if you lose a baby before its born, where does its soul go?

[memoo]

This is something that has been torturing me for a long time now.

3 years ago i had an ectopic pregnnacy that ruptured when i was 10 weeks pregnant. I never had any kind of funeral for the baby because i never really knew it was an option until now.

I have never really been particularly religious but i know that many people believe that a childs soul enters its body upon conception, and this is something that i believe too.

Now i have reached a point where i am desperate to know where my little baby is, does a persons soul still go to heaven if they weren't born or christened?

My friend has suggested talking to our parish priest but i really don't know what to do.

[Gsmom]

i have had an ectopic pregnancy and 2 m/cs. I absolutely 100% believe that they are in heaven being reared by mine and DHs grandparents, as i asked God to do with them after each loss. I also in one way look forward to when i die as i really believe that they will be the first ones at the gates of heaven waiting for me.

BTW memoo, i dont know if this is of any help to you, but you did mention that your angel hadnt been christened, but it is possible still to christen them. I had it done recently by my parish priest, just a simple prayer but it gave me great consolation.

[fransmom]

(((((((((((((((((everyone)))))))))))))))))))

[Sails]

I have had 2 miscarriages -1 before my first child and 1 before the second. After I lost my 1st baby I read a book called I'll hold you in heaven. I found it a tremendous comfort and I know that I will one day meet both my babies. I also had a service of rememberance after both miscarriages. I also found that helped.

[AlistairSim]

I've been wanting to ask this question for so long!

When I had my miscarriages, I kept going to our local church because I wanted to talk to the parish priest about this and ask him but could never work up the courage (and cried whenever I thought about asking!)

I don't even have any faith as such but think I was looking for comfort and answers anywhere I could.

[fransmom]

hi (((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))

i had a mc when i had just turned 19/20, and i know that i was carrying a little girl. i believe that all children who pass before birth will stay as long as they need to, to learn the lessons however long or short they may stay with us. i also believe that all children who pass before birth grow up on the other side of life,as it were, and can visit us in either a dream visit' or as we would think that we would normally see ghosts / spritis. either on their own or with a member of our own family that has already passed or with their guardian angel(s)

hth, my time on the pc is nearly over, i should really get my own internet but it's cheaper at the library

[ChocFudgeCake]

The soul goes to God
I have lost 3 babies. I did my research after DD died, and that helped me to live through 2 miscarriages.
I know we will be together again.

[ScaryHairy]

Memoo, I had an ep too.  I don't believe in God (or at least not in the form suggested by organised religions) but I do believe that my baby is still waiting to be conceived and will be when the time is right, i.e. that he or she will still get to be my baby, if that is what is meant to be.

[Surfermum]

I had 2 mcs before dd. I believe they go back to the spirit world and grow up there. I believe they are with the angels and other people who love them.

My PILs are spiritualists, MIL is a platform medium. They often see the man who used to live in our house before us (he died) wandering around here. Then one day FIL told me that he was gardening and turned round and thought we'd arrived to see them as dd was stood next to him. He realised it was a boy not a girl and asked him who he was. He said he was our son, and to tell me that he was happy.

MIL has also done a reading for me and asked me what Jack of hearts was. If he had been born he would have been called Jack - and she didn't know that. She then said he was saying that he knows how much I love him.

Since I have developed my gifts in this area I believe he has come to me during meditation and I have been able to give him a cuddle. In fact when I first started realising that I could link to the spirit world he was there, leaping up and down going "yeh Mum, you go Mum".

This is a baby I lost at just 9 weeks. I do wonder why I don't really think about the 2nd mc. I certainly don't grieve it like I do for Jack every year on the anniversary, and I wonder if it's because it was dd who waited to come back to me for the 3rd pregnancy.

[avenanap]

My sister has lost three little angels. She has a ovely little boy now but I know that she still grieves for the babies that were part of her for such a small time. I now from reading that there is a special place in heaven for little ones who have not been born. God knows that they were not christened because they were taken too quickly. You are allowed to miss them. It's only natural that you grieve for the children that you should have had. Remember the good moments that you had with them. The little kicks and the feelings of warmth and love that you had towards them. That's the gift that they have given to you. They have felt your love and warmth and they gave these memories to you.

[memoo]

I can't tell you how much your words have helped me. I have spent the last couple of days having a really good look at the websites you recommended and i love to think that my little baby is an angel.

Mrs P, I really now how you feel, I already have two children, the baby i lost would have been my third. I do feel like I should just be grateful that I have two beautiful children, and believe me i am because they are so precious to me. But having them doesn't stop me longing for my little lost one. there will always be a massive gap in my heart and in my life. I will always feel that i am missing one of my children.

I don't think there is a day that goes by that i don't think of her, Its been 3 years but i find myself thinking about what age she would be now and what she would be doing.

I wish i could just have had a few moments with her. I wish i could see what she would have looked like, Even though i say 'she' i don't even now if she was a girl or boy, and god knows i would give anything to have even the shortest, but most precious moment with my baby to be able to see and hold my baby, to feel her in my arms and to smell her skin, its like a longing that never goes a way and a grief that touches every part of your life

[avenanap]

I have a good friend who has lost a baby. She told me she went to see an American Indian who told her that some babies are only destined to live for a little while because all they want is to feel the love that the parents and family have for them, and to experience being alive until it is time for their spirit to move on.

[luckylady74]

allgonebellyup - ime when posters start with 'just out of interest' it's not 'just' it's actually to judge very strongly and make a clear point.

[windygalestoday]

Dont think im odd but a few years ago i had a 'angel dream' my late mil was in it with a very hndsome younger man when i asked her who it was -it was her younger son whod died shortly fter his birth,there is no doubt in my mind at all that that is where all babies go.

[chippergirl]

Thank you MrsPhas, that brought tears to my eyes.

[MrsPhas3]

Oops - first son should be soon, and the soon should be son!

[MrsPhas3]

I just want to say thank you for starting this thread. I lost my baby a year ago, and have been fortunate enough to have a healthy pregnancy son after and now have a wonderful three month old soon (much to his 2 big sisters delight ). But since the mc, after the initial distress I have felt unable to grieve for my lost baby (which I have been putting down to guilt, because I have been so lucky to have three children). But reading this thread has flicked a switch. I have just had my first real cry about my lost baby, and it felt right (does that make sense, obviously crying/grieving hurts, but there's no guilt around the fact that I have a wonderful baby and should count myself lucky). Thinking about my lost babies soul/spirit has helped tremendoulsy.

A huge thank you again. I so hope I can move on, I'll never forget, but move on.

[chippergirl]

And it saddens me that you say you are "torturing" yourself. Please don't.

[chippergirl]

I don't know the answer memoo. But I'm sure of one thing - which is that your child's spirit is happy, wherever it is.

[youcannotbeserious]

I'm a bit sceptical about this thread, but would like to say that I think that aborted babies aren't treated by whatever God there happens to be any differently to other babies that, for whatever reason, don't make it...

I think, if there is a God, he doesn't judge a child on the mistakes or actions of the parent.

And I think that most aborted babies were loved / would have been loved.

[KayHarker]

allgonebellyup, babies go to heaven. All babies.

[lavenderbongo]

I lost a baby at 12 weeks - and it still makes me cry now - but like Zephrcat I read that thread shortly after the miscarrage.

I believe that we all have spirit children which are due to be born to us and it just wasnt the right time for my baby to be born.
A year later dd2 was born - I call her my miracle baby.

I am not religious - But I found the idea that my babies soul would get another chance of life, if not with me then with someone close to me, comforting. It also helped my Mum who had never talked about her miscarrages (she lost one child at 24 weeks). She had never spoken about her loss until I lost my baby. I think it helped her to talk about it. It certainly helps me.

[forevercleaning]

aborted babies will also go to heaven i'm sure of that.

[allgonebellyup]

just out of interest - what happens to babies' souls after an abortion then?

[KayHarker]

I'll add another voice affirming that they go to heaven.

[zephyrcat]

I've just read through that old thread again and am covered in goosebumps!

If you get the time, read through some of the MN'ers experiences, it really is heartwarming