difficult baby

[cosmos]

My baby boy is just over four months and if anything is getting less settled.
He only ever sleeps for an hour or two stretch at the most in the daytime as well as still waking for a feed at 12.30am,3am,6.30am at least.When he feeds in the daytime its nearly always followed by a huge posseting session where he throws up a load of cottage cheese looking gunk,and watery yuk which he spits out all over the floor.Yesterday he had three poos so despite this he is digesting it.He also loves to be held,which is lovely but Im wondering when Im going to get a break from him when I can get on with anything,he is so demanding.The only time I get when Im not on constant standby for feeding or entertaining is the evening,if Ive got the energy to stay up that is.Looked forward to this period as easier but now looks like its gonna be a slow route to a bit of sanity...

[jabberwocky]

Poor you! We went through a similar period with ds. I thought I was going to lose my mind. Is the paed OK with his spitting up? DS did what we called the "Mt. Vesuvius" spit-up (Very impressive amount!) but not every feed. He may have some reflux that is causing him to wake up often or be uncomfortable lying down, thus wanting to be held a lot.

If that is not the case, have you tried putting him in a sling during the day? It does free you up a bit to do some things.

[vict17]

Hi Cosmos. Sorry to hear you're find ing things hard. Have you got a play gym, bouncy chair, door bouncer you can put him in/on to give yourself some time to get things done? Or a bumbo chair if he's starting to get fed up of lying down all the time?

[aloha]

It won't last. I know that's hard to believe when you are in the middle of it, but babyhood flies by and before you know it you have a little boy on your hands. My ds was also a fiend for not sleeping and wanting to be held, and tbh the more I fought it the worse it was. It really was better to give in as much as possible, use a sling if your back can take it, sit holding the baby when you watch tv, visit friends, use the phone etc and keep reminding yourself that it will end!

[Frizbe]

When do you do your last evening feed? have you tried feeding him at about 10pm then seeing how long he goes thru for? does he posset after all his daytime feeds? (my friends ds did...grew out of it eventually) re the being held, sometimes you just have to get them used to being put down (call me cruel) but it benifits you in the long run, as they need to realise (shock horror) that they are independant of you (it gets worse when they can crawl/walk and realise this, my dd went thru a phase of howling whenever I popped out of her sight, insists on following to loo etc!) If you really can't bear putting ds down and hearing him cry, invest in a baby sling, then he can come with you!

[aloha]

It won't last. I know that's hard to believe when you are in the middle of it, but babyhood flies by and before you know it you have a little boy on your hands. My ds was also a fiend for not sleeping and wanting to be held, and tbh the more I fought it the worse it was. It really was better to give in as much as possible, use a sling if your back can take it, sit holding the baby when you watch tv, visit friends, use the phone etc and keep reminding yourself that it will end!

[cosmos]

thanks everyone.Yes he does posset after nearly every feed,apart from at night when he feeds peacefully.Hes also better when hes had a mammoth one hour feed which is not that uncommon.He always has a feed about 9.30 in the evening then falls straight to sleep but is awake again thru the night.
left the room for 20 minutes just now,heard him cry,fed him,and now hes had another major puke down his sleeve,needs changing yet again.Think Ill get this possetting checked out at the paed as it does seem exessive.

[fostermum]

hi cosmos youngest grandson was exactly the same as your little one and has been found to be lactos intollerent,so is on lactos free milk,problem solved with him in hours of change of milk

[Frizbe]

When had you last fed him before the 20min feed?

[cosmos]

Hi Frizbe,I had fed him within that hour.Fostermum,Im breastfeeding so does lactose free milk apply?!!
So far today hes been easy company,woke up at 6.30,had a feed,not too mucky,then one 15 minutes ago and hardly anything came up.Its his strange trait(or all babies)to get me into a panic and then dispense with the problem all together.Had this with his bellybutton hernia which our local doctor(I live in Brittany)said must be operated on,to my horror,and is now nonexistent.
Then again hes crying again...

[LIZS]

Might be worth monitoring your diet to see if he is worse when you eat more dairy or something else. It may be a mild reflux, in which case keeping him upright and still-ish for about 1/2 hr after a feed may help, but it sounds as if he is thriving so perhaps he just likes to eat and empties what isn't required. As he is so young the valve at the top of his tummy may still be immature enough for this to happen readily. Are you sure that he is actually hungry when he cries, could he just be looking for comfort or stimulation instead.

[pinkmama]

Hi cosmos, sorry its tough. Just wanted to say my ds was unsettled and had to be held all the time, would sleep for very short periods. He alwasy threw back up. On recommendation, I took him to a cranial osteopath, and it turned out he had something wrong with his neck (from his birth) and it was sorted in 3 sessions. Now, there are so many things it could be, I know this may not help you, but just wanted to share it as a possibility. WIsh we had taken dd now as she was a terribly unsettled baby and had a difficult birth. Will be taking this next one as soon as its born! I am not hugely into alternative therapies, but swear by osteo. Cranial is so gentle, you can hardly see them do anything, so doesn't hurt.
Hope you find a solution soon.

[fostermum]

could be if your eating dairy,keep a log of your diet have you tried cool fennel tea before feeding stops trapped wind,which makes a lot of milk come back when feed and constant crying

[cosmos]

thanks for your replies.LIZS that sounds like a good idea about holding him upright after a feed for a while.Only thing is hes fine feeding at night lying down as far as posseting goes so why not in the daytime?Ill also try and get some fennel tea and see if that works.As for the dairy,I do have cheese and milk everyday and could try cutting that down,difficult in the land of cheese!
Yesterday evening was terrible,gave up on the day by 8.30pm,took him to bed only to recieve more cries.Finally he fell asleep only to be woken up by dp coming in to tell me something unimportant almost instantly,then more cries till he suddenly cheered up and giggled himself to sleep.He giggles in his sleep too,the crazy child.Sunday is always for some reason his most unsettled day of the week(and thats going some) until today,think hes worn out from yesterday as Ive just had an hour to myself,bliss.

[Frizbe]

Hi Cosmos, glad to see you got a bit of a rest! I think there's lots of great advice here, sorry I didn't reply yesterday as dd is ill....(poor mite) was wondering, but I think Lizs covered it really...you said you'd fed him within the hour, and then he cried, so you fed again, and then he barf'd...he's being crafty and is not hungry at all! as he's just fed! (my dd used to do this, but was clocked early on by mw n hv when I complained of how long she was on/off boob for!) I take it you do the usual mega winding, to get all of that up?
Have you try'd keeping a diary of feedtimes, winding, sleeping etc to establish a pattern?
if you can try to do this for a few days, it may be you can pinpoint (or mumsnetters can help!) the problem?

[cosmos]

Hi Frizbe,hope dd is feeling better.Last time(about a month ago)I tried keeping a log of his feeding I seem to remember a day when he fed 18 times from morning till evening,think I threw the pen out the window.
Hes been feeding realy happily today,and no cottage cheese puke.Just some milk coming up/out again.Ive had some dairy food today so dont think that was the problem.Hes just been calmer than he has been for a while,hopefully its a trend.Hes always causing concern and then averting it at last minute,did it in the womb,at birth,always!Even one of the midwives said hes a funny fella.But Ill be monitoring the situation next week as to why/when he feeds with or without gunky bits.

[Clayhead]

Have to agree with aloha (again, not stalking, honest!!). My dd was an awful baby and, the more I fought it, the worse it got. I used a sling, things improved, I resigned myself to holding her and began to enjoy it (she never slept in the evenings either...). She is now the easiest (touch wood) 3 year old and an absolute joy to be with.

With ds (16 months) I never listened to anyone telling me to put him down and not spoil him (used to get this constantly with dd) and just held him or had him in the sling from day 1, making us both far happier. He also had his sister to watch and would often be entertained by watching her and her friends.

Neither dd or ds would sleep for more than about 45 minutes in the day, just the way they were.

So...I know how awful it is to have a demanding baby (everyone else's seems to sit contentedly in their car seat, gurgling...) but, to echo aloha, it does end!

[Amanda3266]

Hi cosmos,

My DS was exactly the same as a baby - fed well in the daytime but brought up loads of cottage cheese afterwards. Didn't usually do the same at night but woke for feeding three to four times. He was also one for wanting to be held all the time and like you I wondered if it'd ever be any different.
Firstly, has he always posseted like this - it could be reflux as others have said (which is what my DS was diagnosed with in the end). This can be treated with Gaviscon (infant). It worked well for my DS anyway. Often babies with reflux lose weight but not always - my DS was a hefty 9lb 6oz at birth and just continued to thrive.
Secondly, it doesn't last forever, my DS improved dramatically on weaning - not straight away but within a few weeks. I don't know what milk your DS is on but I found a dramatic improvement on changing from C+G to Farley's which apparently has less lactose in it. Not saying that this will work for you but just something else to consider. I know that on weaning and changing the milk my DS almost immedietly dropped his night feeds from 3-4 feeds to 1 feed and then within two or three weeks to no feeds at night.
Can't believe he sounds so like my one (who is now just 2).

HTH and makes you feel not so alone

Mandy

[Amanda3266]

Hi cosmos,

Just to add that my DS was fine at night and hardly ever puked then either. Frustrating isn't it. I used to look at DS and think - "Why can't you do this during the day"?

[dinny]

Hi Cosmos, my ds also 4 months and sounds similare - ie. loves being held/feeds all day and all night and only naps for 30 mins in day. Sounds like your ds is just being a normal young baby Life will become more manageable...though ds is much easier than his big sister (2.5)
Don't know anything about the posseting - only that it's much harder to feed ds in day than at night (much more distracted). Good luck

[morningpaper]

I agree with aloha - and clayhead seems to have had MY daughter! Lots of people will tell you to 'teach her to be by herself' but that WILL come with time.

I always found that playgroups would allow me a bit of a break because she was distracted by other children. Otherwise when it was just the two of us it always had to be one-on-one. Have you tried a door-swing btw? My dd loved this for between 5-20 minutes at a time (as long as she could see me of course) and it enabled me to cook and wash up a bit more easily.

If she is secure in her dependence she will grow to be secure in her independence (or something cheesy like that I heard recently).

She is now just over 2 and happy to play by herself for an hour or more - and I never taught her to do this by putting her by herself!

[cosmos]

Thanks everyone for your reassurance.Amanda,next youll be telling me yours is a virgo too,I know that virgos are renowned for their delicate digestive systems so mabye thats part of the problem.Could make an interesting study,star signs and feeding techniques for babies!Ill try the gaviscon,and yes he has always tended to bring up lots of gunk.Whats getting much better is his night feeds.The bed used to get soaked,sheets,duvet,everything,hed be found lying in a puddle with a wet head on waking,and this was after winding galore and clearup.He still wakes up three or four times for a feed but its spookily unmessy,and nothing Ive done has changed.Its just the dayfeeds(just!)that we need to work on.The other thing is he likes to do a bit of everything,sleep,feed,play,go out,but nothing for too long which makes the day frantic for me.As you say Dinny,guess this is normal baby behavoir though,good to know theres others out there like him.