Boyfriends dog and my cats

[KittySmith1986]

They aren’t friends and it looks likely that boyfriend and his dog will move in with me and my 3 cats soon. Been together 3 years, the dog is a rescue English setter (described as ‘cat tested’ before bf rescued him but we think he was so traumatised at that time that he probably wasn’t reacting to anything). Boyfriend doesn’t live locally so visits are intermittent/long weekends etc.. Because his dog is so reactive to my cats (chasing, lunging, obsessed with any random location where he’s once seen one of my cats), we have been keeping them separate. Now I’m not sure this was the right thing to do. My cats are afraid of the dog. This wasn’t something I was worried about as I’ve lived with dogs and cats together before but never with a dog that’s so reactive to cats.

Can anyone give me hope that these animals can peacefully cohabit without one of them getting hurt or running away? Keeping the pets separated is becoming exhausting. Any advice welcomed! Thank you!

[aitchteeaitch]

Your poor cats, that's all I can say.

[KittySmith1986]

Yes, I agree! That’s why I’m asking for advice.

[K0OLA1D]

I don't think I'd ever be able to trust a dog who is so reactive. Apart from keeping them completely separate. Which won't be fair on either party really, I honestly don't know the answer. Dogs IMO need to have been used to cats from a young age to be able to be around them.

[EmpressaurusOfTheScathingTinsel]

It sounds as if your boyfriend & his dogs had better get a place down the road.

[ZekeZeke]

This won't work.
Either the dog or cats need to go.

[KittySmith1986]

@K0OLA1D

I don't think I'd ever be able to trust a dog who is so reactive. Apart from keeping them completely separate. Which won't be fair on either party really, I honestly don't know the answer. Dogs IMO need to have been used to cats from a young age to be able to be around them.

Neither do I. Thank you for your honest reply.

[KittySmith1986]

I probably should have mentioned that the dog is young. 2 years old.

[HollywoodTease]

Setters are bred for hunting, they have a strong prey drive. Any smaller animal will be seen as something to chase and kill. ☹️

You could try introducing them slowly and for short periods but getting any kind of rapport will be a long slow process and might never happen.

How much training has the dog had? Sessions with a behaviourist might help.

In the meantime I'm afraid I'm Team Cat, you may have to shelve the idea of living together whilst your bf still has his ddog.

[ilovesooty]

I wouldn't be considering moving a boyfriend with a reactive dog in.

Your poor cats. It's their home and they should feel safe in it.

[KittySmith1986]

@ilovesooty

I wouldn't be considering moving a boyfriend with a reactive dog in.

Your poor cats. It's their home and they should feel safe in it.

I completely agree.

[Flatpackedboxes]

Baby gate. Dog downstairs, cats upstairs with access to the outside.

[K0OLA1D]

We have a dog but we had cats before him. Same with my mums dogs who can be around my cats. My nans dog is fine with them as well but was exposed to them from a young age.

Is the dog reactive in a mouthy way? Snapping to get the cats? Or in a more playful way? My mums latest dog, a 2 year old Cockerpoo, likes to run up to my cats, but has respect for their boundaries and bows down into play mode when he approaches them. I have 4 and 3 just steer clear when he's about, but my youngest does play with him and she allows him to bonk her on the head with his paw. Does he come back when called to leave them? Or does he obsessively seek them out? With him being young, if it's not a hunt/prey sort of thing, there could be a chance. How curious are your cats with him? If they're likely to bolt, then that would encourage him. But if like me you have a docile one then maybe a slower introduction could work.

[KittySmith1986]

@Flatpackedboxes

Baby gate. Dog downstairs, cats upstairs with access to the outside.

That sounds like a potential solution. Thank you. The dog has had no training but bf will do whatever is necessary and crate train if that’s something that might help.

[cheezncrackers]

I wouldn't have a dog like that moving in with my cat. Either the dog would have to go, or the boyfriend wouldn't be moving in.

[Branleuse]

He maybe needs to move closer, but not in with you. It won't work unless he gives up the dog, which is not fair either.

[ttattooedlady]

So my dog was 1 when I fostered her and cat was 8 but had never been around dogs. The difference is the dog had previously lived happily with cats. The cat did take some time to warm to the dog and they are still not best friends. The dog would love the cat to be her bestie but cats gonna cat . Anyway the only thing you can do is start now to introduce them and train dog but slowly and build up time. Firstly getting them used to each other's scent, then having the separate but in the same house, then behind a safety gate and eventually one sat with you and one with your bf but in the same room controlled. This will take a long time to do as the cats will need lots of confirmation on separate occasions that the dog is not going to suddenly lunge and dog needs lots of exposure over multiple occasions where he is trained to sit in the presence of the cats without chasing or being obsessed. Lots of praise for calm behaviour around the cats.
I'd buy the calming spray that's works for both cats and dogs, it smells disgusting but does work, feliways and cat calming tablets.

Even after all that I'd still keep them separated when you are not in or able to supervise. I'd allow cats upstairs but not the dog ever, make the cats a safe space upstairs where they can be fed and have stimulation and access to litter trays and outside. Create a routine for the cats so they feel safe and secure being let out etc or being with you in the living room. Never leave them alone together and don't allow the dog upstairs even with you because it will make the cats area feel less safe. You will have to be really on it all the time so no mistakes with leaving doors or gates open for example.

[Jonsnowsghost]

@HollywoodTease

Setters are bred for hunting, they have a strong prey drive. Any smaller animal will be seen as something to chase and kill. ☹️

You could try introducing them slowly and for short periods but getting any kind of rapport will be a long slow process and might never happen.

How much training has the dog had? Sessions with a behaviourist might help.

In the meantime I'm afraid I'm Team Cat, you may have to shelve the idea of living together whilst your bf still has his ddog.

Although they are Gundogs and originally bred for hunting, Setters 'point' to game, standing very still, rather than chasing and killing.

There's also a lot more of the show English setters around than Working, which are generally more chilled.

Nonetheless, OP for your boyfriend's dog I would get him to take them to training classes way before it steps anywhere near your house. You can also use Adaptil as a plug in or a Zylkene supplement in the dogs food which have calming properties. Once the dog is listening fully then do very slow introductions.

I am team Cat, but we are also getting an English Setter soon (puppy though so we can instill the boundaries!) And I have made sure my cat is as prepared as I can, he will have upstairs and the puppy will be downstairs, with a staircase gate in place. We have cat shelves built all around the room (which he can get to from the stairs) so he can stay up high and all his stuff is upstairs. He's an indoor cat who likes an occasional trip to the garden so doesn't have to run the gauntlet to get past the dog to use the toilet etc.

We will also be crate training and the crate is set up already so the cat is used to it and has had a good inspect.

It's all about time and training. However if the dog is still intent on chasing your cat I would agree with a PP that your boyfriend should move nearby rather than in, despite getting a puppy soon I will always be team cat!

[TheSnowyOwl]

I think your boyfriend will need to look into professional training for the dog and see whether it makes a difference. I’d be very wary of such a dog being near my cats.

[bubblicious353]

Look up Kent greyhound rescue - they have excellent resources about introducing a dog to a cat household. Might be helpful

[coffeecupsandwaxmelts]

We've had four cats living with our hunting breed (beagle). They all co-exist very happily but we introduced the dog when he was a puppy so he was less of a "threat" to our existing adult cats. He'd also been raised with cats at the breeders so was already used to them when he arrived with us.

That was nearly six years ago - since then, one of the cats has passed away and have also introduced two more kittens. There's never been any issues. Both the kittens were from local farms and were used to dogs when they arrived, which I think definitely helped.

Personally, I wouldn't risk a reactive adult dog around any of my cats. The risk is too big for me (and a setter could easily leap a baby gate if it wanted to!).

[Snork11]

I have actually successfully integrated an adult high prey drive dog with an adult cat (with the cat being a newcomer), so I know it can be done, but it takes a lot of work, a lot of time and a very special set of compatible animals. I also have a fair bit of training background and I still wouldn't have done it if my daughter's first word hadn't been "kitty," her every Christmas and birthday wish hadn't been "kitty" (in a house full of dogs), if my dogs had been different than what I had at the time and there hadn't been a kitty who desperately needed a home. I'm not so sure I would attempt it with this particular dog (2yo, untrained, extremely fixated on cats) without professional help because the consequences if things go wrong can be heartbreaking.

By the time our cat came into our family, my high prey drive dog, despite being a non-traditional obedience-bred dog (British bulldog, of all things) had had years of practically daily training (because we both really enjoy it) and already sported a number of titles in obedience, agility and even trick training. He might look for all the world like an overstuffed, drooly, snorty couch cushion but don't underestimate him, he's not your standard family pet. He's going to be 9 this year and we still work several times a week, just for fun. Important here is that despite his high prey drive, he has a reliable recall off-leash, heels well and, when in doubt, looks at me for guidance. I also did a lot of work desensitizing him towards cats and other small furry animals outside our house and was able to reliably have him heel off leash past the barn cats before we even considered bringing a cat into our home.

Even then, when the cat (who was excellent with dogs) came, after weeks of careful supervised successful interactions, I got overconfident and one moment of inattention led to a serious chase. Thankfully the bulldog immediately stopped when I called him, but it was unnerving. After that, I decided that the stress of being constantly vigilant was too much so we kept the cat free roaming upstairs, sleeping with my daughter and the dog downstairs, sleeping in my bedroom like he always had. They didn't see each other for the better part of 6 months. The cat slowly introduced himself - when he was ready, he'd come and sit on the balcony where the dog could see him but not approach and the cat could see us, spending weeks just sleeping there all day long while we went about our business on the main floor. For weeks, the cat would inch closer and I'd reward the dog for not paying any attention.

All and all, it was almost 9 months from when the cat came home to the day he casually hopped the babygate and said "here I am, now feed me." I'm not going to lie, I was in a blind panic when he did that but the dog made a show of ignoring the cat and then wanting a cookie so all that training had worked. It was another three months or so until they both started sleeping on my bed together.

My dog is now reliably good with cats that I bring home as long as they're introduced properly (slowly, over time). Outside, he will still chase anything small and furry that runs if he gets a chance and isn't explicitly told not to.

If you do decide to go for it, go SLOWLY, carefully, take much more time than you think you need and have a plan for what you'll do if it doesn't work.

[ShyOchreDeer]

It takes time. Introduce them slowly I've got 4 cats and 2 puppies the cats just stay out the puppies way although they do come face 2 face and the cats put the pups in their place 🤷‍♀️