Leaving kids in the car

[Niddlynono]

I was listening to the radio this evening and they had a discussion about the woman who had left her kids at home while she went on holiday. They had someone on the show who ran a parenting website (not Mumsnet) who was commenting on various situations where children might be left and was basically saying that it's not necessary to take a baby, particularly one that's sleeping, out of the car at a petrol station while you go in to pay.

I just wondered what other parents do in that situation. My view is that if I wouldn't leave a £5 on my dashboard when I go to pay, why on earth would I leave the most precious thing in my life in my car? When DS was a baby, even if he was asleep I'd get him out of his car seat and take him with me.

I'd be interested to hear what you all think.

[misdee]

leave kids in the car while paying for petrol. to get 3 kids out of the car safely and walk them across a busy forecourt is a lot more risky IMO.

i'm surprised the thing about the petrol station being struck by lightning hasnt come up yet.

[SenoraPostrophe]

I have also been known to leave a pram outside a shop (as long as there's a window).

I think the reason that fewer people do it now is more to do with increased paranoia than increased danger.

[Jimjams]

I've left ds2 in a shop whilst chasing after ds1 doing a runner. In fact I've abandonned him and my cash all over the place chasing after ds1.

[KiwiKate]

MIL left DH in the car when he was 2. She was gone about 4 minutes. Car was out of sight for about one minute as she dropped off something. He managed to get out of his car seat (something he had never done before) and get out out of the car somehow (even though she had left it locked), and wonder around in the car park. Luckily a stranger saw him and kept him safe until she returned (stranger did not know which car he came out of).

Also, here in NZ where car theft is not huge, recenly a thief stole a car with two kids in it. Apparently did not know there were kids in the car. He stopped and gave the toddlers to two 10 year-olds and asked them to return the toddlers to the petrol station where he had stollen the car from. The cars owner (kids mother) said that she could see the car the whole time she was paying (but obviously had to take her eye off the car which handing over the money). She looked away for just a short while, and when she looked back the car and kids were gone.

Like expatinscottland I also grew up where carjackings were common, and I know of people whose cars were stollen and who never saw their kids again. My cousin's car was stollen and his child THROWN OUT OF THE CAR ONTO THE ROAD. Luckily, she was only bruised and not seriously (physically hurt).

All this shows that it can and does happen that kids in cars can be taken (not always deliberately). While the likelihood of it happening might be very remote (as in the NZ incident), the horror of what can happen to the kids is too great for me to risk. If I could not manage to take the kids out of the car for whatever reason, I'd fill up when I had another adult in the car to watch the kids.

[Fio2]

I have to leave the wheelchair outside shops with ds watchingit here

[pablopatito]

When I was little my parents left me in the car whilst they went to the pub and tied our dog to the steering wheel to stop him jumping on me! Different times.

Its only because cars are so ingrained in our culture that we take our kids in cars at all. Driving your child is by far the most dangerous thing you will ever do to your child. In comparision, leaving them in the car or not at petrol station seems trivial to me.

More children are killed in car accidents every year than by all childhood diseases combined. But how many children are stolen from forecourts a year - not many I would think?

If you want to keep your child safe don't put him in a car in the first place. I leave our DS in the car, outside shops, in the front yard and don't worry about it. But I try to minimise the number of car journeys we do and would never take him for a ride just to get him to sleep.

[geekgrrl]

I think it'd be easier for someone to snatch one of my kids from my hand (or on the loose - 3 children and only 2 hands) as I walk along with them than break into my car to get them.
I don't think anyone is going to make much of an effort to nick my v. ugly VW Sharan, bottom-of-the-range, filled with children.

I leave them in the car at the forecourt (much safer for all the reasons mentioned below) and also leave the 4 & 1 yr old in the car whilst dropping off/collecting dd from school. It's just far more likely that they'd run into the path of a moving vehicle than someone deciding to do a car-jacking (of a cr*p car!!!) from a cul-de-sack in a small Dales village.

[TinyGang]

Sympathies to you JimJams - you have your hands so full.

I've been in similar situations - people will stand and stare, tut or comment jokily (sorry, not funny at that particular point)but they don't often actually help.

Try as I might, I just can't be in two places at once and if one bolts off into danger, you have to follow! You do what you must to keep them safe and sometimes that means making choice which is probably not ideal (as in being left in the car) but safer than the alternative and charging about the garage forecourt.

[tortoiseshell]

Haven't read the whole thread, apologies if repeating anyone.

ALWAYS leave kids in car at petrol station - the idea of getting a 4 year old and a nearly 2 year old out of the car safely without one of them getting run over is ludicrous - there are cars going in all directions, motorbikes, cars reversing. I can watch them all the time, I would SEE someone going to smash the window to steal them. A £5 note is not going to run amok on the forecourt, you can put it in your pocket!

It's a balance of risk isn't it.

[shinypeople]

i have a 6, 4 and 15 month old and if i need fuel when we are out, i will leave them whilst i pay.

If i am getting out of my car for any other eason, i take them with me.

In this heatis is essential that children aren't left (sleeping)in cars unattended.

www.nannyjob.co.uk/messageboard/index.php?board=1;action=display;threadid=9259

[swiperfox]

dp used toi leave his ex's ds in the car at the supermarket. He now knows better than to EVER leave one of ours in the car and what will happen to him if he does!!!

[jasper]

Almost everyone in our village leaves small kids and babies in the car while taking others into school and nursery.

[feebie]

True Philipat, car maintenance is an important factor. However, I still wouldn't take the chance. My ex neighbour lost his child, his wife left him because she just couldn't deal with the circumstances surrounding the death and couldn't face him, and now he spends most of his time in the local pub drinking himself into oblivion. In many states in the US, it's illegal to leave kids unattended in a car. Check out kidsincars.org (I don't know how to post a link). Anyway, that's just my two cents worth

[NomDePlume]

I'm absolutely 100% with SenoraPostrophe here.

[jenkel]

Always leave my 2 dd's (3 and 16 months) in a locker car when i pay for petrol. I can normally see the car from the kiosk and figure that by the time somebody smashes a window I could be there.

[pablopatito]

A few years ago I found a toddler walking down the street crying. I was with my wife so we held his hand and walked him up and down the street until he spotted his mum in the chip shop. He'd obviously been left in her car and had managed to get out.

It was lucky that my wife was with me as I can imagine what could have happened if the woman had walked out of the chip shop and saw a strange man walking down the street with her child - I'd have probably been lynched.

[robinia]

Here's another question - at what age do you think I can leave my dd in the car while I go out of sight for 5 minutes? Dd wants to stay in the car to carry on reading Harry Potter(!) and knows where I am.

[clary]

ah yes this debate again.
What I wodner about all you ?never leave in car?-ers is, what do you do at the supermarket?
You empty trolley of bags into car, you put children into car, and then what? Leave the trolley in the middle of the car park? Get the kids out of the car again to walk them across the busy car park with the trolley?
sorry not wanting to start a fight, just genuinely curious.
I personally choose pay at pump or drive thru options when I fill up with kids in car, but sometimes I do just have to get out of the car and leave them in there.
(blondinlondon at that pub story!

[clary]

meant to add that basically I agree with hunkermunker (as ever) and soupy (lol at leaving keys in car in hoepful fashion!) tho I do agree I always unload car for nursery pick-up, but then I may be in there 5 mins and can?t see what?s happeing outside.

[singersgirl]

Haven't read whole thread, but I live in London and always leave my kids (nearly 7 and nearly 4) in the car when paying for petrol - I lock it. I used to take DS1 in when he was in the Rockatot type car seat. Used to do it when I lived abroad too (but that was Singapore which is fairly safe). I'm far more worried about them getting out than about them being snatched, but they're usually quite happy chatting in the car.

[monkeytrousers]

Didn't Sharon Stone do this when she went for dinner at the Ivy?

[Louise1970]

I have a ds of 20 months and and a dd of 5 months. It is physically impossible to take my children when i need to nip into places. I make sure i park right outside, makeing sure that there is no que at the till too. I Make sure i can see them both from everywhere i go in the post office store/garage/cashpoint. I have been told off many times for parking illegally, i explain that i must see my children at all times. Then people understand. I do not go into anywhere where they can not be seen. My ds only sleeps during the day in the car. I park on our drive, leave him in the car and sit in the window til he wakes, every morning. The car is 10 feet away. When my children are older i will try and take them with me, as i have heard of kids taking the hand brake off etc. Also this subjuect was on the radio the other day, a fireman rang in and said that the amount of cars that combust too.