4 year old DD just been uninvited to a party tomorrow

[Coffee999]

Hi, I am a bit shocked as I have received a text from a mother saying her daughter has been upset by my daughter this week and so she'd rather she doesn't come to her daughter's party tomorrow. She doesn't know exactly what happened but doesn't want her daughter upset at her party. I will ask my daughter what happened in the morning but I am feeling dreadful. It's going to be so awkward at pre school for the rest of the term. How should I handle this?

[MarthasGinYard]

I'd definitely see teacher "just wondered what happened at school as dc was uninvited to dc party for being mean'

Just to let the teacher know the DM is one of 'those'

Suspect she already knows....

[NorthernRunner]

Eurgh
I hate parents like this, my daughter had a very similar experience. Her ‘best friend’ started being mean, leaving her out of games, saying she couldn’t play because her toys were better than DD’s, she told DD that she had a better bedroom, a better backpack, a better sparkly dress and so on...anyway my DD started saying she didn’t want to be friends with her anymore and took herself off to play with some other children. I then got a very nasty message from the mother saying my DD was purposefully excluding her child, and I should make DD play with her, my answer was no way, I’m not going to force my child to be friends with a mean girl.
Ironically this mother was convinced her DD was going to be bullied when she was older, but to be honest she is more likely to become the bully, from my experience of her behaviours. Always excused, exceptionally spoilt, and has a real nasty streak.
These people are best avoided, the drama gives me such a headache.

[Coffee999]

I did reply with a - I will have a chat with my DD. Wish I had not even replied though. Have removed that mother's details from my phone. Taking DD to soft play today with a sweet friend. Moving on, trying to ignore horrid behaviour from adults.....Thank you for great advice x

[deadsexy]

Did you reply?

[ConstanzaAndSalieri]

My nearly seven year old came out of school crying last week and said

“Mummy! I’m NOT going to x’s party and he’s not coming to mine”

[awkward... invitations already swapped, parties are the same weekend]

Obviously it has since blown over but a weaker mum hearing that sort of reaction the day before the party might have caved.

I’d ignore and move on. It’s a bit sad but they’re four, it happens lots...

[kingseven]

However agree with previous poster to check with Pre-School nothing serious has happened. Unlikely imo however.

[kingseven]

I have an almost 4 year old who has a best friend who is occasionally at pick up her worst enemy who she is never going to speak to ever again.

I tell her in an age appropriate way I am sure they will work things out. They are best friends again the following day.

Engaging in her drama to this level does not bode well for this little girls future.

[MarthasGinYard]

'I’d ask the teacher if anything happened in the week and explain why you’re asking '

Definitely

[Howtotrainyourhamster]

Absolutely bonkers (the other mother). She’s going to have a fun time in reception...

[TheGodmother]

Def don't reply! Take your DD out for the day and don't even think about it again! Batshit crazy mum of a PFB!

[BrokenWing]

Don't reply. Not worth getting drawn into.

[MoreCookiesPlease]

So sorry, OP, that this has happened. This is the second thread I've read about 4-year-olds uninviting others and parental politics. Bizarre. This other mother needs to chill.out and realise that kids fall out! She sounds like she's nuts and totally high maintenance. Crazy woman.
Take DD somewhere lovely for the day instead and get her a small present.

[Wolfiefan]

You do know that mother will be here tomorrow posting that her child burst into tears as her best friend couldn’t come to her party.
Surely if anything awful had occurred then staff would have mentioned it. Kids fall in and out of friendships over tiny non events at that age.

[00100001]

Well Batshit Mum will have to explain to her upset child why her friend didn't come to the party, because her DD will be very confused and have no recollection of being upset and why in the morning!

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

I’d ask the teacher if anything happened in the week and explain why you’re asking

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

What a tit ignore, especially when they’ll come back running in the future. I’d reply: “what a relief! DD has been saying how much your daughter upset her and didn’t want to come to the party. Obviously I explained to her it would be a poor behaviour not to attend a party after confirming attendance so she’ll be relieved you cave in first!”

[Bringbackthestripes]

Oh blimey- This time next year her kid will have run out of friends to invite. Ignore.

[tenbob]

I’m normally the last person to encourage or endorse any bitchy behaviour but this is the one time I would start some whispered gossip about her being one of those mums

On the plus side, you’ve found out early that she is exhausting and to be avoided

[Whereistheglove]

Yeah don’t bother replying. Sometimes you say it best when you say nothing at all.
This speaks volumes of her so don’t give it too much thought

[CripsSandwiches]

@Jenniferturkington

I can't believe there are more of these mental mothers, barring something very serious having happened and my DC being genuinely scared I would insist they went to the party they'd agreed to go to notwithstanding any ridiculous playground bickering.

[Gunpowder]

This happened to me with a play date! At 11.45 the night before. Some people are completely bonkers OP. I think your DD has had a lucky escape! IME 4 year olds think anything with a couple of balloons and a cake is a party, so invite one friend round and eat party rings so your DD isn’t disappointed. At least it’s preschool and you don’t have to see her from September.

[EugenesAxe]

Actually fairly speechless. WTF!! If your DD recounts something like that, you say “Well I’m sorry she upset you but we’ve invited her and we can’t say now she can’t come. If she is still upsetting you at the party come and let me know.”

That woman is going to be shafted! Her DD is going to be the most spoilt brat ever if she carries on. Wow.

[Persimmonn]

I agree, don’t answer. She’s probably expecting a grovelling reply. Just ignore it, and ignore her from here on in. Her little one is going to have a hard life if the mum carries on like this.

[Jenniferturkington]

God this brings back memories. Dd was having her 6th birthday party; the day before I get a text from her best friend’s mum saying bf is not coming anymore as dd had upset her at playtime. I sent breezy text ‘gosh, so sorry dd has upset her blah blah, please reconsider’. She stuck to her guns and it was awkward thereafter.

[deadsexy]

Mmmm I agree silence probably the best thing here, let her mull her batshitness over