Searching for non-ridiculous names for my DD's "bits" - please help

[MillGuff]

Wasn't quite sure where to post this, but hopefully, MN will be wonderful as usual.

OK, so I've been referring to her bottom as, well, "bottom" and we're all happy with that.

DH, the dog, the cat and the DCousins all have "willies". No problems there either. We're all clear with that.

So I've got my knickers in a twist about what to call her vagina. I've been calling it just that, as I didn't want to go down the euphemisism "front bottom" road, but it seems so pompous.

Am I being a twit? Let me know your best names please...!

VULVA!!

honestly dd is 2 and says vulva.

Can't stand hearing toddlers talking about vaginas!
I'm all for euphemisms. How about "foo"?

Dd is 2. She knows vulva (outside bits), vagina (inside bits), bum (bottom bits) and we do also say 'your bits' for general referral!

Think she will be fascinated when ds comes along with his 'bits'...

We call in nuni (like 'funny' but in a Northern accent) or fafalina (pron fuffalina) which is what Italians call it and means 'little butterfly'.

I quite like "tuppence."

We say 'bunty', but I'm aware that this doesn't meet your 'non-ridiculous' criteria.

We used to say front bottom - this is quite straightforward and not too cutesy.

I was VERY to hear one of my DS 6-year-old classmates use the word 'fanny' the other day, in a very matter of fact tone!!

Liking all the suggestions so far - thanks.

(I quizzed my brother about it once (he has 3 boys) and he, in all seriousness, suggested "pussy" and then got upset when I exploded in a combination of disbelief, horror and laughter. I asked him whether he'd been living in a cave for the past 20 years or had he failed to see how that particular piece of terminology had moved on?)

Thank god for MN!

oooh I like fafalina.

Bunty is truly marvellous.

Is fanny really a bit ? I was considering that...

Please don't use euphemisims which will be inevitably short term and will send out the messsage that this is a dirty, taboo part of the body which must never be mentioned.

Vulva.

God, I've just remembered something else which sounds bizarre too - my DCousins (all male) call it a "hole".

As in, "No, Granny doesn't have a willy, she has a hole," said in sing-song voice to smaller brothers...

Jesus, my family sounds quite weird. We're not, honest....!

What's wrong with fanny????
as for euphemisms, I don't think 'willy' or 'bottom' implies that the penis or buttocks are dirty and taboo - they are surely just affectionate and non sexual and generally understood by everyone. I suppose what lots of people want for their daughters, but as female genitalia is less spoken about there isn't such a simple affectionate term.
(also thinking of 'tummy' and 'tootsies' and 'toothy pegs' in similar vein)

We use 'nan pan' never sat and thought about it, my Scottish husband always used that word and it's just stuck, doesn't seem inappropriate, and i don't think i'll be too embarrassed when it's said in public.

fanny is seen as rude in some circles - not quite 'pussy', but not as harmless as 'willy'

vulva is definitely a good non-offensive word, and it is useful to teach a word that everyone will recognise in case your child ever needs to speak to another adult about this part of the body - if she is hurt or similar

We say fanny here, dd and ds1/2 very matter of fact about it as it is used in matter of fact way! never occurred to me there might be a problem with it tbh. Girls at ds's school apparently call it a mini...or maybe minnie...

My friends little girl call it her V.

I tried vulva for dd, but she wasn't very interested. She has decided on mini bottom, because that's what she thinks it looks like. So I use vulva when I would use penis for ds, and mini otherwise (ie please don't show your mini to the world...) and do you want some cream on your vulva (she gets sore quite often). Hopefully that way she will be able to communicate should that be necessary. ds has started calling his willy a dinkle (I think this is from school) and both kids have recently started using the phrase privates (Mummy ds pocked me in the privates...). I think this should be quite understandable. Now we are in the States I wonder what new words they will be using. dh refers to my "flappy bits" which is obviously charming!

We use 'girly bits', which has come in useful when they noticed Mummy's looks different, as have been able to explain them growing into 'lady bits' at some point in the future!

Wot franny said.
I've seen some ridiculous names to be used for them and words that if I were working with children and a child said to me 'blah blah touched my X' I'd think they meant head!

Nothing at all wrong with 'bits' IMO.

DD says vulva or vagina, Ds says penis, but I'll say 'Have you wiped your bits' or similar.

twinkle for my DD's
Willy for my DS's