Advantages of baby brothers please!

[mrsgreedy]

I got some really good advice off here last time so here goes!

I already have a daughter and I am pregnant with twins and recently found out they are both boys. I am very excited to be having a mixed family and of course my husband is delighted to be having sons. But my daughter is not!

She is a very dainty, girly girl and I do wonder how she will cope with a couple of boisterous boys running about! Will her world really be turned upside down?!

Any advice on how I can persuade her brothers will be wonderful will be greatly received!!

They may not be boisterous boys. My ds goes to school with identical twin boys and they walk round the plyground holding hands. They are very gentle souls. My ds is their protector . They are all 5 yo. I have asked dd 7 yo what is good about having a little brother and she can't think of anything .

I have a DS (4) and a DD (2). Sometimes think it would have been nice for DS to have a brother but i sometimes think the sibling rivalry is less intense when they're opposite sex

My Dd casts her baby brother as 'the prince' in her make-believe games

It makes sharing easier, since they don't necessarily covet the same things

Ds is a much gentler and more sensitive soul than dd, so no guarantee that yours will be boisterous.

And it will be years before they will be doing much running around her anyway. By which time she may have outgrown the dainty stage and entered into a more boisterous phase- children's behaviour is not set in stone.

Boys are so cool! And actually I think the eldest can dictate the play a bit - dd is a very girly girl, loves Barbies etc, but she has an elder brother, who likes playing pirates, so she plays that a lot. Similarly, ds2 who is younger than dd plays pirates with ds1, and dolls houses with dd! Ds1 is very full of energy, never stops, is borderline hyperactive I would say, ds2 is very placid, very chilled. Just different characters!

Snap - I have a girly girl who has twin younger brothers. They are now three and two and she largely dictates the play and one of them especially joins in with her and they all take their buggies for walks together, dress their teddies and have tea parties. She also looks on in delight as they cause mess and chaos in a way which would never have occured to her.

At their current ages I don't think having girls as younger siblings would make any difference and may even lead to greater fights over toys.

However, I do feel sad for her when they all get older as I can't really see any advantages to having two younger brother at age 12!

I just asked dd (11) what was the best thing about having a baby brother and she says "It is because he loves ME the most".

It will open up a whole new world for her ..

lego, cars, creepy crawlies....

and in the years to come she will a constant stream of admirers in the form of their friends looking up to her

they prevent girls from becoming wussy little prima donnas who scream the house down because they fell and slightly bumped their knees. no blood, no grazing, but these girlies will scream the entire neighbourhood down. whilst little boys in corner will be stoicly holding onto broken arm because all first aiders are busy with little madame.

actually, that was unintentionally horrible. really dont mean to sound so bitchy.

Thankyou for your replies!

Stitch my daughter isn't a wuss or a drama queen and she certainly isn't a madame!

I think what's not helping is the fact that everyone is so excited when we tell them we are having boys and comment on how wonderful boys are and how lucky we are. I can understand that grating on her

How old is your dd ?

You should get the Tony Ross Little Princess book, I Want a Sister. The LP wants a sister cos girls are best, obviously, so all the characters tell her what's best about boys. Baby turns out to be a boy, of course, which is what the parents wanted because they "already have a little princess".

I had twin brothers and they were absolute horrors, but my mum didn't make an effort to try and keep our lives reasonable normal. I think as long as you give your DD time out on her own and make the boys do things she enjoys and give them all a chance to be individuals you'll find a balance.

I think it's all different when they arrive, TBH. My friend was Pg with a 3YO DD who was adamant that she wanted a little sister, was horrified at the thought it could be a boy.

When little sister arrived however, DD decided that she wanted a boy after all!

What exactly did your mum do wrong Abitconcerned?

I certainly don't want to overdo the twin thing as I imgaine that would make her feel left out regardless of gender

My Mum had PND although it wasn't diagnosed back in those days and basically I felt like i had had a baby at 9 yrs old, we'd walk in from primary school and be handed a baby and a bottle.
That and she utterly ignored my sister and I and then when I stole from the local shop for attention she battered me to within an inch, so I'm pretty confident you're not in the slightest bit like her.
She ended up with 2 boys who were utterly undisciplined and to this day cause her nothing but trouble, but you reep what you sew don't you.

DD is 6 and DS is 13 months. She adores him. She is The Boss and loves teaching him stuff.

Your dd will still be 'the only princess in the family'. That's good right?

I have 2 girls and now a baby boy, and they dote on him, it's a bit worrying, I hope he doesn't expect all females to fawn over him like this!! I guess for her it is good that her role as "your best girl" is safe. And big sisters love to be bossy!! Sometimes I think little boys can take a bit of bossing more cheerfully than little sisters who want to BE the big sister (in our house, anyway!)

DD was like this - she didn't want a brother and it's only now that she is finding him fun (he's nearly 9 months). I'm sure she doesn't think of him specifically as a boy, just as someone else to play with, if that makes sense.

DD (2 years) is enamoured with DS (4 months) She kisses him constantly, wakes up and asks about him, brings him blankets, hats, socks etc. If he cries for more than 5 minutes, she starts to cry.

my DSs wanted a sister but were more than delighted with their baby brother (we didn't know beforehand what sex he was).

I'm sure she'll love them anyway. Why not just not talk about them being boys too much and just concentrate on them being babies?

mrs greedy, i'm hoping to be the opposite to you, I already have the twin boys and hoping for a wee girly this time round - neither of the boys want a girl and believe because they are twins they will get a baby each (they are soooo wrong on that score!)

I believe the lead up to a new baby arriving in a little persons life is a bigger deal that the baby (or babies) actually arriving. Once your DD see's those two wonderous little beings she will be overwhelmed and won't care whether they have dangly bits or not - once they are old enough to be boisterous and run round like loons she will be a good few years older and way more used to them.