Survivors of extreme religious thought

[BraveLight]

It doesn't really matter if your religion or denomination was/is considered extreme. What matters to this thread is that you were abused in some way or felt suffocated, a sense of unbelonging, or you weren't given room to be your true self.

My story is that I was brought up fundamentalist Baptist and I actually relate to public figures who lived in government declared cults and had to break away from them even though I grew up in an ordinary town. My church was considered average and normal. And I think that is what is so isolating about it all.

There was a lot of screwed up brainwashing. I was told I would burn in hell or be possessed by demons just for reading certain books or watching certain movies or TV shows. I was told that science was evil, and there was a government conspiracy to end Christianity and that I wasn't allowed to hang out with certain people even if I really liked them if they weren't Christian or the "right" kind of Christians.

My dad would make me watch horror movies about demonic possession like The exorcism of Emily rose when I was 6 and told me I had to watch the entire thing with my eyes open so I would understand what kind of danger my mortal soul would be in if I ever dared to doubt Jesus or the Bible. 😐

I started having real doubts and started to fall away as I became a teenager and especially when I started dating because the rules set in place seemed impossible in the 21st century. I tried dating the "good" Christian men but they pushed and pushed and pushed for sex or they would grope me and when I finally fought back I was called all sorts of names and shamed and they started rumours about me for turning them down.

I felt like I couldn't talk about it. I tried a few times but saw it was frowned upon and a few times I was accused of hate or prejudiced so I shut up and became lonely and depressed. But inside I was imploding because I was having to come to terms with the fact that what my religious group taught me wasn't normal or right. That we were mistreating people. This was 20 years ago.

And it was only just a couple of years that my church was finally exposed for sexual abuse and exploitation of women and children. It is a bitter sweet revelation because while I am glad they are exposed and justice is finally getting served it is difficult to celebrate after so much damage was done before it finally happened and after I and so many others moved on with our lives already.

[heyhohello]

Not experienced this type of religious abuse but thank you so much for telling your story. It must have been so difficult!

People need to hear about what goes on in some church communities and get this stuff out in the open so it can be dealt with.

[BraveLight]

@heyhohello big or small all religious abuse is awful. We think of God and we are told (or at least it is implied) the church and people of Jesus are supposed to be a safe place in God's love but instead find many negative experiences which make us question ourselves, if we are good people worthy of love? It damages our psychy. It is very damaging. So please feel free to talk about it. After all who are we to say what is too big or too small a tragedy? In a way it is very much a betrayal of trust.

[PeoniesLilac]

I'm sorry for what you've been through, OP. I have no experience of this, but I follow this guy on Facebook more generally and think he is excellent:

www.facebook.com/RoomToThrive

[NotTooOldPaul]

thanks @BraveLight  I'm preaching tomorrow and one of the passages is Mark Chaper 1 verses 21 to 28. In it Jesus casts out a demon.
Your story will certainly be included as a warning to the congregation not to be extream or force children to do things.

[BraveLight]

@NotTooOldPaul

Thank you. It gives me a bit of comfort to know that my experience and all those tears and loneliness was not all for nothing. That my story will be heard. I hope it will serve to help someone and their family. I've started going to church again. But it took me ten years of healing and completely breaking down and restructuring how I think of what it means to be Christian before I could get to this place in my life finally. God bless you.

[Kdtym10]

Theres nothing so fucked up as a religious extremist, millions of lives have been ruined because of it. Sorry you sent through that
On a more light hearted note..
I used to have a badge that I put in my school bag it read “I survived a catholic School” - but of premature hopeful thinking. But in the end I did😂

[erinaceus]

I mentioned it in another thread and it might not sit well with you but this book is a fictional account of, from what you have posted, what you went through.

The book is laugh-out-loud funny in places as well as being insightful, so might not be what you need at this time, but you might at least find solidarity. You are for sure not alone in having gone through what you describe, which is itself sad.

I also mentioned on the other thread Naked Pastor cartoons which I find touching. He deconstructed his faith as far as I know.

Good luck (it sounds so horrible, I feel glad I never had to live through something like that).

[OhamIreally]

Most religions appear to be tools of the patriarchy and a way for men to give themselves power and legitimise the abuse of women and children.

[NonnyMouse1337]

If you are in the UK and struggling with leaving a high control religion, you might find the new Faith to Faithless helpline useful.

https://humanists.uk/2024/02/21/humanists-uk-launches-dedicated-faith-to-faithless-helpline-for-people-leaving-religions-and-cults/

[PrimitivePerson]

I got mixed up with Pioneer in my teens, something that's done me an enormous amount of damage. They're currently being investigated for abuse and safeguarding failures, and I've contributed to the enquiry.

Blog post about my experiences here:

https://journeyman.online/reposted-and-updated-a-year-in-a-cult/

I now can't go anywhere near a church without having a panic attack. It's also caused me massive problems with self-confidence, boundaries and relationships.

[concretevase]

I actually find having atheists around me as jarring as having evangelicals. Both have an arrogant sense of self righteousness about them based on blind - and unscientific - faith.

[PrimitivePerson]

@concretevase

I actually find having atheists around me as jarring as having evangelicals. Both have an arrogant sense of self righteousness about them based on blind - and unscientific - faith.

I much prefer atheist company these days, they don't judge me, try to convert me or act like it's a tragedy that I'm not a Christian any more.

[whatsitcalledwhen]

@PrimitivePerson

I got mixed up with Pioneer in my teens, something that's done me an enormous amount of damage. They're currently being investigated for abuse and safeguarding failures, and I've contributed to the enquiry.

Blog post about my experiences here:

https://journeyman.online/reposted-and-updated-a-year-in-a-cult/

I now can't go anywhere near a church without having a panic attack. It's also caused me massive problems with self-confidence, boundaries and relationships.

I read this with great interest - you're a fantastic writer. I'm really sorry for what you went through, it's so sad.

[PrimitivePerson]

@whatsitcalledwhen

I read this with great interest - you're a fantastic writer. I'm really sorry for what you went through, it's so sad.

Thank you, that means a lot as I really want to write more. I need to try and decide what to do with this story, as I think it needs to be heard.

But yeah...it stole the best years of my life, and not a single day passes when I don't mourn that in some way.

[pointythings]

@concretevase

I actually find having atheists around me as jarring as having evangelicals. Both have an arrogant sense of self righteousness about them based on blind - and unscientific - faith.

Bit sweeping, that. Atheists come in lots of different flavours, just like believers.

Well done getting out and speaking out, @BraveLight .