Parenting cheats

[ForTheSakeOfFuck]

Help. I have a fairly typical three-year-old DS - boisterous, argumentative, energetic, all the usual - and twins on the way. As I get more tired and enormous, I am looking at any possible way that I can make life easier for myself. I am basically begging for those really simple quick-and-dirty parenting cheats that you've discovered by chance or learned from others that cut down stress, time, and tantrums, even if they mean a compromise in our otherwise impeccable hahahaaa yeah not in this house standards.

For instance, DS is very active and he has no interest in food for its own sake, so he's a skinny rake and getting him to sit and eat a half-decent meal is torture for everyone involved. I just let breakfast and lunch play out however, but I discovered that if he watches his iPad at the dinner table I can hear the gasps of horror already he may eat incredibly slowly, but he eats way more, and I can sneak veggies and all sorts down him. This is about the only life-changing thing I have discovered in the last three years but oh my god it has brought my daily stress levels down and turned meals into something enjoyable again.

Anyway, anyone got any other cheats that they're willing to confess to, to help me save my sanity?

Note: this is meant to be light-hearted but will no doubt horrify the Performance/Competitive Parenting Brigades so if the notion of parental cheating gives you the vapours then this thread may not be for you.

[ChocolateSherberts2017]

Mac n cheese - just layers of cooked pasta & grated cheese & creme fraiche with bread crumbs or crumbled breadsticks/croutons as a topping. No cooking required apart from boiling pasta & a quick blast under the grill. Lazy tea in my house.

Pitta bread, salad, corn on the cob & grilled meat/chicken takes no time at all. We eat this on a picnic mat indoors on rainy days or outside if it's nice. Any meal outside is a treat and my dc love it.

Mini bottle of baby bath in the nappy bag for those times when the babies have done an explosive poo which goes all the way up their backs. Johnson's do the baby bath wipes now so that saves the hassle of washing.

If your late coming home from a day out, take pj's with you so you can change them before your journey back home. Then it's straight to bed as soon as you get home.

Have an extra bag of clothes and nappies stored in the car at all times in addition to your nappy bag. This way you've got extras if you ran out in your nappy bag.

[Dolceandgabbana14]

Haven't RTFT but my stubborn three year old DS responds well to 'races'. I'll race you to put your shoes on... I'll race you to get in the car (when he has to get in on the side opposite the one he has to sit in and climb over to his side), I'll race you to put your seatbelt on before Mummy counts to 5...

Works a treat! I don't recommend winning. Ever. It resulted in the biggest tantrum I've ever seen and I thought I'd never be able to use the race technique again

[DellaPorter]

Take a flask of tea out with you in the car. Once toddler is strapped back in after your excursion, you can have a cuppa. All the better if toddler dozes off. A box of child drinks and snacks in the boot can be handy too

[Ironmanrocks]

When you have run out of school jumpers, use a wet wipe to clean off the worst. Top tip from a friend of mine.
I shower with mine DS in the morning. Much quicker. Evening baths are a treat!
I make shopping fun. We have a drink (sometimes cake!) before a shop so he doesn't 'want' everything...we also sing songs the whole way round...sorry everybody!
We time cleaning up toys...either setting a timer to try and get everything tidy in 5 or 10 mins or timing how long it takes.
Beans on toast with cheese....fine. I also keep in ambrosia creamed rice in those everlasting pots. Fills them up if they don't eat much.
I def clean the bathroom while he's in the bath/cleaning teeth.
I clean the kitchen while he's eating breakfast.
He has to follow me when I'm taking washing downstairs/upstairs...in case I drop anything which I obviously do on purpose to keep him occupied.
I'm sure I have more!

[LiveLifeWithPassion]

If dinner didn't go well, weetabix before bed is perfectly fine.

Don't need to bath kids every day. A quick shower or wash by a running bath tap is much quicker.

Get kids out for a bit in the morning.

Take care of yourself! If you're unhappy and stressed, the rest goes to pot.
Get washed and dressed first thing.
Prep easy quick meals in the morning when things seem to be calmer.
Let cbeebies or funny cat and baby YouTube clips babysit while you get some stuff done.
Rest whenever you can.

[Crunchyside]

Dolceandgabbana14 We "race" to see who can do their wee first, me on the toilet and him on the potty... If he thinks I'm winning he screams "NO! DON'T WIN!! I want to win!"

[Heirhelp]

I only have 1 11minth old but I buy all her clothes from Sainsbury's online when they have 25% off. It means one lot of shopping, one trip to the shop to collect it and she out grows all of her clothes at the same time so no sorting. All clothes are nursery grade clothes.

Yy to keeping a stash of clothes downstairs and a laundry bin for children stuff down stairs as well as upstairs.

[TeaAndCake]

Sign up to Ocado/Tesco/supermarket of choice to do grocery shopping. Never attempt to do a full shop with two babies and a toddler. Urgh, the horror!

That said, you will surely at some time need to do a top up milk/bread shop so find a small store where you can park off road within sight of the window.
The thought of trawling 3 kids out of the car for a purchase that takes 4 minutes and then buckle everyone back in their seats was often too much for me. Luckily, I found two shops fairly nearby where I could do this (one was a petrol station with a small Co-Op). This may be a bit controversial on MN but I care not .

Keep a bag in the boot of your car with spare clothes/nappies etc. A catastrophic nappy or toddler accident can cut short an outing unnecessarily. It's easy to forget to replenish stuff in the changing bag and get caught out. Happened many times!
I still keep a bag with spares for everyone in the car. Also wipes, tissues, calpol sachets, hand gel, plastic bag for dirty items, plasters and an unopened bottle of water.
My DC are now 10, 7 and 5 but still capable of dipping themselves in a muddy puddle!

[itsonlysubterfuge]

Cous Cous is such an easy meal. Boil the kettle, pour cous cous into a bowl, add a stock cube, pour boiling water over cous cous, cover bowl with cling film. Dinner is ready in 5 minutes. If you had leftover meat of some sort, you can chop it up and add it after it's finished and even some frozen veg you heat up in the microwave if your child will eat it. DD likes the cous cous by itself, so I just add some cubes of cheese and some cucumber slices to the plate.

Also, this actually takes a lot of time at first, but in the end it's worth it. I freeze individual portions for DD. Her favourite thing to eat is chilli, so I make a huge batch and then freeze like 20 portions for her in freezer bags. Clean out a freezer drawer and lie them flat in the bags then they don't take up as much room.

[MusicToMyEars800]

my dds fight over who gets to do things I ask eg: putting washing in the machine so I delegate little jobs for them such as hovering or doing a bit of dusting, helping to sort out the washing they love it. I bath them after school twice a week so about 4:00pm, while they are in the bath I can get dinner cooking and do a bit of tidying. I do quick dinners for those evenings when I am knackered and still have to go to work eg: pasta with some tuna, sweetcorn and cheese or soup with bread and butter. I always carry baby wipes in my handbag ( they are a life saver ) on a sunday I iron all the uniforms and fold them up and keep them in the living room for the next morning including knickers and socks/tights. My dds are 7 and 5

[MarzipanPiggy]

Mine like playing 'the laundry game'.

It involved me emptying all the clean laundry onto the kitchen floor, putting out four empty laundry baskets and the DC sort it by person.

[Shodan]

I can't think of anything to add and besides, mine are 9 and 21 now, but just had to say...

Stickers. Lots of stickers and peel off the negative bit of the front of the stickers (you know, the coloured bit that is left when you take al the stickers off) 3 mins doing that and they can take off the stickers from the remainder of the backing without your help

Oh. My. God. Why didn't I think of this before? All those hours spent peeling off Thomas the bloody Tank Engine/zoo animals/sparkly animals etc stickers.

[DellaPorter]

Weaning - save messy food for before bath time, strip child before feeding
Or save a pile of old tshirts and stick them on over clothes

A collection of old large tshirts plus washable nappy squares and old towels is also very helpful for sick kids/vomiting

Rather than change the bed,lay down a towel

[DellaPorter]

In the middle of the night, I mean

[Nellooo]

Get some audio books on the iPad/phone so you can lay them down, turn out the light, slink away and let them listen to a story instead of having to read and pat and tuck in and sing and pat and tuck in... My DS (now 7) has had audiobooks a few nights a week since he was about 3 and has always fallen asleep within about 20min of me leaving him. May not work for some kids, but mine is v easily lulled off to sleep by this!

[millifiori]

Wipes. I think the entire house was cleaned just with throw away wipes for about a year after I had twins.

Tinned spaghetti and microwave veg portions. You can heat up the spaghetti, grate on some cheese or chop in some ham, add a portion of mixed microwave veg and that's dinner for DS made in five mins. My two loved this much more than lovingly prepared food so they had it at least two or three times a week. Same with cheese on toast or beans on toast.

Buy all veg pre chopped, peeled and frozen.

Velcro shoes, elasticated waist trousers for DS so he can dress himself easily. He can learn to do laces later.

Film nights. When you are all knackered, put on a film he loves and lie on the sofa to watch it, with some shop bought ready roast chicken, bread and veg sticks.

[KP86]

Oh, yes. Frozen mashed potato is the best. And 1kg bag for £1 is a total bargain.

[JaxingJump]

Strap kids in car, leg it back in to make a proper coffee in my bodum thermos cup. Always feels like I'm drinking coffee on my terms in the car.

Make a supper plate of little snacks earlier in the day to shout 'SUPPER' at 6.30pm when they are tearing the hair out of each other over nothing. It stops the crap immediately and keeps them busy till 7.15 when we can go upstairs for stories. Can also be used as bribe 'no supper plate till pjs are on' etc.

Put towels on table give each child a few paintbrushes, cup of washing up liquid and water and shallow rubber wear tub of water. Grab all vehicles from playroom and let them do a 'car wash' on kitchen table. Much cleaner than other table activities.

Put them in pjs at 4.30 before dinner and before trying to make them eat sucks all remaining energy out of you.

Bring a duvet down to TV room, put on a movie and share out a bag of popcorn between them. The popcorn gets them sitting and focused and they hopefully get into the movie.

Teach them to always put their arms in car seat straps the moment they sit. Do you only have to clip in. A combo of bribery or refusing to go will get them doing it till it's automatic.

[GoldilocksAndTheThreePears]

Always, always, add a couple of drops of washing up liquid to any paint before use, makes it a lot easier to clean.

I used to give kids a chopping board, banana, cup and baby fork at the table. task is to mash the banana and put it in the cup ready to put in the freezer for later but none ever made it, they'd smoosh it and squidge it and eat it but as they were contained minimal cleanup.

Also used to do pizzas, give the kids a slice of bread or sliced cob on a baking tray ready to put in and several bowls with sauce, cheese, ham etc then lots of chopped vegies. It used to fill time for me to do other stuff they rearranged and ate bits, then shove the whole tray in the oven.

Although I'm not sure they count as cheats more just things to keep them occupied while doing other stuff.

[BalloonSlayer]

A load of fridge magnets and a baking tray can be very absorbing.

Try to remember to make sure you have removed all the magnets before you cook something though because they melt and stink - I speak from experience.

[ForTheSakeOfFuck]

I know I've posted this already but my god, you lot are genius. (Geniuses?)

By contrast, I am starting to wonder if I am some sort of parenting potato. I thought I'd had a stroke of unequalled intellect the day I discovered letting DS "paint" with water outside on the paving-stones using a big old decorating paintbrush and a bucket. I am now starting to think that I am a Deferred Success at these things.

[ForTheSakeOfFuck]

And not to single out anyone but the "carwash" thing? Oh my god my DS is going to more than love this. He absolutely adores any kind of water-play. He will spend an hour stood on his buffet pouring a half-a-sink of water back and forth between various containers and jugs and spoons.

[dementedma]

A bath full of bubbles and toys, yoghurt pots, spoons etc at any time of the day. Bung in child, sit on the floor or loo and let them play while you have a cup of tea and read the paper. Mine have been known to have several baths a day on occasion

[WankingMonkey]

This is more a tip for the twins, for if you didn't know..I wish I had known this when mine were tiny but...

Baby vests are designed to roll down the shoulders. Not come off over the head.

Very useful for explode-a-poos. I used to spend ages trying not to get it in my kids' faces