11 month old son won’t sleep

[Lollipop111]

Please help my 11 month old hardly sleeps he can go all day without sleeping he will eventually drop but then will wake up and will then be awake till gone 10pm sometimes 11 he also wakes up through the night about 3 times it’s really tiring he has so much energy and so excitable I have tried routines but he just screams for hours on end he won’t lay in his cot and sleep when I put him down awake or sleepy I’m all out of ideas now

[Lollipop111]

Hello everyone quick update tonight I noticed my little one was more tired than usual after having two naps I’m feeling very hopeful he’s had a bottle a little play and I gave him some teething meds only because his teething and they seem to be bothering him. He crawled over to me with his dummy and blanket sat on my lap and closed his eyes he’s never done that befor!!! I’ve put him down in his cot let’s hope tonight is a better night.
I can handle getting up through the night but when I’m doing that along side going to bed extremely late takes it’s toll on the tiredness so I’m going to grab an early night and hope he doesn’t wake me up in half hour thinking it’s play time. :))

[ThornAmongstRoses]

When my first son was 10 months old I had to enlist the help of a Sleep Consultant because of how dire things were. Life was dark, I was unhappy and I felt clueless as to how to make things better.

Anyway - she was wonderful in lots of ways, but in relation to the theme that keeps cropping up, I was advised that my son needed two naps a day, each 1.5 hours long (very specific I know).

He used to wake up at 6am and would have his first nap from 9.30am until 11.00am, and then his second nap from 1.30pm until 3pm.

He would then go to bed at 7pm.

[lambo88]

Hi Hun try and follow a guide like this and have u tried white noise...it doesn't matter where they nap eg car seat or pram as long as they get the correct naps during the day they won't get over tired and follow nap gaps so they can't go to bed to late xxx

[theantsgomarchin]

@3rdtimelucky2019 Glad it's been of some use!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

So glad he's napped for you. I'd trying doing the same things that you've done today for x few days so that he gets used to the new routine

[theantsgomarchin]

Best of luck tonight @Lollipop111

If you haven't done so already, you need to be putting him down in his cot in a dark room so he gets used to sleeping in that environment. He is too young to be scared of the dark so night lights and dim lights are not necessary, and are not the optimum environment for sleep. At 11m he is old enough to be in a cot or a crib in a room by himself, with you in a separate room watching / listening on a monitor.

I think you've been very open to advice which is great. There's nothing more annoying than people who start threads looking for advice then refuse to take any of the suggestions people post.

[Lollipop111]

@theantsgomarchin thank you for your advice today he has had to naps I took him out in the pram first time and he dropped of I let him sleep for 1 hour the second time I had to get in the car And he dropped of then this was for half an hour and I must admit he seems a lot more tired now he’s had his dinner and a bath and is all ready for bed I have dimmed all lights so fingers crossed he will sleep a little better and go to bed a a more reasonable time tonight.
I haven’t once claimed that he just doesn’t sleep I was just saying I struggle with it I haven’t found a routine that works for him yet hence why I came on here for some advice to try new things I’m very great full for everything given and I will take it on board and take each day as it comes with trying new ways to help him learn to sleep

[3rdtimelucky2019]

@theantsgomarchin

OP - there's no two ways about it. Your child is severely overtired.

No offence intended but I urge you not to take the advice from *@PucePanther below because it really isn't necessary. EVERY HUMAN NEEDS SLEEP. Especially babies. I've worked with children for a very very long time and I am yet to meet a single child that doesn't need* day sleep at 11 months. Are there children that fight it more than others? Categorically less. But do they all need it regardless? Categorically yes.

I'm not sure if you knew but humans aren't born with the ability to fall asleep themselves. This is something we must all learn, in a similar way that we learn to walk and talk, it's through practice that we learn how to fall asleep and stay asleep by ourselves. A great deal of this depends on our parents and the tools they give us to enable us to learn to fall asleep. Some parents choose to leave this until their children are older and thus understand the concept of "going to sleep". It's not that they just suddenly "got it" when they got older, it's that by the time they learn to fall asleep unaided and stay asleep, they're old enough to understand what that means. They're old enough to understand that it's bedtime. At 11m your child isn't enough enough to understand that concept so it's down to you to encourage them to learn how to sleep, ideally without you.

A HUGE part of this will be a routine because that's the way young children start to understand. Your baby knows that being put in his high chair means it's time to eat, because that's what you've taught him through repetition and routine. Not every parent is a fan of a routine, and that's ok because some parents are happy to let their child do things the way they want to, sleep when they want etc and it works for them and their family. Clearly, this isn't working for you.

At 11m most children have two naps. One longer morning nap, and a top up nap in the afternoon, around 2-3 hours day sleep is needed at that age. As baby gets older they will naturally start fighting the second nap, at which point you can move the morning nap later and later until it's in the middle of the day.

Inevitably there will be a degree of sleep training involved, it's unavoidable. But before the co-sleeping army get in my face, this doesn't need to involve crying. There are some excellent stay and support type methods by sleep experts like Lucy Woolfe that do not involve any crying, but they help your baby learn how to fall asleep and stay asleep.

If there's one thing you take away from this thread, it's that your baby CATEGORICALLY needs day sleep, he just fights it because it's unfamiliar and he's so dog tired by now that it makes it so so much harder to fall asleep. Look into Lucy woolfe but your first step is to definitely fix the day sleep, night sleep will follow once your naps are sorted.

For context, my 19m old son sleeps 7pm-7:30am. He often wakes later but id say that's average. He goes down for a nap at 12:30 and I wake him at 3pm. He was breastfed and slept from 7-7 from 4 months with an 11pm feed until he was 6 months. We have never left him to cry as a form of sleep training.

My sisters have 5 children between them. All of them followed the same routine and have all slept very much the same with varying nap / wakeup times over the years but broadly similar. It annoys me when mothers claim their children "just don't sleep"'when the reality is that they've never allowed them the opportunity to learn.

Some of the most sensible sleep advice I've ever read on here. I'll be bookmarking it for friends

[theantsgomarchin]

OP - there's no two ways about it. Your child is severely overtired.

No offence intended but I urge you not to take the advice from @PucePanther below because it really isn't necessary. EVERY HUMAN NEEDS SLEEP. Especially babies. I've worked with children for a very very long time and I am yet to meet a single child that doesn't need day sleep at 11 months. Are there children that fight it more than others? Categorically less. But do they all need it regardless? Categorically yes.

I'm not sure if you knew but humans aren't born with the ability to fall asleep themselves. This is something we must all learn, in a similar way that we learn to walk and talk, it's through practice that we learn how to fall asleep and stay asleep by ourselves. A great deal of this depends on our parents and the tools they give us to enable us to learn to fall asleep. Some parents choose to leave this until their children are older and thus understand the concept of "going to sleep". It's not that they just suddenly "got it" when they got older, it's that by the time they learn to fall asleep unaided and stay asleep, they're old enough to understand what that means. They're old enough to understand that it's bedtime. At 11m your child isn't enough enough to understand that concept so it's down to you to encourage them to learn how to sleep, ideally without you.

A HUGE part of this will be a routine because that's the way young children start to understand. Your baby knows that being put in his high chair means it's time to eat, because that's what you've taught him through repetition and routine. Not every parent is a fan of a routine, and that's ok because some parents are happy to let their child do things the way they want to, sleep when they want etc and it works for them and their family. Clearly, this isn't working for you.

At 11m most children have two naps. One longer morning nap, and a top up nap in the afternoon, around 2-3 hours day sleep is needed at that age. As baby gets older they will naturally start fighting the second nap, at which point you can move the morning nap later and later until it's in the middle of the day.

Inevitably there will be a degree of sleep training involved, it's unavoidable. But before the co-sleeping army get in my face, this doesn't need to involve crying. There are some excellent stay and support type methods by sleep experts like Lucy Woolfe that do not involve any crying, but they help your baby learn how to fall asleep and stay asleep.

If there's one thing you take away from this thread, it's that your baby CATEGORICALLY needs day sleep, he just fights it because it's unfamiliar and he's so dog tired by now that it makes it so so much harder to fall asleep. Look into Lucy woolfe but your first step is to definitely fix the day sleep, night sleep will follow once your naps are sorted.

For context, my 19m old son sleeps 7pm-7:30am. He often wakes later but id say that's average. He goes down for a nap at 12:30 and I wake him at 3pm. He was breastfed and slept from 7-7 from 4 months with an 11pm feed until he was 6 months. We have never left him to cry as a form of sleep training.

My sisters have 5 children between them. All of them followed the same routine and have all slept very much the same with varying nap / wakeup times over the years but broadly similar. It annoys me when mothers claim their children "just don't sleep"'when the reality is that they've never allowed them the opportunity to learn.

[PucePanther]

Some kids just don’t sleep. Mine has never had an afternoon nap unless I got in bed with him. And a 6.30pm bedtime was out of the question because he’d wake up during the night when I wanted to sleep. Some nights he goes to sleep about 9pm, last night it was 1am. My honest advice? Give up all hope of having any time to yourself and just roll with it, because fighting it just makes you tired and angry.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

How are you getting on so far today @Lollipop111?

[3rdtimelucky2019]

@Lollipop111

Please help my 11 month old hardly sleeps he can go all day without sleeping he will eventually drop but then will wake up and will then be awake till gone 10pm sometimes 11 he also wakes up through the night about 3 times it’s really tiring he has so much energy and so excitable I have tried routines but he just screams for hours on end he won’t lay in his cot and sleep when I put him down awake or sleepy I’m all out of ideas now

My son is the same age and I'm not perfect but all I will say is good sleep for him depends on decent routine in the day.

My routine isn't perfect, however it works for him. I know he's tired when he gets really whiney.

For the first sleep, he sleeps in the cot. He's fed to sleep with a bottle

So he will wake at 6. Nap at 9 (fed to sleep) sleeps for 90 mins - 2 hours

Lunch about 11.30. always try and get him out after this, lots of fresh air and a change of scenery. Doesn't have to be amazing, even just a walk.

Home. Play.

Second sleep will probably be around 2.30/3. He will resist this nap at all costs. I'll always give a bottle and see if that makes him drop off. If not, back in the pram for a walk where he will drop off or last ditch attempt, car nap. 45 mins - hour.

So at this point he's awake around 3.30. quick snack. Dinner around 5. Bath and bottle at 6. Book about 6. Asleep by 7. Any later than that and we get dramatic screaming.

Normally sleeps through 50% of the time, if not a wake up at 1am or 3am.

If they haven't got a nap routine you're going to have to teach them to do it. It'll transform everything

[SpamIAm]

I wouldn't consider not drugging your kids to sleep (which medicine not even licensed for babies at that) to be 'perfect parenting', just the bare minimum really.

OP, if you can get those day naps sorted (in the car initially if need be) then night time sleep should improve massively. Might be worth giving calpol or nurofen before bed while he's teething as well - sometimes I think they cope okay while they're busy but it can bother them more when they're trying to sleep and there are no other distractions. And please don't feel silly! We're all just learning as we go.

[SpillingTheTea]

@spidermomma

Well to all the perfect parents I Only used it with dd many years ago I know a few people who have. 2 nights max. Guess some people won't admit to it though!

And also my hv suggested the cows milk everyone. All been fine with it !!! 🤪

#mumsnethaters

My kids all go bed at 7 and sleep through. Have from 6 months. Clearly doing something okay

It's not about being a perfect parent or #mumsnethater ? #growup.

You're acting as if it's normal to drug your child and it be okay... no one will admit it to it because no one isn their right mind does it. 1 night, 2 night, I don't care that's bloody shameful and neglectful.

Wow, your kids go to bed at 7. Well done you! Doesn't make up for the fact you drugged your child. Bad parenting at its finest.

[spidermomma]

Well to all the perfect parents I Only used it with dd many years ago I know a few people who have. 2 nights max. Guess some people won't admit to it though!

And also my hv suggested the cows milk everyone. All been fine with it !!! 🤪

#mumsnethaters

My kids all go bed at 7 and sleep through. Have from 6 months. Clearly doing something okay

[KatieKat88]

Yep sounds like not enough day sleep so massively overtired and so he's treating that first stretch at night as an extra nap. I second using the Huckleberry app, give that a go for wake windows for a couple of days and see what happens. Mine is 12 months definitely needs two naps still so don't rush to drop to one necessarily.

[Disappointedkoala]

I think if you can get a nap routine sorted you should see an improvement in the night time sleep - he does sound very overtired. My DD had an early nap at about 8.30 (used to wake about 6.30 then milk & breakfast straight away) and then another nap at lunchtime. She went to one nap at 11ish at about 13/14 months. Any wakes between 7-6am treated as nighttime so stayed upstairs and in the dark and quiet, she did end up in bed with me a lot because it was the only thing that worked but we did a bit of sleep training and got that resolved. As PP have said fresh air every day is good idea and I'd try and do something active as well even if that's just crawling over the sofa cushions for half an hour!

[Lisa78Lemon]

I'm glad you wrote this thread as I was beginning to feel like my 12 month old was the only one who hadn't sorted his sleep out yet!
He hates napping and generally only has one a day but fights it. Today he screamed so much he vomited when I tried to put him down (I wasn't doing 'cry it out', I was holding him but he got worked up). We resorted to the car and it still took him 30 minutes to get to sleep.
Night times he sleeps well from 7pm to 11pm but can then wake 4 or 5 times and gets up between 7am and 8am. I think it doesn't help he has allergies/eczema/reflux so can be quite itchy/ uncomfortable.
OP, you say you turn the lights and TV off when he wakes at 9pm? Is he in the living room with you?
I try to be as boring as possible during night wakes- dark quiet room, whisper, pat bum, ssh noises but no real engagement.
Let's hope this gets easier!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Obviously only do the ibruprofen whist he's teething

[SpillingTheTea]

@spidermomma

My youngest is now 10mo. He's gone to bed on his own with a bottle and left at 7 every night religiously and he sleeps right through until 9am ish most days

He has a nap in the day once iv done the dinner time school run we have a stroll in the pram and he's gone for about 45 mins

Is your ds on food and proper milk now? I always found with my first he was a lot longer until he slept through as I stuck to the book an kept him on baby milk until 18months. Dd she was weaned fully by 6months and milk changes to normal, same with new baby ! Dd I did get advised to change her early as she was superrrr bad with colic and reflux was always in hospital BUT this worked an she goes to bed at 7 to on her own an she's gone for the night unless she needs a wee !

I do however dream feed youngest about 10/11 o'clock just to fill him that little bit more

Also got a tip (I did do this) of cough medicine before the bed time you went for a few days. It has stuff in to help them sleep to get them in that routine then don't need do it again ! Xx

Please tell me you're joking?

[LongWinterNights]

Hope things are going well OP - please ignore the really dangerous “advice” from @spidermomma up above - please do not use cough syrups in an effort to make baby drowsy, they are aimed at much older children/adults and could potentially be fatal. Changing onto cows milk as babys main drink is not advised until 1 as they can have difficulty digesting the proteins in the milk.

I also have a crazy sleeper and the only way to get her to nap is to feed her a big lunch then take her for a drive in the car with the aircon/heating on to act as white noise!

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

If he is teething, I'd try a teething gel like Dentinox before any of his daytime milk/solids and a dose of ibruprofen about 11.30 so that he's pain free for his nap.

[Lollipop111]

He is teething but he’s managed them quiet well he’s not a crying baby only when I’m trying to get him asleep generally tho he’s quiet happy just full of energy

[EllyNC]

My ds at 11months was awake between 6-7, first nap about 9 till 9:20/9:30, then another nap at 1ish for usually 1-2 hours! He’d then go down to bed for about 7.
Try getting the huckleberry app and tracking his naps for a few weeks if feasible, it’s very good at helping with wake/sleep windows!!

[Katiec89]

Have you tried using the huckleberry
App? It tells you roughly when the next nap is due based on the babies age! Its been a life saver for me!