Postnatal depression and formula feeding

[Atticus500]

I’ve been doing a lot of research and it seems many women with PPD felt better when switching from breast to formula. I’m desperate to be proactive and start doing things to help myself and another mum who was at a similarly low point suggested the pill, a higher dose of ADs and formula was the answer for her. I’ve already identified these as possibly helpful so wondered if anyone else had found their depression lifted a little when stopping breastfeeding?

[user1493413286]

I found it helped to stop; i’d started hating feeding and not enjoying my baby so by stopping I could enjoy cuddles with him which helped bonding. It also meant others could help more so I could sleep a bit more

[crazychemist]

How do YOU feel about breastfeeding? Why does your DH want you to stop? If he thinks your baby will magically sleep through the night if they have a bottle, he’s likely to be surprised.... if he’s suggesting it so that he can help with night feeds that’s more reasonable.

Personally, I liked breastfeeding my DD and it made me feel close to her. Night feeds were more convenient as it just meant rolling over (once she’d got the hang of feeding lying down) rather than faffing with bottles/sterilisers. But she never had tongue tie, I only ever got one blocked duct etc. So I stuck with it because it was working for us. I’m expecting twins now. I’d like to breastfeed, but I’m not going to feel guilty if it doesn’t work out!

If (as I Hope) your DH is trying to take some pressure off you during a difficult time, perhaps try mixed feeding? So he could give a bottle at night so you could get an unbroken stretch of sleep, or on a Saturday afternoon so you can get out of the house for a coffee (or whatever you’d like to do with some precious alone time!). I was lucky that expressing worked very well for me (I have friends who get virtually nothing by pump so use formula instead), and it gave my DH (and my DMum) a chance to bond with my DD and me a chance to have a walk/long bath/anything other than hold DD!

I’m not sure stopping breastfeeding would help with PND unless you are having trouble with breastfeeding. If you’re having trouble with it, by all means switch to combination feeding or formula feeding. The most important thing is that you are as happy and settled as possible. But I’d be surprised if it has a magic effect if feeding is not a problem

[Twizbe]

I had PND with my second. For me breastfeeding was really important as it gave me more freedom with juggling two kids.

My PND really stemed from gender disappointment and some issues from my eldest. He was very skinny as a baby and we had loads of weight issues. I pushed those feelings super far down and they came back up when I had a baby that fed beautifully and was massive.

I personally don't think how you feed is the main cause or remedy for PND. It's so individual to each woman and can be caused by all sorts of things. For some women breastfeeding will help, for some it really won't.

At 12 weeks you're about to get a bit of a break as the newborn fog starts to lift. I found with both mine around 12-16 weeks things started to get so much better. They were in more of a routine, my confidence had grown, my son had his diagnosis, feeding was more regular, the weather was better (winter babies both of them)

The only advice I'll give, is don't stop on a bad day. From my experience the women who regret stopping did so when at rock bottom. If you stop on a good feeding day then you know it's the right choice

[peasoup8]

i could reassure myself that i was giving her the absolute best she could have

Breastfeeding is just one of a number of elements that add up to giving your child the "absolute best". There are no doubt plenty of FF babies out there who are happier, thriving and more content than their BF counterparts. BF isn't the be all and end all it's made out to be by some people on parenting forums.

[Anewmum2018]

For me, breastfeeding utterly terrified me. I was terrified of having to keep my baby alive all by myself, when I felt barely alive after an emergency c section and very rapidly declining mental health. I remember feeling absolute panic that he would be literally dependent on me, and I knew that I wasn't up to the job.

So i switched to formula quite quickly, out of sheer fear that my son wouldnt take a bottle after a certain point. I think NCT had really scared me into thinking that you basically had to breastfeed and not introduce a bottle - to the point where I thought, well, it's one or the other.

What i would tell myself now is that it doesn't need to be one or the other - lots of babies are combination fed, and happily take the bottle and nipple. So maybe that's something to consider, doing a bit of both? it might help you get more sleep, and more time to yourself, but equally, it might help your hormones settle more slowly, and still have the bonding benefits of breastfeeding.

A last point though - feeding feels so important in the early days, and i guess it is, because it's all you're doing really. I felt like if i couldnt breastfeed my baby, then there wasn't really any need for me as a mother. That's classic PND chat right there. Things couldnt be further from the truth obviously, and now my son is nearly 2, I see how little it matters how he was fed, and how much he needs me for reasons unrelated to my tits! Good luck xxx

[CaramelWaferAndTea]

Hi OP. I stopped at 5.5 months but kept thinking about stopping and it was definitely transformative to my mental health - I didn’t hate breastfeeding, I found it easy really, but the lack of sleep and total dependency was exhausting. I mixed fed a little from birth so this was with husband taking baby with bottle once every few days. I have a history of previous anxiety and depression (mild).

If you want to stop, do. And don’t feel guilty. The benefits of breastfeeding are recurrently overstated and do not come first in comparison to your mental health. If you’re feeling bad at all recommend www.google.co.uk/amp/s/fivethirtyeight.com/features/everybody-calm-down-about-breastfeeding/amp/

[meow1989]

I am a big advocate of breastfeeding and expected to do so for 6-12 months, ds fed beautifully, if incessantly!, and gained his 9% day 5 loss by day 10 even with a tongue tie.

I however got mastitis twice, once requiring iv antibiotics, and was feeding constantly 8pm to 4am plus very regular daytime feeds (I know cluster feeding is normal for newborns) Throw in a bereavement for good measure.

So I made the decision to formula feed from 2 weeks and i honestly think if I hadn't it would have affected my bond with ds and I would have ended up with pnd. Yes I feelg uilty but the older ds gets the less of an issue it seems.

[DianasLasso]

Not being able to breastfeed properly (PCOS and low milk yield, combined with tongue tie) was a big part of my PND, I think. I switched to formula, and while for me the guilt of doing so added to the load (even though I could see it was the only thing to do because DS was genuinely not growing properly), I did find that my brain felt like it was "coming back on line". BF hormones seemed to induce a state a bit like menopausal brain fog in me; this literally lifted over the course of about 2 days as I stopped.

So yes, I can well believe that for some women, BF hormones may have a detrimental effect on depression (just as for other women, the same hormones put them in a very happy place).

[Lalapurple]

I think BF is easier than formula feeding in many ways if you get the hang of it (no bottles to remember, you don't run out).

I think you should do what your instinct tells you to do- not your DH or anyone else. Stopping breastfeeding won't help you if you do it because other people have suggested you should.

It might be worth thinking if there is anything else you can do. What support do you have day to day? Can your DH do more (household chores, taking baby for walk so you can get a break etc, changing nappies)?

[CallItLoneliness]

You could try mixed feeding? It doesn't have to be one or the other, and introducing a bottle or two a day will probably help you feel less trapped, and allow you to try before you buy on the FF front.

Out of curiosity, why is your DH so keen for you to stop BF?

[Blak]

I was diagnosed with PND too and I found breastfeeding wasn’t letting me be able to get a Bitcoin of normality into my life. So I introduced a bottle and I’ve been expressing milk. I now combination feed until I make the complete decision to stop BF and I feel so much better within myself. I can actually start doing a few bits to make me feel normal again. My baby is fed the breast throughout the day (mostly) has an expressed bottle for bedtime and then formula throughout the night but of course you could mix it up a bit to whatever suits you best.

[BertieBotts]

It sounds like it would be beneficial for you to stop.

It can give you a bit of a hormonal dip when you stop so be prepared for that but that's short term and the other benefits may outweigh it anyway.

It's only associated with making PND worse in the case that the mum feels upset about not being able to BF as long as she had planned/wanted to or associates it with feelings of personal failure.

[Sipperskipper]

I felt like a different person when I stopped bf DD 1 at 6 weeks. I wish I hadn't pushed on for those weeks, as I feel I ruined her early days. I didn't enjoy any of it and was utterly miserable. She was far more content when we switched too.

Have just had dd2 and have not attempted bf this time. Am so much happier.

[Fatted]

I didn't BF my kids at all and still ended up with bad PND after my first child. I was like you though, I had issues with depression and anxiety, and OCD type behaviours before having kids. I also had Satan's screaming baby from hell who cried pretty much every day constantly for 12 weeks.

I do not think it will magically fix everything, but it does make it easier to let someone else have the baby for a while and get five minutes peace to yourself.

[Sayitagainwhydontyou]

If you don't enjoy it, stop. Ignore your husband, they're not his boobs, and go with your gut.

[RainbowFlowers]

If you're worried about not bonding with your baby when formula feeding there are plenty of things you can do instead. Lots of skin to skin. Cuddles and having a bath with baby. Baby massage. Singing to baby.

[Atticus500]

She’s 13 weeks. My husband is really keen for me to switch to ff and I don’t enjoy breastfeeding, it’s just that it seems “easier” in a way? But I also accept I’m at rock bottom and need to do something proactive to try and feel a little better.

[Lalapurple]

How old is your baby? If just a few weeks, it might settle down as the first few weeks of breastfeeding are very intense- after about 6 weeks it feels a bit more normal.
However I think it is really individual- personally I think I could never have coped with sterilising bottles etc and switching would have made everything worse for me.

Combination feeding might also be an option? You don't have to only do one or the other.

[Letsallscreamatthesistene]

I felt very trapped by BF. I have been diagnosed with PN Anxiety for which im getting CBT for. FF just meant I could reclaim my body a bit and share the load with my husband whilst I had some 'me' time. Its actually been invaluable.

[Atticus500]

Thanks all for responding. For what it’s worth I feel very trapped by breastfeeding and long to feel like me again, as well as a history of eating disorders, depression and issues around control. I think breastfeeding is contributing to my depression but I’m anxious about switching in case it makes things worse? Anyone feel like me and found ff beneficial?

[Letsallscreamatthesistene]

I 100% felt better for stopping BF.

Its so, so personal though. For example, I read posts about feeling guilty/a failure/asking how to get over not BF and I just cannot relate at all.

[Dogsgowoofwoof]

I felt worse for not bf. Having to switch to formula made my mental health decline.

[surreygirl1987]

It's not the same for everyone. I did feel better after switching to formula because I suddenly felt 'free'... however, I felt like a failure as a mum for most of the early mo the and might have moreso if it wasn't for the fact I breastfed. Breastfeeding was literally the one thing I felt I gave my baby. So it also depends maybe at what point... I switched at 7 months.

[bravefox]

Yep absolutely. Horrible mastitis, not producing enough milk = angry jaundiced baby, neither lactation consultant nor any of the staff in neonatal were able to help.

Eventually switched to formula (against MW advice) and it was like night and day - happy, fully fed baby, no more horrible pain and DH able to help with night feeds = finally some sleep! Only regret was pushing through the weeks of utter misery before making the change.

[FunnysInLaJardin]

I stopped BF as it was certainly detrimental to my mental health, I felt much better when I switched the DC to formula