CM gave ds pulled elbow, in a quandry

[sambo303]

My CM has never given me any call for concern at all so far but there was an incident this week that has made me concerned/shocked. I'd like to hear of any others who have had their child sustain an injury like this whilst in childcare, what did you do.
What happened was, the cm called dp to ask him to collect ds - when he turned up ds was screaming in agony. The cm mumbled something about ds hitting her daughter (same age) but then burst into tears. Dp left with ds and his arm was fixed at the hospital and is ok. the nurse says it's a common injury. We've done more research and it seems you need to yank the child's arm quite hard to get this injury.
So now we're thinking, did the cm lose her temper and injure ds in anger? and if so, what do we do now?

The thing is, ds was strapped into the buggy next to the cm's daughter at the time -so she was not moving him away from a situation - we have yet to have a clear explanation of the incident, which we will hopefully have this weekend. In the meantime, it would be good to have some advice on how we should approach the whole situation.

[LadyGardenia]

sambo hi hope you are all right, and I hope ds is all right.

I think you can't really figure anything out until you have seen her face to face and you are both calm and she can tell you, in some detail, what happened. Only then can you judge whether you're happy with how she reacted at the time, in the aftermath - before your dp picked him up - and later, when she met your dp. The thing is that even if it was a pure accident with no extra force etc if she is going to be looking after him she has to be able to cope when things happen, so presumably she should have rung you and brought him to A&E or something. And she should have given a full and frank explanation as soon as possible, of course.

I am not sure what the record form is - I presume a health and safety thing - but if it's the case that it contains an account of the accident and how she dealt with it, and that you were happy with the outcome, I would also caution you not to sign it when she brings it round - I'm not saying what's in it won't be accurate - but that you ought not to sign anything like that in a stressed state. Keep it, tell her you will talk to dp/think about it/have a reread of it later etc and you can drop it back to her.

[SpawnChorus]

DD's elbow was very easily dislocated...it used to happen with the most innoccuous activities!

It doesn't sound like she's acting weirdly, just that she's horrified at inadvertently injuring your DS.

That said, I wouldn't leave my DCs with someone that I didn't trust 100% (even if it's for an irrational reason), so in your position I would consider moving to another CM.

[NowWhatIsit]

In my opinion the two main points here are -

1. Pulled elbow is common, not necessarily caused by excessive force.

BUT.....

1. She is behaving very oddly - bursting into tears and not giving a proper explanation, saying dont pay for that day...

If it were me she would need to do alot of explaining before I was happy to send him back.

Hope you are OK

[dixiechick1975]

My friend's mum pulled her young son's elbow out of the socket playing row the boat. Hospital said it was common due to child's age and development.

BUT this is not the scenario here.

I'd want an explanation and would look elewhere for care.

[PlanetEarth]

It's pretty common, my DH gave DD this injury when he was holding her hand to help her up and she refused to get up and flopped back onto the floor.

(For a while afterwards she was telling people, "Daddy broke my elbow! )

[vinauchocolat]

I would never send my child back there.

[cory]

The accident in itself wouldn't worry me.

It wouldn't worry me even if the CM had yanked the child suddenly to protect another child (doesn't necessarily have to be a punishment, could be an emergency reaction).

But I would be very worried by a CM who couldn't deal with the aftermath = you in an adult and professional manner. Bursting into tears is not what I would expect from a trained adult tbh.

[QSnondomicile]

Op, are you ok? I am concerned you are not back to your thread.

Op, are you actually the childminder?

[kimbles1984]

*pulling

[kimbles1984]

could the childminders little girl have done it by pulling his arm while in the pram, maybe they were hitting and oulling each other?

[BessieBoots]

I would accept that it's an easy thing to do, given what people have written on here, but I'd be very worried at the CMs reaction to what happened. Even if she did yank him hard, she should have expained it exactly to your DH when he picked your son up. Failing htat, she should have phoned/come over in the next few hours after calming down.

Hope you're all okay.

[MrsMiamla]

sambo just seen this... hope F's ok

[LauraNorder]

It's very common in young children.

My DH did it to a friends child - well she sort of did it to herself. She'd pulled it before so was Prone to it. She wanted DH to get up and play with her, he was lying on the floor reading the paper and didn't really want to play (we were pre children ) so she pulled his arm and he let her, anyway she put all her little body weight behind it and managed to pull her arm out .

Her dad is an A&E nurse and DH is a Dr so between them they managed to put it back.

It does happen but a full explanation would be better, she's probably feeling terrible about it, I know DH was even though her parents (and the little girl) were totally fine about it.

[BlameItOnTheBogey]

So very easy to do this without any force. My nephew is prone to it and it can happen at the smallest thing. I'd let it go personally.

[QSnondomicile]

What are you going to do, sambo?

[FabIsGoingToGetFit]

Very strange her saying don't pay me. Suspicious imho.

She must have put your child in the buggy after pulling him.

[QSnondomicile]

I would share my concerns with ofsted, to be honest. Is she registered?

A nursery worker hit my son on the head with a brio wooden train tunnel, to teach him that "you dont hit because it hurts"
I made a complaint to ofsted, and all the staff got additional training set up for them.

[FabIsGoingToGetFit]

My dd had her arm pulled out of its socket and it took days and several hospital visits to be fixed.

I would not be sending my child back there. Whatever your child may have done a CM has no right to physically chastise someone elses child.

[merrymonsters]

DH did this to DS1 when he was about 18 months old. He was just swinging him in a game.

The hospital doctor said that children under 5 have loose joints and that it's really common.

It's a bit odd that the child minder hasn't explained what happened though.

[hellymelly]

My DH gave our dd a pulled elbow just by swinging her,the nurse then said it is really common in that age group (she was about 18m)and often happens by pulling children across the road.I don't think it takes much force and in some children it happens a lot as their joints are so mobile.Of course you need to have it out with your CM but she may have just pulled him away with not much force at all.

[LynetteScavo]

Pulled elbows are common...I had loads as a small child...to the point that my family just didn't bother to do anything, and waited for it to go back... only after my fussing lots did they bother with a trip to A&E.

I pulled DS1's elbow once when he went to hit another child in the park (such a nice toddler he was!), and I pulled him away (I was already holding his hand), and his older cousins manage go pull his elbow when they were playing one day.

I'm not sure how it could happen when your DS was strapped into the buggy though. You really need to have a proper chat about this.

[fidelma]

I find it very stramge that there has been no explanation from your cm.

[misdee]

dd1 at age 4 suffered a pulled elbow. her best friend, also 4yrs old, caused it.

[DanJARMouse]

any update today?