Made to feel guilty because sometimes daddy does the school runs!

[JKCR2017]

So.. I am a stay at home Mum to my DC and I do the school runs whilst OH works but often because of his hours he will do the school run whilst he’s home and I will stay at here at home - the school is a 5-10 minute walk away. Truthfully, I love it and look forward to when OH does the school run. I suffer from anxiety and sometimes the schools runs get me down. Particularly because DS has special needs and other parents don’t really understand... and his behaviour on the school run can be unpredictable.

Anyway, didn’t think much of it. But my Mother and Mother in law disapprove of this claiming it’s the women’s job or at very least we should both go.. surely this is an old fashioned view to have? My Oh likes being able to do this and enjoys it. He’s great and doesn’t give a c**p what other people think unlike me..

It’s not like I avoid the school run altogether. I do it at least three times a week!

[Buglife]

I’ve become a SAHM but I ask my DH to do the school run sometimes when he’s working from home, I want him to be involved as otherwise I’ll be the only parent who ‘does school’ and when I go back to work that’ll be a pain. Also it’s nice for him to know some of the parents by sight at least!

[Pollaidh]

Bollocks.

At DC's nursery, pre-school and school there's a good mix of fathers and mothers doing drop off and pick up. Professional crowd, lots of PT professional mothers. I'd say nursery is probably 50/50 and school is about 30 mothers/70 fathers. School meetings though are about 90% mothers, but they do put them at stupid times.

[Bluelonerose]

Ignore anyone like that.
There's nothing better than dh saying those 5 magical word "I'll do the school run"
I love those 5 mins curled up on the sofa with a cuppa and blissful alone time.

[MrsKCastle]

Ignore. It's very common nowadays for fathers to do the school run, not quite 50:50 but there are usually at least 2 or 3 fathers outside my classroom every morning/afternoon.

[gamerchick]

Eh? Don’t be daft. My husband does the school run when he’s here. In fact he’s been on annual leave the past 2 weeks and has done all of them!

It’s got piss all to do with anyone else OP, next time it’s mentioned just grin and say ‘I know it’s great isn’t it?’

[Amummyatlast]

My DH is the SAHP so does nearly all of the school runs. But on the rare days I am off I like to do it.

[missyB1]

Well I was going to say it’s a generation thing but actually my mum is 92 and she isn’t like that at all. Mil on the other hand thinks it’s tragic that DH occasionally cooks dinner - apparently that is a huge failure on my part, not that I give a flying fuck

[NeverUseThisName]

What an idiotic point of view.

My dh rearranged his hours 12y ago so that he could take the dc to school once a week, every week. It was, and still is, important to him. When we sent off our youngest's application for secondary school, dh commented that he would be sad in September, because he would no longer be taking any of the dc to school.

[WeeMadArthur]

My DM comes out with crap like this all to often. I used to try and justify myself but I was wasting my breath, plus it’s none of her business how we chose to parent our child. Now every single time she says anything like this I tell her that the 1950s called and wants their opinions back. She harrumphs but it does stop her in the short term. If they keep on then you (and DH for MIL) will just have to be blunt and say you aren’t discussing it anymore.

[TiffTaffTop]

Utter nonsense. My DH takes the later train just so he can walk the DC's to school at least once a week. Ignore and divert their attention elsewhere. It's a complete non-issue what your arrangements are with your children & your lives!

[mindutopia]

That's rubbish. Ignore them. I'm not a SAHM usually, but my dh and I share the school runs equally. I'm on mat leave now (as of last week), but my dh still does the morning drop off every day (and I don't even have a baby at home at the moment). Realistically, I will start doing the majority of them once baby is about a month old because I'd rather my husband get to work. He runs a business so sooner he gets to work, the sooner he comes home in the evening, so I'd rather him be working than doing something I can do. But he insists he still wants to do it some days when he's not busy because he enjoys it and our dd does too (and frankly, I a little bit hate it!). I think if it's preventing your dh from getting to work on time, then yes, if you aren't working and aren't busy, at an appt or something, then you should be doing it. But if he's not meant to be at work then, why wouldn't he do it? It's not the 50s anymore.

[holasoydora]

My Dh works from home and quite often does the school run while I sit looking at my phone tidy up.

He gets ready quicker, minds driving less and cares less about school gate BS. Who cares? Why is it a woman's job in 2018? I love that my kids think it is normal.

[SimultaneousEquation]

In our house Daddy does the school run because Mummy has less flexibility in her working hours, as Mummy has a more senior role than Daddy. Sometimes Mrs Miggins who lives in the next-door house asks us if Daddy has a job, because she has not reconciled herself to the coexistant possibilities of being a man and doing the school run. Mrs Miggins wonders if Mummy is ill, because it just isn’t right, those poor children.

In fact, Mummy spent longer at university, got higher grades and amassed a broader range of experience, which has helped her in her career, and Mummy and Daddy are happy with their school run arrangement, even if Mrs Miggins’ is made to feel uncomfortable by it.

Daddy is still paid more, because he has Y chromosomes, but nonetheless he is able to take Peter and Jane to school, and sometimes walk Pat the dog.

[Sadie82]

Blow their minds....tell them while your Dh is collecting Ds from school you are at home doing DIY 😋

[gamerwidow]

Bollocks to that I love it when DH is off and I can get him to do the school run so I can lay in bed. I feel zero guilt about this.

[Coloursthatweremyjoy]

I do the school runs because I go past on my way to and from work. My DH loves to do it though if he can, children are in two different schools so sometimes we do one each even though I could do both!

My mother occasionally comes out with stuff like this, my favourite being about it not being right I need to drive for so long in the morning. DH commute is over double mine!

Old fashioned and weird.

[windchimesabotage]

mother and MIL should wind their necks in it has nothing to do with them. You do what works best for you and your husband and kids and that is the end of that!!

My MIL is the same... she was praising my DH for the amount of nappies he changed like he was jesus christ himself!!
and once asked why my husband ever had to put the child to bed seeing as i was a stay at home mum, that was my job surely!? Did not occur to her that he might wish to take an active part in his childrens lives or that him doing so was beneficial to the children.

Fathers should do some childcare whether they work and you dont, or whatever the situation is, simply because they are also parents of the children!! They arent solely a job they have employed someone to take care of!!

[grasspigeons]

just say you listened to men of their generation who all said how they wished they spent more time with their family and wanted to facilitate that for your DH

[BuzzKillington]

Ignore the silly old fashioned twits.

My dh does the school run every day and always has done. I find it a bore.

[GoulashSoup]

I’m sorry but why is a vagina required to pick a child up from school?

I know that is a bit coarse but it is essentials what they are saying.

I’m massively failing as a mother as DH does 95% + of the school runs. Fair enough he is the SAHP and I go to work, but I don’t really see how our sex is relevant to how we work our family dynamics/logistics out.

Glad I live in the 21st century, you might like to invite your DM and MIL to join us, they might find it a refreshing change from the 50s.

And seriously, how is having a dig about something so trivial supposed to support someone they care about who clearly could do with TLC.

[SheepyFun]

You might be less anxious if you stopped discussing your domestic arrangements with your DM/MiL. My parents are blissfully ignorant of things like this, so they can't have an opinion!

[Oly5]

My DH does every school run! FFS, it’s 2018!!
Ignore them

[redexpat]

When my mum comes out with shit like that I shout hashtag everday sexism!

[TheFaerieQueene]

1950 called and wanted their martyrs back.