, it's down to your daughter, I imagine.

[sparkle09]

I would wait until after the baby comes. And i found with both of mine is that its so much easier and quicker the closer they are to 3 years old,

I only know a couple of toddlers that mastered it way before 3.

good luck.