Is it possible to organise a wedding by mid September???

[minko]

DP and I have been together 10 years in September and he is also 40 the same week. Am thinking of finally organising a smallish wedding on his birthday, and combine the parties. (Not really for financial reasons but just because if we're going to get all our friends together we might as well get married too!)

I'm thinking register office do, then meal with the in-laws and close friends, then big party with DJ for the evening.

Do-able???

[happywomble]

sorry the website I was referring to above is Coverwood Lakes.

[minko]

Thanks womble. That looks fab.

However, we seem to have a plan, but it's already going wrong... I booked the registry office today for 1pm. I thoguht we'd have all the relatives there and then have lunch together. Then kids and olds can go home and we'd have a party at a hotel nearby.

Now DP is worrying people won't travel long distance just for a party. He also thinks we should pay for everyone's hotel room who wants to stay over (at £100 a room).

Would you travel 200 miles for a party??? Or should we invite everyone to the RO service and meal too.

I wanted things to be SIMPLE!

[oranges]

What can you afford? I'd invite everyone to everything, but not offer to pay for hotel rooms.

[Tillyscoutsmum]

Minko - can you get the registry office later ?? or even find a venue which will do a civil ceremony ? You could then have a service, a drinks reception with canapes and then a big party later on with food (maybe a hot/substantial buffet been as you're not having a formal day time thing ?). You can then invite everyone without incurring ridiculous cost of two lots of food.

I sort of agree with your DP - there's no way I would offer to pay for hotel rooms but I suspect people who were travelling 200 miles would want to actually see you get married iyswim ?

[harpsichordcarrier]

yes it's fine
GET HELP though

[frAKKINPannikin]

Yes they'll come for a party - it's his 40th and a wedding! I'm travelling nearly 800 miles for my friend's wedding and obviously paying for my own room.

If you want then invite them to the registry office but keep the meal family (and close friends).

[minko]

DP is saying he'll pay for it all, he is v. paranoid about offending anyone and also that no-one will come to 'just a party'...

[aarghhelp]

We took 6 weeks. Church wedding. Effectively a big Xmas party after. It was great.

(congrats )

[minko]

Oh, I've always dreaded planning this and now I know why. My friends all ask when I'm getting married because they want a party and a chance for a boogy! Do people really need to witness the wedding itself??

[Tillyscoutsmum]

Don;t dread it .... Its honestly as stressful as you let it be... Now - deep breaths ....

If your DP is happy to pay for everyone to come, then why not invite everyone ??

You know your friends/family better than us and if you don't think they'd mind coming for the party only, then just invite them to that...

What do YOU want to do ?

We got married last year - got married at 3pm civil ceremony in a hotel with about 80 people. We had champagne and canapes reception whilst the photos were being done and a kids tea at 5.30 so the dc's got chance to eat before some of them were packed off to bed. The main food was then at 8 pm (Mexican buffet - chill, fajitas, wedges etc.). The DJ was on from 5.30 so the dc's could have a dance before they went. It worked really well. We had everyone we wanted, everyone had plenty of food, drink and dancing and it didn't cost a ridiculous amount of money.

BUT - if you'd rather have a "quiet" meal for close family and then a big party later then do that. If it will allay your dp's fears of people being offended, then maybe you could make it a free bar later or something ?

[Guadalupe]

I organised mine in just over three weeks and though it was meant to be tiny, it escalated and we had 40 people at the wedding and a 100 at the reception.

It was a bit mental and I went a bit mental as I also had a three month old ds. I don't particularly recommend it but it was fun and you have more time. You have to make some snap decisions though.

[minko]

Yes, I'd prefer a quiet meal with family and close friends. Just not sure how to define the 'close friends'! It would make sense for it to be the ones with hotel rooms, but that's at least half the party (about 30).

Otherwise I wonder what we'll do with everyone between after the ceremony and the evening do.

[Tillyscoutsmum]

Try and get out of the mentality that it is your job to keep everyone happy/occupied for the whole thing. You're getting married, providing a meal and a party later - what people do in between shouldn't really worry you.

If you go to a restaurant with a bar attached, then the chances are, by the time the ceremony is over, the photos are done, the meal is eaten and everyone has had chance to have a few drinks and a good catch up in the bar, it will be nearly time for the evening do anyway. So just invite those that you really want there and don't worry about who's got rooms and who hasn't.

Have you been dress shopping yet ? Any ideas what sort of thing you fancy ? How are you getting on with the venue hunt ? If you have the day time meal in the same venue then it will be easier to find somewhere. I don't really know Surrey but am happy to have a look for you if you want ?

[MadameCastafiore]

Minko - canapes are very very pricey for what you get - it is the work that goes into producing them.

Maybe rather than proper canapes (one mouthful) do mini burgers and kebabs and fish and chips - costs a lot less and lines your stomach a bit more than a quails egg on a bit of spinach on a tiny round of bread!

[minko]

Thank you both. Tillysm you are speaking a lot of sense...I am getting too worried about keeping everyone entertained.

After another sleepless night of worrying about all this, I think I've decided we will invite the close friends we want to the service and meal and everyone else to the evening do. Now I just hope we don't start getting bogged down in best men and speeches and wedding favours and cake cutting because I REALLY don't want all that!!

Really I want people to come for the party and since everyone has kids (we're all mid/late 30's) I'm worried they'll opt for the day and go home in the evening!

[Tillyscoutsmum]

Its not compulsory to do all the cake, speeches, favours, napkins matching the bridesmaids knickers and all that malarky - honestly. Its a party and a celebration of you and your dh2b and everything else is second to that. Have what you two want and don't worry about anything else.

Wrt the kids thing - you might find some of your friends will leave the dc's at home with babysitters and take the opportunity to have a child free night. For the others, it might be worth investigating child care options at your venue (whether there is a baby listening service or any local baby sitters you might be able to use). We didn't organise anything for guests but we did put the information in the invites so they could organise it themselves if they wanted to.

No more sleepless nights now ... once the venue is booked and guest list is sorted, everything else is a breeze.... promise

[minko]

Oh, you're great! Can you come and organise it for me...

Have an appointment to see our (hopefully) chosen venue tomorrow. Will ask about child facilities. Also hope they will let kids have a kids meal and not make us fork out £50 each for them too!

at matching napkins to bridesmaids knickers!

[SlartyBartFast]

mine was about 6 weeks, and a church. once i had made up my mind i wanted it done Now. no hanging aobut.

[minko]

Yes me too. Got to sort out invites now and get them in the post!

I have a dress btw, I bought it about a year ago! That's one of the nice bits, also need bridesmaids dresses, shoes etc. The shopping bit is quite fun.

Thank you all for your help. I feel a bit more optimistic now. I'm sure I'll be back with more worries soon though!

[Tillyscoutsmum]

I'd happily organise it - I love weddings and have got withdrawal symptoms after mine

Glad you're feeling a bit better. It'll all be fine. There is a real thing these days to keep everyone entertained (magicians, charicaturists (sp ?), casinos etc etc) and no disrespect at all to people who have those things, I'm sure they're great, but to me a wedding is about people getting together, having a good old chat and a boogie to a cheesy DJ later on. We're all perfectly capable of spending hours in a pub or restaurant without being "entertained", so there's no need to worry about wedding guests not being happy. They'll love just being there and celebrate with you and your family

The biggest stress I had was when me and DH disagreed on things - that was the horrible part !

Hope the meeting at the venue goes well tomorrow... most places will either do half portion of adult meal at half price or a "children's" meal (fish finger and chips type thing) for a bit less still.

And yes - the shopping bit is fab. There's a thread on here with loads of good links to website for shoes, jewellery, bridesmaid dress etc which might be useful. Will try and find it

Good luck

[frAKKINPannikin]

If you go down the route of hiring outside childcare post on the CMs, nannies, au pairs section - there are a fair few nannies in your area (I think) and even if there aren't then we may know someone who is, possibly even someone who does event childcare (although hte only person I can think of off-hand is in Essex).

[Qally]

I did it in 13 days.

Booked registry office (had to be midweek, and we had to shift a day over so a close friend could get it off work.) It being midweek meant the florist was able to make me bouquet, button holes, and cake topper without a problem. Dress from Monsoon sale, shoes LK Bennett, hair a fab local salon, and makeup I did myself. Cake - two weeks is plenty of notice for a chocolate wedding cake! Had the reception here and again, a midweek lunch was no trouble at all, as it was extra custom for them. Invited 30 closest family and friends and only 3 were unable to make it. Twas a fabulous day and we avoided the anticlimax and stress of most weddings, IMO. All lovely.

I strongly recommend a last minute wedding. Cheaper, more relaxed, and you enjoy it just as much. It's our 4th anniversary on August 16th and it was genuinely one of the best days of our lives, second only to DS arriving last November!

Finally - a friend used these people. They offer very cheap last minute weddings after cancellations. Might be worth a look-see? Because the other benefit to sorting a wedding out quickly is that it doesn't spiral, cost-wise. Ours was everything we wanted, and extremely cheap as weddings go. It was honestly more fun than a lot of weddings two years in the planning - probably because it was so relaxed. We just focused on a nice venue, nice food, and good wine.