Is anybody doung elimination communication?

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

I sort of do with DD - well she leads it. She's seven weeks and she will generally let me know if she needs to wee - if I'm paying attention and I'm fast I'll get the nappy off and then she'll wee in it when I cue her.

She's just weeing in nappies at the moment, and she, quite rightly, won't wear a wet one. We're going through 15/16 every 24hrs which is a PITA with all the washing.

I've tried cueing over a bowl, once, and she didn't seem keen, and didn't wee - it also seemed really awkward to hold her and we both got stressed. What's the best way to do this - seems daft to get her to pee into a clean nappy every time Is she too wee for a potty if I held her?

Also, any advice on what she should wear? She's in babygrows at the moment, and they take ages to get through the poppers. I have tried her in a t-shirt and baby legs, but she's not keen because the tshirt rides up all of the time - maybe a vest and babylegs?. I want to keep her in nappies - I'm not a serious ECer and can't be doing with cleaning up misses. Plus if she's asleep she just goes whenever.

Any advice welcome?

[BrittanyBeers]

Shit, I called you Fab, IAGTBF!
Soz.

[MavisG]

I ec. Am on the UK and US Yahoo groups, they're excellent.

I mainly hang out with other ec-ers now, forgot how mental my other friends think I am until I read this thread. Nowadays I think it's madness to train a child to wet/poo himself and then complain when he's still in nappies at 3. Each to their own...

[tartyhighheels]

[cory]

Really interested: how do you manage a social life if not using nappies? How do you manage things like an older child's parents meeting, or Sunday dinners with elderly relatives, or shopping trips, or any travelling at all, if you have to constantly watch for signs that your baby is ready to wee (into what on a packed bus?)?

Genuinely interested, just remembering all the things I did when I had babies, partly for my sake, partly for other family members. How do you organise it?

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

If I get that far I'll let you know

[MavisG]

I use nappies as back up when travelling etc - these days (son is 18 months) usually cotton training pants with enough absorbency to hold a bit of a wee, which is all he tends to do before realising and stopping. When he was younger I would tell him, on e.g. a bus, to pee in his nappy and that I'd change him as soon as we got off and not to worry, and now I prompt him to pee at convenient toilets just as you would an older child.

You don't need to closely watch them constantly, they get clearer with their signs and anyway it doesn't matter if you miss signals and don't potty them in time because you're out having a lovely time and both get distracted. Usually I just take my son with me when I go to the loo and he will pee then.

You really don't have to ec all the time. You can just e.g. choose to hold them over the loo when they poo, then you've less mess to clear up, and/or just after naps/when they wake up, they often pee then, and/or 20 mins or so after a big feed. The more you offer the potty, the more they trust you to do so and the more they hold on. I didn't know about ec until my son was older and started at 9 months, I loved the extra closeness it brought us and as an added benefit, by the time he was a year I was washing one-two nappy loads a week instead of one a day. Magic.

[MoonFaceMama]

Yes, we just put ds in nappies when out, or too busy to watch him. Lots of people just offer the potty at nappy changes. At least if they have a wee you know the nappy will be dry for a while.

[Effjay]

This is called rod for your own back! Really, you don't need to change the nappy every time she wees. Don't even think about potty training until

A. They can sit up
B. They can tell you when they want to go

Otherwise you are going to be doing multiple washes of clothes, carpets, cushions, sofas, etc. which is much worse than changing nappies. Trust me I know!

[cory]

Thanks for explaining, Mavis.

[MoonFaceMama]

effjay, op's ds is telling her when she wants to wee. In the same way that babies communicate when they are hungry, cold, tired etc.

Her dd is clearly more comfortable weeing out of a nappy and staying dry. Is it not normal that op would want to respond to this? We can't always do as our dc want, but we want to try. Eg. I can't play with ds when i'm driving and he's in the car seat, no matter how board he is. But that doesn't stop me having fun with him when we get home. Iyswim

Sitting up isn't an issue. You can hold them over the potty/bowl/loo etc.

It's much easier to hold a baby over a potty than change a nappy. However it isn't always practical. The good thing about ec lostinfrance is that it isn't all or nothing, part time is fine. Grandparents, nursary etc don't have to be involved (though they can easily learn to cue)

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

I know its PFB but I do have time, so if I know DD is about to wee/has just weed in her nappy then I will change her.

Is it so unreasonable of me to not want her sat in a wet nappy? - it's only when she's awake that she notices so not a problem and night etc.

Effjay I'm just adding one more rod to the list I already co-sleep, feed on demand, carry in sling if I need to go somewhere, feel massive guilt if she needs to cry for more than a few seconds....

[BertieBotts]

I think rod for your own back is such a misleading phrase - it's only a problem if you consider it one. Some people will hear about EC and think "Oh no, I couldn't be doing with that, much easier to change a nappy" and some people will hear about it and think "Why didn't I think of that? That has to be easier/more pleasant than using nappies!"

In much the same way, we had a discussion at toddler group the other day about breastfeeding. Nearly all the mums said they wouldn't breastfeed a subsequent child, at least not past 6 months, because they said in their experience, breastfed babies woke up more at night and wanted to suck for comfort more. Whereas I said I'd rather take the night wakings and comfort sucking and not have to worry about buying milk, washing, sterilising and making up bottles constantly. Just horses for courses, isn't it?

[MavisG]

Just on the nursery/grandparent point, our CM potties our son as part of her routine, on a timing basis, and if she sees he's thinking of pooing. With grandparents we remind them to take him to the loo with them when they go and that if he gets upset the cause could be that he needs to go/has wet himself.

[MoonFaceMama]

Exactly bertie! Couldn't have said it better myself!

Itsallgoingtobefine i think you are doing a wonderfull thing. You are clearly enjoying your dd and very in touch with her needs. I know what you mean about crying. Sometimes it can't be helped, but it is a call for attention, we're ment to feel compeled to "fix" it.

Don't you just love those rods!

[toccatanfudge]

I don't think Harimo was being rude - and if she was - fair play to the OP - she seems to have taken it all in her stride and laughed it off.

Personally I think you're bonkers

mt DS1 could "wee on demand" before he turned one.............he wasn't actually able to control his bladder until just after his 3rd birthday (and has only in the last week managed to control his bladder overnight - he's 9 1/2yrs!).

And oh and to whoever mentioned about places in the world where they don't have enough water etc to wash nappies - I think you'll find the problem is (in general - droughts excluded) a lack of safe drinking/cooking water.

My exH grew up in rural Zimbabwe, he wore reusables, there was always some at home with him in the village (read mud huts ) to be washing on a daily basis (by hand) and the weather meant they were dry within the hour - so didn't even need that many. As a result he refused to even consider using reusables. Anyhow - that's OT

Fair play to the OP if that's what she wants to spend her time (but I still think she's slightly bonkers )

[72percentcocoa]

In answer to the original post, at the early neonatal stage, I used a potty once my son was 3 weeks. Once he was about 2.5 months old, he was able to sit with support in the baby born little potty. I also use the baby born toilet seat so that he can use the toilet. He will give signals such as coming of the breast in the middle of his feed and then poo. I'd much rather he poo'd in a potty then a nappy. He is much easier to clean. He has never had nappy rash. I like the idea he doesn't have to sit in a dirty nappy. As adults we wouldn't want to have poo in our pants either! The other time I can usually catch a poo before it goes on the nappy is after he wakes in the morning. After most naps he will go on his potty and he will pee. I am so used to EC'ing now ( baby is now 4 months). Really can't stand baby being in a soaked nappy for any length of time.

[HansieMom]

I think some mothers hold them over a bathroom sink. You could get a child's potty (just the container) and hold her over that.

I took my dog to a veterinarian/acupuncturist for acupuncture (dachshund, bad back) and the vet was Asian. She did something similar (catch them when the baby was going to eliminate) with her daughter and was successful.

It is a cool idea. Good luck with it.

[ChunkyPickle]

We're just like 72Percentcocoa.

He does pretty much all his poos in a potty (a big armchair babybjorn since he's only 3.5 months), wee is a lot more hit and miss, but he also hates being in any kind of wet nappy (and I use disposables where I can barely tell, so I don't know how he does). Never had nappy rash, and a generally happy chap.

Being able to flush the poo down the toilet, and clean it off with one little wet wipe rather than having it smeared all over his bumb and lower half is worth every moment sat with him on the potty!

[renegadesoundwave]

Very much the same as 72Percentcocoa and ChunkyPickle here. Have ECd DD since she could hold herself up confidently at five months - we use the John Lewis economy potty which is pretty small (and cheap). If we're out and about I hover her over the loo which surprisingly works quite well. Never had nappy rash and she's a happy little soul. We do get a few false alarms occasionally, but it takes about as much faffing about as changing nappies IME.

And it was an absolute godsend when she had D&V. Strangely her cues were even more unmistakeable then (patting stomach then banging both hands on knees). Money saved on disposables, less washing, less landfill, no stinky nappies in the bin or washing machine..

I would say it can't hurt to give it a go. If it works, great, if not, then at least they know what a potty is for.

[mamsnet]

More bloody smugness this.

[exexpat]

I used to know the author of The Diaper Free Baby and she told me all about how it worked for her (she has at least three children).

She wasn't a lentil-weaving earth mother type either - more a very high-powered, highly focused New Yorker who transferred all that energy and focus onto her children when she wasn't working. It all sounded like far too much work for me, and difficult to get out and about, but obviously it works for some people.

[otchayaniye]

"Or I might be imagining the whole thing"

I set out doing this. I thought I knew what her cues were. Simple fact is I didn't really. Wishful thinking and confirmation bias on my part. That said, I did get some success. But I got lots of wee and poo on the floor as well. Not that I minded, but we spent much of the day out and about in either Singapore or then Central London using public transport. I was never in the house really between 11am and 4pm.

Basically, I came to the conclusion that however desirable using so few nappies was, it was outweighed by the rich, fun and yes, (fuck it) convenient life outside our home using nappies and not lugging a potty about.

I more or less gave up and then went the other way, waiting way over the time I thought she was ready (she was talking in sentences at 14/15 months) and at 24 months she went from nappies to knickers in two days and is dry at night.

Good luck.

[sleepingcatshark]

I haven't read the entire thread, so apologies for any repetition/deviation, but I conventionally trained my eldest, then ec-ed my other two, and greatly preferred the latter approach. One of those individual ceramic oval pie dishes makes a convenient receptacle for tiny babies. I'd say it's well worth a go if you're that way inclined.