We have a 4 week old baby and the last few weeks have been rough. Dd is a poor sleeper and cries a lot. I have 2 dc from a previous relationship. DH has no other kids.
I know DH is struggling. He can't seem to settle her as well as I can (maybe she senses his anxiety or maybe she's just more used to being with me) and everytime she cries with him he takes it as a personal failure. He helps a lot with practical things - housework, making bottles and so on - but he's doing less hands on stuff with baby because he presumes he's failing.
I have tried to reassure him countless times and told him that all babies cry and the first few months are notoriously hard but it will pass. But now I'm starting to feel fed up as his low mood is impacting on me too. I feel as if he regrets having dd and misses life before. It makes me feel vulnerable like he'd prefer to be away from us. I am knackered, hormonal, recovering from a traumatic birth and looking after a very demanding newborn so the last thing I need is to be constantly reassuring him too but because I'm the one with experience I guess I've taken the lead.
What can I say to make him understand this is all normal and temporary and no reflection on him? Aibu to be getting frustrated with it?
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Parenting
DH not coping :(
motherofsavages34 · 17/05/2022 21:45
GiltEdges · 17/05/2022 22:36
Honestly, I just wouldn't be pandering to this, you've got enough on your plate as it is. He needs to buck his ideas up and do more. The more familiar your DD becomes with him holding her, talking to her and generally spending time with her, the less inclined she'll be to cry.
Also just wanted to add, at 4 weeks you don't have a "bad sleeper". You have a baby... who sleeps just like a 4 week old baby.
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